Be thankful and STOP COMPLAINING!

One of the easiest things to ever do is to be a critic. Traffic is horrible, the weeds in my garden are a nuisance, clothing is too tight, the roads in the area are not repaired quickly enough or properly enough, the price of gas is too high, the neighbor’s dog barks too loud, the coffee is cold, or too strong, or not strong enough, the weather is too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or too dry. Complain complain complain. It’s easy to find fault with ANYONE and ANYTHING we can. And we don’t just do it in face to face meetings. We take to social media to raise the stakes of our complaints, widening the circle of who gets wrapped up in those complaints. Complaining is a bad habit that needs to be broken in order to live a happier life.

Here’s a thought for you: try to spend just ONE day as an anti-complainer. Whenever you are tempted to complain about something during the day, stop yourself, and think about whether what you are complaining about is necessary. Avoid it whenever possible. There are numerous benefits to complaining less. It shifts our focus to the positive. It allows gratitude to take root. When gratitude takes root, it will blossom and bloom into a more positive, happy life!

Let’s be perfectly clear here, I believe it is perfectly OK to vent every now and again. Venting is healthy. Venting is necessary. Venting should be a once and done event that makes you feel a whole lot better after you’ve let it go! Quite a few people often get confused by the difference between venting and complaining.

Venting is a good thing. It is simply about blowing off some steam for one reason or another.  For instance, you might need to vent after you’ve been treated poorly by a customer OR a customer service representative regarding an issue, or after a bird took a poop on your freshly washed car, OR you’ve failed a big test that you thought was rather easy.

Venting is a positive and healthy activity because there’s a clear goal involved: you are getting rid of your negative feelings (anger, frustration, etc.) about the situation and once you’re done, you let it go. It’s not about wallowing in the situation for weeks, days, or even hours. It’s quick and it’s simple: you vent about the person you’ve been dealing with or the situation at hand and then once it’s off your chest, you move on.

On the contrary, complaining is all about choosing to stay in a negative state by projecting that negativity onto someone else. Complaining, unlike venting, isn’t a temporary state of just getting it out. Complainers are typically usually stuck in a destructive pattern of needing a captive audience to serve as a dumping ground for their negative emotions. How can you recognize a constant complainer rather than a once in a while venter? It’s pretty easy, actually: you’ll know that you’re dealing with a chronic complainer if you’re afraid to strike up conversation with him/her by asking the normally innocent question(s): “Hey, how’s it going? How are you?”

Complainers will bitch and moan incessantly, usually without listening to a word that you have to say, and of course, they’ll gladly take up as much of your time as you’re willing to give to them. Worst of all, if you allow them to, they’ll end up dragging you down into their emotional baggage with you and take you right along for the miserable ride.

Stop the complaining, people! Honestly, no one wants to hear it. Think about this: when you know someone you are about to talk to is going to do nothing but complain, do you really want to stand there and talk to them? What makes you think anyone truly wants to hear YOUR complaining either? Complaining is toxic.

When my life turned around, thanks to Think Thankfully, I realized it is so much better to live in a positive place rather than the negative. Living a life filled with positivity has nothing to do with refusing to see negative events, or pretending that the negative event is not happening to us or around us. Positivity is about refusing to dwell in negativity. It’s about consciously choosing to focus on more productive and worthwhile solutions instead. Being positive is all about acknowledging the negativity, but never choosing to live there. When I decided I no longer wanted to live in the negative, I found that I no longer even wanted to be in the company of negative people, complainers, whiners. It didn’t serve me any purpose and so I wanted no part of it.

I challenged myself, each night, to find something in my day to be thankful for. Rather than complain about the events of the day, I chose to express gratitude for the good in my life. And what a life changer it was. My whole mindset changed and I realized if I could not find something good, some little piece of good, in my day, then I did something wrong in that day, because there is good in every day, if we look past the negative and find it. Complaining doesn’t get us to that goodness. STOP THE COMPLAINING!

Challenge yourself, to stop complaining! Try to go one day without uttering a true complaint. When you find yourself ready to start the uncontrollable string of complaints, just STOP. Decide whether or not it is worth the energy to even complain about. Find something positive and focus on that. Simply STOP COMPLAINING all the time! Just watch how your life can change.....for the better!

Until next time…..Think Thankfully!

The Golden Rule

Treat others how you wish to be treated. This concept has been swirling around my head a lot lately. This is, after all, the GOLDEN RULE, right?

This ‘Golden Rule’ goes far beyond simply being nice to people, or going out of your way to be helpful to those who find themselves in need. Of course, you would want others to help you out if you happen to find yourself in a pinch. I have also found that there are many ways to follow this ‘rule’ that may go completely unnoticed by others. Treating others the way you wish to be treated is simply about adjusting your views and attitudes.

Say what? Think about it. Instead of just treating others the way you would want to be treated, think about others the way you would want others to think about you. Honestly feel about others the way you would want others to feel about you. Speak to others the way you would want to be spoken to or spoken of. Respect others the way you would want to be respected in return.

When you treat others with the kind of respect that you would like to be treated with, you are helping to give them the opportunity to be the best possible person they can. If you treat others how you would want to be treated, it will be very apparent that people will like being around you and will be more likely to help you out in any situation, since they know that you would do the same for them. However, this is NOT always easy, especially when you are continually taken advantage of, taken for granted.

The 'rule' of treating others as you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes, will ultimately lead to your own happiness. It isn’t difficult to implement the ‘Golden Rule’ in your interactions with other people. Begin by helping your neighbors, treating your family with kindness, go the extra mile for your co-workers, or help a stranger who can never repay you. All those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to, BUT you’ll also notice something else: People will start to treat you better too, most assuredly. However, it goes far beyond that. You will soon find a growing sense of satisfaction in yourself, a more profound belief in yourself, a confident knowledge that you are a good person and an undoubted trust in yourself. It really is as simple as it sounds.

Lately, I’ve seen how this idea has fallen by the wayside. People are so entitled anymore. They feel as though the world (and perhaps everyone in it) owes them. Owes them what? People always tend to see the worst in others without seeing it in themselves, first. By nature, people want to be treated with respect, but many times they themselves are not very respectful to others. We’ve all encountered those people in our lives. The concept: to treat others the way you expect others to treat you, may be one of the 'golden rules' in life, but many people choose to ignore this simple idea. Basically what it comes down to is this: people should not expect to be treated any different than the way they treat people themselves.

People will give you what you give to them, so why expect anything different? If you find yourself NOT liking the way that you have been treated lately, step back and rethink the way you are treating others, there may be a connection between the two.

Until next time….Think Thankfully

Superpowers, ACTIVATE!!!!

Dear Readers,

As I wrote about the other day, I have got a lot of ‘crap’ going on inside my head lately. I am able to remain strong for awhile and then WHAM. I feel as though I’ve fallen down a ravine and I’m struggling to crawl back out. I know exactly where my feelings come from. I allow what other people think of me to control me. Isn’t this something we all tend to do from time to time? Of course. All too often in our lives we are so concerned about what other people think of us, that we allow them to get inside our head, create a feeling of inadequacy, and ultimately, we give all of our superpowers away.

Let’s work on regaining our superpowers, why don’t we? It seems as though we are always finding ourselves doing what others want us to do or expect us to do. After awhile, we find ourselves completely drained, feeling lost in a world that does not seem to care about us. Just how easy is it to give away our superpowers to others? It’s pretty darn easy, let me tell you. 

Hmmmmmmm, are you the type of person who:

• ·         Engages in gossip
• ·         Says yes to everything to please everyone else
• ·         Obsesses about other people’s behaviors (despite knowing you cannot change them)
• ·         Tries to be nice to everyone
• ·         Constantly doubts yourself
• ·         Feels the need to keep up with the Jones’s

A lot of us engage in these types of behaviors without even realizing it. We give our superpowers away and before we know it, we feel that complete and utter feeling of loss, failure. The beauty of this is, that once you really start to acknowledge what you are doing, you have no excuse not to reclaim your superpower, never to give it away again.

So, just how DO you reclaim that superpower? Well, the first step is to realize when you are giving it away. Step two is to start to form a strategy firmly in your head for saying ‘No’ to giving your power away. If someone tries to engage you in gossip, politely listen but offer nothing in return. As you get more and more of your power back you can work on stopping the person trying to engage you in gossip with a simple: ‘Listen, I am not really interested.’ And walk away. Finally, the third and final step is start to implement your strategy in all the areas where you are giving away your superpower. If someone asks you to do something for them, just say ‘No’. You don’t have to offer any excuses for saying no, you don’t have to explain yourself. If the person prompts you further, you can say ‘I just don’t want to.’

Sure this can all sound real good on the computer screen. Reading it and doing it are two different things. In the end, the choice is yours. Do you want to keep your superpowers or do you want to keep giving them away to people who aren’t really deserving of them? I know where I fit in here…..

Until tomorrow, my friends.....some people drain you and some people help to boost your superpowers. Choose those who help boost your superpowers! Reclaim YOUR life!!!

Think Thankfully! 

Guardian angels and good news!!!

Dear Readers,

Life has been very hectic for me the past few weeks. I've been dealing with a lot of personal things as well as shouldering the worry and anxiety of my 24 year old daughter, who has had some major life events happen. My daughter is a worrier, she is riddled with anxiety, and she sets extremely high standards for herself (and subsequently finds herself second guessing herself, causing even more anxiety and stress in her life).

On February 20, she took her comprehensive exams that would pretty much determine her future. In order to graduate from American University (with a pretty impressive Masters Degree), she had to pass the tests placed before her. And in order to obtain the full time job offer that was presented to her, she needed to graduate in May with her Masters. Not passing the comps = no graduation, which in turn = no job. Nightmare situation to find yourself in when you are a worrier.

My daughter has always excelled in school. She places a lot of pressure on herself to get good grades (and let it be known, I never put that pressure on her.....I was always happy as long as my children gave it their best effort). Throughout elementary school, junior high, high school, and undergrad work, she always took on the toughest classes, aimed high, and worried until she knew she was going to succeed. She finished high school in the top 10% of her class, earning many scholarships along the way. She graduated with her Bachelors Degree (with multiple honors) from a pretty highly regarded university and then set her sights on her graduate work.

American University is NOT an easy place to acquire a degree of any kind. It is a very tough, rigorous institution that demands near excellence. To make it through nearly two years of graduate level work in her area of study has not been an easy task for her. So, when she signed up for the comprehensive exams, it began nearly 6 weeks of intense studying and worrying. As her mom, I knew she was going to be just fine, but because she worried, so did I. During this time, she decided to start apartment hunting, moving out of the apartment under the stairs ('Harry Pottering it', as one of her co-workers lovingly referred to her previous living conditions) and onto a little more spacious living arrangement (with natural lighting for a change!!!!!). On top of the mounds of stress with the taking of exams, she adds to it, the stress of finding relatively inexpensive living in the DC-Metro area. Oooooookkkkkkk!!!!

March 21 she got the keys to her apartment. And then the worrying began again. What if I didn't pass my test? What if I don't graduate and don't have my job? What if I have to wait til August? How will I afford this place? All the questions swirled around her head for the past week, and, truth be told, they swirled around mine too. I worried so much.

Enter my angels. I've got three incredible guardian angels who never go too far away from me or my girls: Pappy Lester, Pappy Wip, and Grandma Marilyn. I've written about my grandma many times before. She was my world. It's taken me five years to be almost ok with losing her. But today, she reminded me that she is ALWAYS right here....helping me (and my girls) as much as she can. She proves over and over again that she is my guardian angel.

Today would have been my grandmother's 85th birthday. Marilyn Mae (Rehrig) Everett was born on March 25, 1930. She passed away on February 2, 2010. Today, she reminded me that she is always right here. At about 3pm this afternoon, I received a call from my daughter. She excitedly told me she just got the results to her comps. SHE PASSED THEM!!! I can't think of a more perfect day to find this out. While birthdays are typically a day to receive a birthday gift, today my gram made sure WE were the recipients of the best gift ever: passing scores on the most important test of my daughter's life!!! And to quote one of her friends, when she posted the news on the great book of Faces, "Congrats!! I can't wait to see what all you continue to accomplish!"

I believe in angels. Always have and always will.

Until next time, my friends.....never stop believing in your angels. They are always right there beside you, helping to show you the way.

Leave the past where it belongs

Dear Readers,

Today has been the best day ever. I'm so serious. It's been a long time since I can honestly say that I had THIS kind of day. Wasn't so sure it was going to be awesome when I woke up, but right now, at this moment, I can honestly say that THIS day, March 7, 2015, will be one for the record books.

To start my amazing day, I stuck to one of my New Year's promises to myself. I never make resolutions because they are just too silly sometimes. I made promises to myself, because a promise is harder for me to break. This year, I vowed that I would be better at making plans with friends whose advice, opinions, and friendships I truly valued. I didn't just want to be Facebook friends, I wanted people I considered friends to know how I felt. So, today......I had a three hour lunch with my dear friend Josann. What a wonderful time we had. And the funny thing is, I didn't even have my phone with me in the restaurant (or so I thought). When I came out from our lunch, I panicked in my car, thinking someone stole my phone. It was in my purse all the time, but it made no difference. I had no desire to be on my phone while being with her. Suffice it to say, that we had such an enjoyable time that we decided to plan a once a month lunch date! Promise to myself - KEPT!

Then, I attended the 16th birthday party of the daughter of one of my dear friends. We had such a good time at the party. Good food, good friends, and good times. I was so happy that I was able to celebrate with them, even if I don't really know her daughter all that well. To be able to be there for my friend was just great!!

And then....my night ended on such a positive note that I am still smiling. Last Spring, I had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine. Without rehashing the situation, I will say it saddened me to lose this friendship. Tonight, I came home from the party to a Facebook message, my friend offering an olive branch and a rekindling of a friendship. Tears immediately came to my eyes and my soul felt refreshed. This friend was someone I had known forever, and to lose the friendship was a sad event in my life, but one that taught me a lot throughout the past few months and I believe the final lesson was the most important. Leave the past where it belongs....behind you. I am so thankful to have this friendship back, for not letting pride get in the way of either one of us (her for the extension and me for the accepting). 

When the decision is made to forgive and forget, that is what has to happen. Leave the past in the past. Take the lessons that were taught and move forward, making sure that you always work to be better than you were the day before. People say you can forgive but you can never forget. You make that choice. It is not easy. It is probably the toughest thing you will ever do. But in NOT forgetting, in remembering the negative of the situation, you will never escape from the bitterness negative memories bring with them. To quote my friend in her message to me, "To letting the past be the past and the present being a gift." Tonight, it's been the best gift I could have been offered.

Until next time, my friends.....in good times and bad times, I'll be on your side. Forevermore. That's what friends are for.

Think Thankfully!

Something to think about

Dear Readers,

I tend to write when the mood strikes me. Sometimes it is once a day, sometimes it is more than once a day, sometimes there may be days or weeks in between postings. Today was a day that I sat and wrote out a few blogs that I wanted to get down. I wrote earlier in the morning about being happy (see previous blog entry). Now, I am writing about something that LEAPED out at me, right off the pages of the book, and SCREAMED at me to WRITE WRITE WRITE!!! I should prepare you, it isn't a normal blog entry and some might even think it is a bit on the morbid side, but......

Two years ago, my oldest daughter gave me the most wonderful Christmas gift. A book (surprise surprise! I told you I love books!) entitled, Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom. It's not a book I sit and read from cover to cover, but rather it is a collection of her words, her thoughts on topics, that I tend to pick up when I need 'reminders'. The inscription on the blank page of the book had a note written by my daughter, because she knows all too well, that even those who appear the strongest and bravest need reminders from time to time. Today, I needed one of Mother Teresa's thought provoking reminders.

On page 92 of the book, in a chapter entitled Suffering and Death, I found this particular blurb: "If you were to die today, what would others say about you? What was in you that was beautiful, that was Christlike, that helped others to pray better? Face yourself, with Jesus at your side, and do not be satisfied with just any answer." WOW. Now there's something to think about. If I were today today, what would others say about me. It was time to really face myself, and so I thought this one through.

Sure, many times people ask, "If you knew you had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Who would you spend it with?" or "Would you want to know how long you have on this earth?". But let's think about this one, and I will repeat it again, "If you were to die today, what would others say about you?"

This question forces us to take a long hard look at ourselves. We've all sat at funerals, whether they be of a beloved family member or a friend, and we've heard what people had to say about that person. But thinking about that, I wonder, what would people say about me? Have I lived the life I think I have? Have I been a good friend? Have I loved enough? Have I loved truly? Have I spoken kind words more often than not?

Until tomorrow, my friends.....do yourself a favor and check out the book, Mother Teresa: Her Essential Wisdom edited by Carol Kelly-Gangi.

Think Thankfully! 

Life lessons from some of my favorite characters

Dear Readers,

Not all blog posts have to be about how to be more positive! I love writing about being positive and being more thankful but sometimes I like to take a step back and write about things that I absolutely LOVE. It gives my readers a little glimpse into me, as a real person, not just words behind a blog! So, let me tell you something about myself......

I love to read. I believe books are one of the most valuable treasures we can have.  To quote one of my favorite authors, “Reading can take you places you have never been before.” (Seuss).  I have always been surrounded by books. My parents read to me as a very young child. I learned to read on my own at a very young age. I read to my own daughters almost every night as they were growing up. I had more books on my bookshelves than the shelves actually had room for. I have always been fascinated by books and I try to instill in my own students a love for reading. I try to read aloud to them as often as I possibly can.

I’m not sure what it is about diving into a good book that really pacifies me.  I enjoyed venturing into the Hundred Acre Wood. Traveling the mighty seas with Captain Ahab. Flying in the Weasley’s car or taking the Hogwarts Express from Platform 9 3/4 to Hogwarts. Falling down the rabbit hole with Alice (and the White Rabbit). Roaming the plantation Tara. And even sitting bedside with Morrie Schwartz as he taught us many lessons on life and dying over the course of 14 Tuesdays. Books have the capability to remove you from your current location and take you anywhere you dream.

Often, when I find myself in times of trouble, I turn to a book. Nicholas Sparks can catapult me into a romance somewhere in the wonderful state of North Carolina. John Saul can torture my soul with his dark mysteries. Barbara Delinsky can show me that strong women make just as good protagonists as any man could. And Dr. Seuss can remind me of the fun that a book can bring into your life. I’ve learned many lessons from the characters on the pages of a good book (or even a not so good book).

Some of the greatest life lessons I’ve learned have been from some of my favorite characaters in some of my favorite books:

Christopher Robin (Winnie the Pooh) taught me to remember that I’m braver than I believe, and stronger than I seem, and smarter than I think.

Edmund Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia books) taught me that it is perfectly OK to admit when you are wrong.

Holden Caufield (The Catcher in the Rye) taught me to never take life too seriously, because after all, nothing is permanent.

Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre) taught me not to care what others think of me, or say about me, to remain strong. Life can be a tragedy, but it can be a beautiful tragedy!

Johnny Cade (The Outsiders) taught me to always stay gold.

Peter Pan (Peter Pan) taught me that I can always be a kid at heart, no matter how old I become.

Hazel Grace Lancaster (The Fault in our Stars) taught me to think and feel more.

Scarlett O’Hara (Gone with the Wind) and Dorothy Gale (The Wizard of Oz) taught me that there is no place like home.

Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) taught me what real courage is: when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.

Boo Radley (To Kill a Mockingbird) taught me even if you're not perfect, even if you are broken, you can still find ways to be a hero.

Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie) taught me that once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter Series) taught me that there is room for good in everyone.

And last, but certainly not least in the life lessons learned in a book:

Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter Series) taught me that it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

Oh there are so many more lessons I have learned from reading books.  So many places I have been….courtrooms, beaches, magical schools, the Land of Oz, Atlanta, Narnia, Neverland, the mountains, the deserts, on boats, foreign countries. I have been so many places without ever leaving the comforts of my home and learned so many different things that have helped create the person who types on the keyboard, bringing you these blog postings as often as the inspiration hits me.

So, I ask....what books/characters shaped you? What are your favorite 'go-to reads'? What characters will you never forget?

Until next time, my friends....take the time to pick up a book and read. It's one of the most fundamental things you can do for YOU!

Think Thankfully!

A little 1978 country inspiration......tell me you aren't singing out loud!

Dear Readers,

I’m starting out this blog entry with a little disclaimer: if you do not like country music, stop reading right now! I have managed to change this entry many times today; more than you could ever imagine. It was not until I looked at my personal Think Thankfully post on the great book of Faces from last night, that the ultimate inspiration hit me!

If you are (or have ever been) a fan of country music (and even if you aren't or never have been), I'd be willing to bet you have heard Kenny Rogers’ famous song The Gambler. Many songs tell a story (if they are a good song that is) and The Gambler is no different. In this particular song, we have a young guy who’s down on his luck and ends up sitting next to an experienced old gambler on a train "bound for nowhere". The premise of the story is that the two tend to take turns staring out the window for awhile, when the tension between the two is broken and the experienced old gambler 'clues' the young traveler in that he has made a life out of 'reading people's faces'. The Gambler is able to tell that the young man next to him is pretty down on his luck, or 'out of aces' as the song describes. For a simple taste of whiskey (and a bummed cigarette and light), he is willing to offer his sage advice to his young traveling companion and it is at this point I believe everyone sings along when they hear the chorus ring out:

“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em

Know when to fold ‘em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run

You never count your money

When you’re sittin’ at the table

Cuz there’ll be time enough for counting

When the dealin’s done”

One of the hardest parts of life, is knowing when to cut your losses. Knowing when to hold ‘em, fold  ‘em, walk away, or run. Yesterday was not a good day for me. It was a day filled with ultimate frustrations. Lately, I have been feeling more and more that I need a change of scenery. I allow too many things to get the best of me. I've lost my ability to 'shake it off' when I feel I'm not doing the best I can. In my line of work, the average burnout rate is 3-5 years. I have been at it for 18. Being the best in the classroom is something I work hard at and something I pride myself in. I don’t believe in quitting. Quitting is not an option for me. Being strong enough to know that I’m becoming ineffective and that perhaps it is time to walk away, is an admission I am not afraid to make. I understand myself well enough to know when I am more than capable of mustering through some frustrations, or when it’s best to just fold and walk away.

A wise person commented on my thankful status, saying, “Just make sure you know where you are running to!” This is the hard part. I know what I want. I know what I love, what I enjoy. I know where I want to run to, but actually being able to is an entirely new story. After posting my nightly status, a friend of mine sent me a video in which she said, "Hey! Did you have a bad day? I'm sorry. There's no reason to be upset because you have lots of friends and family who love you and accept you for who you are! You do what you have to do. You'll know when that time is right. Just know this: I LOVE YOU!" I sat and cried. As much as I help many people through their frustrations, people help me through mine!! (A little laughter goes a long way, too!!!)

Have no fear, I am not feeling down in the dumps, depressed, sad, or extremely defeated (ok, maybe just a little defeated, but not extremely so!). I simply know my limits and know that I must make a change in order to feel energized again. The wonderful thing about writing is that I can get my feelings out and help to get things into perspective. 

Until next time, my friends....just remember, the "secret to survivin' is knowing what to throw away, and knowing what to keep".

Think Thankfully!

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers (1978)

Working on a dream

Dear Readers,

I wish I had the ultimate answer to how to make this blog, our Think Thankfully Facebook page, and the idea of being a more thankful, positive person 'go viral'. Some days I feel like I am fighting a losing battle, although it is a battle I will fight as hard as I can for as long as I can. I write, I post, and yet, I can't reach the amount of people I want to reach. Please don't misunderstand my feelings. I am thrilled beyond words at how many people I do reach, I just find myself wishing for more. When I see other 'pages' on the great book of Faces that have thousands of followers, likes on images, comments on posts....I get very discouraged.

Sometimes, I feel as though people want to be more positive, but they do not really want to be more positive. Does that make sense? I get so discouraged when I can't get a few more likes on my page, when I am stagnant at a certain number, when my outreach is merely an audience of 100 (if I am lucky....some posts don't even garnish that much of an outreach). I get even more discouraged when people unlike the page. I take it personally. I wonder why. I don't post too much (in fact, I think I post too little), I don't clog up your newsfeed. What was it about my posts that caused you to unlike us? It's a frustrating feeling, a never ending cycle. I accept and readily admit that I get very envious of people who seem to have their shit together with regards to social media outreach. I don't know how to make that happen for me.

I wish I were able to make a career out of writing. I want nothing more than to write, to be 'well-renowned' in the world of words. I'd love to sit and write all day long. I know that it isn't as glamorous as I imagine it to be, and I know that there are many days when words aren't easy to come by, but I dream. I want to reach people. I want more than 30 people to read my blog. 

I sit here, wishing. I sit here, researching. I sit here, writing. Writing words that people will never see (well, except my mom. She reads ALL my blog postings!). Writing my innermost feelings. I find myself sitting at restaurants when thoughts swirl around my head. I wonder if what I have to say is worth anything to anyone.

For now, I will just keep doing what I'm doing....

Until next time, my friends....thanks for all the support! Keep on sharing!

Think Thankfully

Choose your people wisely

Dear Readers,

I call them toxic. Toxic people. I'm sure you know one (or more) of these types of people. You know what I am talking about...those people who drain you every time you are around them. They complain ALL the time. They are ALWAYS negative. No matter the amount of happiness or positive influence in their lives, they CANNOT see the good. Toxic people. Just as toxic things drain us of our life energy, toxic people drain us of our emotional energy.

I've had a few toxic friendships over the years. The friendships where I've been drained after spending a few hours with the 'friend' I was with. The toxic friend who NEVER had positive things to say, always drained conversations with her 'woe is me' stories and attitudes. The toxic friend who failed to help when I was in a situation because HER troubles were far more important. Toxic friendships. Although it sounds horrible, you absolutely HATE to see these people coming your way. Knowing you must be in their company gives you a feeling of impending doom. There is nothing worse than expecting a great day, only to have that one person simply ruin it by bringing along their own dark cloud and thunderstorm. It is this type of friendship I walked away from, never to look back. I had to do it for me...for my own emotional cleansing.

I am fully aware that before my own Think Thankfully journey, I was a toxic person. I fueled myself on every bit of negativity I could muster. I saw every opportunity for things to go badly. I complained (A LOT more than I do now), bitched, and brought my own dark cloud everywhere I went. I worried all the time, allowed stress and negativity a lot of space in my head, and in the end, I know I pushed people away. People hated to see me coming. Because I valued myself and because I realized the error in how I was living my life, I now feel as though people smile when they see me approaching. I don't tend to push people away anymore.

As I wrote yesterday, each day I give myself the gift of an attitude of gratitude. I no longer allow myself to be burdened with stress of things I cannot control, people I cannot change, and negativity in my life. I have learned that my life is worth LIVING to the FULLEST. To do that, I have learned that I possess a spark inside me that wants to be lit entirely. To keep that spark glowing, I must see the good, experience positive, surround myself with people who make me smile. In allowing my spark the breathing room it needs, I am fully capable of spreading gratitude, happiness, joy, and friendship to those around me, in hopes of igniting their spark as well.

I learned how to embrace the life I was given, fully understanding that my happiness rests solely on what I allow and don't allow in my life. Through my own thankful journey, I learned that I was a draining soul sucker myself. I was toxic and I did not want to be that person anymore. Today, I surround myself with people who challenge me to be a better person, people who give me a reason to smile and a reason to live. 

People have the power to inspire you, or to drain you. Choose your people wisely. Choose YOU wisely. 

Until next time, my friends.....embrace the positives in life and simply let the negative go!


Think Thankfully 

Gift yourself each day with the Attitude of Gratitude!

Dear Readers,

A new day! A fresh start! Despite what happened the day before, every day you should wake up and give yourself the gift of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is all about being thankful for and appreciating the things you have in your life, everyday.  Using the gift of gratitude is easy: simply begin to value all the goodness, beauty, and love around you. This can be as breathtaking as noticing a beautiful evening sunset that looks more like a painting on canvas or as simple as the soft feel of cotton against your skin when wearing a new sweater you recently purchased.

Gratitude is a way of simplifying life and reverting to a simple state of uncomplicated, natural, pure happiness. Over a year ago, I challenged followers in my Think Thankfully Facebook page. I asked them to adopt this idea of gifting themselves an attitude of gratitude EVERY day for 30 days. Allow themselves to be grateful for the things in their every day life that may be overlooked. Start simple and let the attitude of gratitude grow. For me, it seemed like an easy challenge. Of all the followers of my page, one person took the idea and ran with it. Every single day, she posted what she was thankful for. She offered her gratitude for little things in her day, that she normally would have just dismissed as routine. You could see the build up in each post. Some days she had to dig deep (heck, don't we all at some point?!), but after the 30 days were up, she continued the ‘habit’ of posting her daily gratitude. She is one of the people I stick around on the great book of Faces for. I enjoy reading her daily gratitude and many times, it makes me take a step back and focus even that much more on my own gratitude. I’ve seen a change in this person. I hear it in her posts, I see it in her pictures. She is a far more happier person and while she still experiences roadblocks and speed bumps in her days, she sees that the goodness outweighs the negative.

THAT is what it is all about. Notice the positive and the good in your day, and soon enough, you will see the goodness and positives the world around you. Notice what’s right instead of what’s wrong, and begin to see every negative situation as an opportunity to grow into a better state of mind, and ultimately a happier, better person. Is your glass half full or half empty? Do you see the rain as a miserable day or an opportunity for new growth to flourish? Do you recognize a bird chirping as a sign of spring or a nuisance noise that just woke you from your much needed sleep?

Life is for celebrating and in noticing all the things in your life to be thankful for, you give yourself more to celebrate! Expressing gratitude, being thankful, and living your life as a celebration is a wonderful idea and if celebrated each and every day, it can become a never ending party!!! Enjoy life, use the gift of the attitude of gratitude to find ways to celebrate every day! Order flavored coffee instead of the boring blah stuff! Keep a smile on your face and then share that smile with a stranger! Skip down the hallway at work! Whistle a happy tune while in the elevator! EAT DESSERT!! Call a friend and allow yourself all the time in the world to talk!! Buy flowers for no reason! Crank the radio! SING OUT LOUD!! All these and more are great examples of celebrating life! We don’t need birthdays and holidays to limit our celebration of life! Life is to be celebrated EVERY day and in sharing your gift of the attitude of gratitude with yourself and others, you help promote thankfulness in others.

Right now, things aren’t necessarily going as I had hoped in my personal life. I’ve got some roadblocks and speed bumps of my own I am working to surmount. But, even in the midst of my trying day yesterday, the day in which I had hoped for answers and got nothing, really, even in THAT day, I was able to find things to be thankful for and to remain positive about. Sure, I allowed myself a moment to sit and cry. I’m human, remember? But at the end of the day, I was able to list things I was thankful for in THAT day. And now, that day is a memory. I won't dwell on it. I pick up and move on to today. And in this moment, I am thankful for many things. Yes, it might only be 8:30am, but I've already awoken with my attitude of gratitude. I recognize what I have to be thankful for and I will not allow myself to focus on the negative. You see,  I don’t just preach it, I practice it, too. I don’t just post things on here and then walk away and live a different life. I try real hard to live the words I write, the images I share, the advice I give. I live it. Gratitude is a way to reach your own happiness and the only way to reach that happiness is to allow yourself to accept the gift you’ve given you. The gift of the attitude of gratitude. Unwrap it! Use it! Live it every day!

Until next time, my friends……be thankful for simple things; a gift from a friend, the energy of a child, a random act of kindness, giggles and laughter, the sunshine, and even the rain!

Think Thankfully

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and more happiness!

My morning was disappointing in that I had hoped to get some answers to some health related issues that have cropped up in my life. It is because of mornings like this particular morning that I do not go to the doctor when I feel ‘some sort of way’. I know some people who are constant complainers of every single ache and pain they feel in their bodies. They run to the doctor, then complain when the doctor can’t identify the source of the pain. I don’t want to be that person, however, today, I certainly felt like I walked a mile in those shoes. I’ve got discomfort, sensitivity, and at least once a day, pain. Uncomfortable pain. After dealing with this for nearly three months, I decided to go to the doctor for the issue. After being examined, nothing definitive was decided. While it wasn’t exactly bad news, in my world, it was devastating. I sat, partially undressed (under the examination gown I was given) and listened to a doctor tell me that he wasn’t sure what the source of my pain was. Insecurities crept in, and I immediately began to think, ‘this man doesn’t believe my pain.’ My mother was along for this visit, and while I know she received a feeling of relief, I felt like my whole reason for not ever going to a doctor was completely validated.

I have no validation for my visit to the dr today. I am having testing done. I have a return visit scheduled (in three months – unless results of tests prove otherwise). And I still have pain and discomfort. Normally speaking, I would not be writing a post like this. I try to keep things positive, but in this instance, I definitely feel like it shows my human side. It shows that I, too, feel defeated at times. This being one of them.

If you know me, you know I am not one to complain. I don’t post all my aches and pains for the world to see (and trust me, there are many aches and pains I feel). I don’t utilize the book of Faces to generate pity or to garner comments galore upon my page. But today, well, today, I am feeling a bit defeated. I want to know why I am experiencing pain. I want to know why I feel discomfort. I want to know it isn’t in my head. I want to feel validated.

Today, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I wanted, but the positive side of it is, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I didn’t want. I learned I must take better care of myself. I can’t possibly take care of those around me if I, myself, am ill. So, I will keep the faith and I will wait, patiently, for results……..and accept any positive thoughts that can be sent my way! Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and definitely more happiness! And I prefer the happiness!!!

Think Thankfully!!!!

Let the whispers of your soul ROAR!

Dear Readers, 

Have you ever felt like you were being pushed, pulled, and maybe even shoved in every direction imaginable and felt as though you were simply going to just snap? Break? Fall completely apart? Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot like this, especially in my M-F daily work place. I’ve also had a lot of ‘other’ things swimming in my head, causing me to completely lose focus on the thankfulness goals I set for myself. I've forgotten what I enjoy doing FOR ME. I've forgotten what it is that makes my soul happy. Let’s explore just a little more, if you will.

Let’s face it. Jobs are stressful. I know people often say, ‘Find something you love doing and you won’t work a day in your life.’ While I am all about that idea, I also know that as much as I love my job and the wee ones I work with, many days as of late, my job stresses me out and it feels exactly like WORK. In my line of work (Special Education), I have multiple people pushing, pulling, and even shoving me in all different directions. I am at the mercy of the organization I work for, the school districts we service, the families of the children, and my own desire to be the best I can be. I seem to always have deadlines that must be met, changes to embrace, new methods to practice. I am sure you can all relate to this, regardless of the field you work in.

Add to the stress of work, we can all agree that we have personal stressors to deal with on a daily basis as well. Family requires our attention, bills require paying, and friends often require our help in one way or another. Being the type of person we are, we do everything in our power to help others before we do things for ourselves. We become so overwhelmed with the many different directions we are being tugged in, that we become all consumed by the stress and fail to recognize the little things that make life worth living! We stop Thinking Thankfully and allow the stress and negativity to take over.

Lately, I’ve felt as though I have had no real ‘me time’. Sure I like to go every two weeks to get my nails done. It’s a little bit of a pampering session JUST FOR ME. But that’s only every two weeks. My youngest daughter plays Varsity Basketball for the local high school. From November until now, my life becomes consumed with all things Basketball Mom related. I love it. But it really takes over my life and things I enjoy are put on a bit of a back burner. Yet another direction I’m being pushed, pulled, and shoved in. As I mentioned in the previous blog posting, lately I haven't been able to find time to just sit and write. Writing is my favorite method of expressing who I am. I have always enjoyed writing and have always held out the hopes that ONE DAY, one sweet day; I WILL BE a published author. I dream of being a bestselling author.  I dream a happy dream, but in the end, when the reality of the idea hits and I am forced to realize that this will probably, most definitely NEVER happen to me, I find myself wallowing in a bit of self pity, wondering why I even write in the first place. And that is no good for anyone. A happy life depends on us and no one else. We have to make the time to make ourselves happy before we can do for others and make them happy. We have to remember what makes our soul happy and then go out and do it, without worrying about anything else! Happiness has to begin with US. I enjoy writing for ME and whether or not I become someone well known because of it shouldn't matter in the end.

I guess I’ve realized that we must find that which compels our spirit and then just do it; much like writing for me. I’ve got to make the time, sit down UNINTERRUPTED, and write. Whatever flows out of me, whatever innermost whispers are struggling to be heard, I must make the time and write. I must bring a loud voice to my whispers.

Until next time…..

Think Thankfully

Writing is good for the soul

Dear Readers,

It's been quite some time since I updated this blog. Some days, I find myself longing for solitude so I can just sit and write and write and write. Other days, I have a strong desire to write and nothing wants to come out. I believe I may overwhelm myself with the idea that I have to write. I pressure myself into writing and then I am stumped as to what I want to say, what I feel is important to get out, what I wish I could say in written word. Many thoughts swirl around in my head but trying to get them out has been a true struggle. Perhaps I am frustrated over the path the publishing of Think Thankfully has taken. Perhaps I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut of neverending complacency. Perhaps I just needed a few days of negative windchills and a laptop to just really sit and focus a bit. Regardless, here we are in the midst of a new blog posting because, truth be told (and if you've followed any of my writings and ramblings, you know I believe in telling the truth to my readers!), I've wanted to write. I've always wanted to write.

A lot of things have contributed to this strong desire to write in the past few weeks. We've had so many snow days, which have left me sitting on my grandma's glider rocker, watching way too much TV. I've had a lot of moments of reflection in the past month, many of which normally bring me a lot of sadness. I've had a few encounters with someone from my past, who still has the capacity to evoke a wide range of feelings/emotions in me. I've had to reevaluate some friendships and sadly, some people have walked away from my life. Add to these things, the fact that my oldest child has found an apartment in a town 210 miles away from me in another state (but believe me, I've been preparing for this one) and is set to move at the end of next month, while my youngest is enjoying a relatively carefree life of a 17 year old, spending much of her free time with her boyfriend, and you get a glimpse of the wide range of emotion/feelings I've been struggling with. My writing urge has been strong, but I struggle with what to put down on paper.

I turn to Think Thankfully to help work through my feelings. Not everything I post upon the page is directed solely at me. Many times, I feel an overwhelming urge to post about a certain theme or idea. Later, I find someone has felt what was posted was exactly what they needed in their life. I've allowed myself the room of a Facebook page to express what I need to. Many people may think that I hide behind the 'mask' of a Facebook page because I do my very best to keep that page more universal and not personal. I keep my true identity relatively hidden on that page. While I post some personal things, rarely do I show the world who I truly am on that particular page, although it isn't much different that what is shown.

During the past three and a half years, I've learned a lot, lost a lot, gained a lot, and worked on being a better person. I've eliminated the negative from my life as much as I can. I've got a little ways to go, but all in all, the negativity has slowly disappeared from my life. I've given myself such room to express my true thoughts and feelings and in return, I feel as though I've imparted some wisdom on the 790 followers that Think Thankfully currently has. I guess, the best thing I can do, is continue on my own journey and hope that others get from it what they need.

I can tell you I'll try to be better at writing here, but I'm not sure if that is an honest admission. Perhaps, instead of giving something physical up for Lent, I will give up the excuses for not writing and dedicate myself to writing for each of the 40 days of the Lenten season. Maybe that will spark some writing fires (and maybe my writing will be noticed by people in order for it to become more of a career rather than a hobby!).

Either way, I'll do what I can. That's all I can say about that......

Until next time, 

Think Thankfully

It's Monday.....don't forget to be awesome!!!!!

Just a little reminder today! Most people dread Mondays like they dread the flu. Don't let Monday get to you! There is no law that says Mondays HAVE to suck!! Take your positive attitude and make this a Monday worth remembering!!! Don't forget to be awesome today!! 

Until next time.........

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

Sometimes we all need reminders to keep the faith and remain grateful for things in life. Not a super easy task for any of us at times. I am constantly reminding myself that it's ok to find myself in a slump, it's ok to not be perfect, it's ok to not please everyone all the time, it's ok (and normal) to have bad days.

Last May, I attended my 15th Springsteen concert. I was 10 years old when I first heard ThunderRoad and instantly fell in love with Bruce and his music. It's been a 31 year (one sided) love affair that continues to grow. Although he has no clue, Mr. Bruce Springsteen has truly been my go-to person during all my troubling times. He's helped me through many a tough time in my life.

Today, October 4. 2014 marks the 3 year anniversary of my Think Thankfully journey. Currently, I've posted 1,096 'Tonight I'm thankful for:' posts on my personal Facebook page. I haven't missed a night, no matter where I've been, who I've been with, or what I've been doing. I posted. They've become the best therapy (aside from listening to Mr. Springsteen) I could have ever attempted. Some days I've had to dig very deep to reach a level of thankfulness, but let me tell you....there haven't been many like that. I've learned that the more you have to be thankful for, the more you are given in this world. I've also started to post them on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, too, each night.

This past year has been a whirlwind for me. I've reunited with some old friends, met a lot of new friends, lost some friends, grown to 735 followers on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, and managed to do it all with a grateful heart for all I've experienced. Through it all, the ups and the downs, two people stand out in my mind who have really affected me during the past year: my dear high school friends, Keri and Ryan. Both of these friends are faced with their own challenges in life and sometimes, I believe, life can get very overwhelming for the two of them. Now, before you go assuming anything, they are NOT married to one another. Keri has a wonderful husband, Jeff, and three children. Ryan has an incredible wife, Jenny, and three children. They are both very special friends to me and I am thankful, so very thankful, to have rekindled old friendships with both of them. If I may share....... 

Last November, I challenged my Think Thankfully followers to start posting a nightly thankful post on their own Facebook pages. My friend Keri accepted the challenge. She is less than a month away from completing an entire year of thankful posts. I love to see her tell people how it has truly changed her way of thinking because let's face it...that's what it's all about!! It's been a wonderful ride, watching her whole mindset start to change from simple things each day to be thankful for, to really giving a power punch to things she's been thankful for. As many people often tell me, I look forward to her thankful posts each night!

Ryan is a very gifted writer. He is also a gifted musician. I've been privileged to be able to read some of his incredible poetry years ago when we both reconnected thanks to Facebook. He's always been a neat person in my eyes, because he has a very unique ability to put his feeling on paper and make you feel every single word of it. And I do mean that. I know Ryan struggles with some personal inner demons. During this past year, Ryan has also taken to posting more of his daily gratitudes.  Although he doesn't do it every single night, in reading Keri's nightly posts and my nightly posts, Ryan is able to really see the value of important things in his life. Recently, he posted something to the effect that he wasn't there yet but he's been working on it! That's what it's all about! Working on it!!!

Heck, I'm not completely there yet. I still have moments of self-pity, anger, frustration, heartbreak, and wondering if it's truly all worth it. In the end, the answer always remains and emphatic YES. I like who I've become on this journey. I like to be the happy person. I love thinking thankfully. I truly am blessed.

Happy Anniversary, Think Thankfully......

Until next time (which I'm going to try to be better at this year....), my friends......remember, there is always, always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for!

Positivity is the key!

I'm trying hard. Really, I am. I recently figured out what my 'problem' is lately. I've allowed someone else's constantly negative attitude start to suck the happiness and positivity out of my own attitude. Yes, you absolutely read that right. Hard to believe? Not really, if you think about it.

I'm human. It's what we do. We pump ourselves up and then with one swift movement of someone else's tongue, we allow ourselves to crumble. I've spent two and a half years working on being a more positive person and THAT quickly, in what felt like the blink of an eye, I could feel that positive foundation start to crack and then crumble.

It's hard to be around a person for a great length of time and NOT be affected by their moods and attitudes. This is one reason I began, awhile ago, to eliminate those 'toxic' people from my life. I couldn't stand to always be sucked into drama, whiny conversations, 'whoa is me' attitudes and yet, here I sit, allowing it to happen again.

There is good news though. I've recognized it earlier on this time. I can see that is what is happening to me and I DO NOT LIKE IT. I won't fib, it will be very hard to eliminate this negative force from my life, but I will do the best I can try to keep those negative words, comments, and attitudes at arm's length. I can try to keep telling myself that I am better than the negative forces that are chipping away at the happy person I've come to enjoy being. 

Starting right now…today…..I am promising myself that I will NOT allow this type of moody, negative behavior, you know the type….the toxic one, who will use his or her mood swings to intimidate and manipulate, to bring others into their own miserable world….to have ANY control in my life.  If you truly watch this Negative Nelly closely, you will notice that their attitude is overly self-referential. They cannot talk about anything other than THEIR lives, THEIR happenings, THEIR perceived wrongs. They switch conversations mid-stream if they feel they cannot add anything to what is being discussed. They try to switch the focus to their wants, their needs. The relationships they do find themselves in are prioritized according to how each one can be used to meet their selfish needs. I am officially done with this type of person. Officially over being brought down by negative forces. Positivity is the key!

Until tomorrow, my friends....eliminate that toxicity from your life and choose to see the bright side, see all that life has to offer! Be positive!

Think Thankfully!