Be thankful and STOP COMPLAINING!

One of the easiest things to ever do is to be a critic. Traffic is horrible, the weeds in my garden are a nuisance, clothing is too tight, the roads in the area are not repaired quickly enough or properly enough, the price of gas is too high, the neighbor’s dog barks too loud, the coffee is cold, or too strong, or not strong enough, the weather is too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or too dry. Complain complain complain. It’s easy to find fault with ANYONE and ANYTHING we can. And we don’t just do it in face to face meetings. We take to social media to raise the stakes of our complaints, widening the circle of who gets wrapped up in those complaints. Complaining is a bad habit that needs to be broken in order to live a happier life.

Here’s a thought for you: try to spend just ONE day as an anti-complainer. Whenever you are tempted to complain about something during the day, stop yourself, and think about whether what you are complaining about is necessary. Avoid it whenever possible. There are numerous benefits to complaining less. It shifts our focus to the positive. It allows gratitude to take root. When gratitude takes root, it will blossom and bloom into a more positive, happy life!

Let’s be perfectly clear here, I believe it is perfectly OK to vent every now and again. Venting is healthy. Venting is necessary. Venting should be a once and done event that makes you feel a whole lot better after you’ve let it go! Quite a few people often get confused by the difference between venting and complaining.

Venting is a good thing. It is simply about blowing off some steam for one reason or another.  For instance, you might need to vent after you’ve been treated poorly by a customer OR a customer service representative regarding an issue, or after a bird took a poop on your freshly washed car, OR you’ve failed a big test that you thought was rather easy.

Venting is a positive and healthy activity because there’s a clear goal involved: you are getting rid of your negative feelings (anger, frustration, etc.) about the situation and once you’re done, you let it go. It’s not about wallowing in the situation for weeks, days, or even hours. It’s quick and it’s simple: you vent about the person you’ve been dealing with or the situation at hand and then once it’s off your chest, you move on.

On the contrary, complaining is all about choosing to stay in a negative state by projecting that negativity onto someone else. Complaining, unlike venting, isn’t a temporary state of just getting it out. Complainers are typically usually stuck in a destructive pattern of needing a captive audience to serve as a dumping ground for their negative emotions. How can you recognize a constant complainer rather than a once in a while venter? It’s pretty easy, actually: you’ll know that you’re dealing with a chronic complainer if you’re afraid to strike up conversation with him/her by asking the normally innocent question(s): “Hey, how’s it going? How are you?”

Complainers will bitch and moan incessantly, usually without listening to a word that you have to say, and of course, they’ll gladly take up as much of your time as you’re willing to give to them. Worst of all, if you allow them to, they’ll end up dragging you down into their emotional baggage with you and take you right along for the miserable ride.

Stop the complaining, people! Honestly, no one wants to hear it. Think about this: when you know someone you are about to talk to is going to do nothing but complain, do you really want to stand there and talk to them? What makes you think anyone truly wants to hear YOUR complaining either? Complaining is toxic.

When my life turned around, thanks to Think Thankfully, I realized it is so much better to live in a positive place rather than the negative. Living a life filled with positivity has nothing to do with refusing to see negative events, or pretending that the negative event is not happening to us or around us. Positivity is about refusing to dwell in negativity. It’s about consciously choosing to focus on more productive and worthwhile solutions instead. Being positive is all about acknowledging the negativity, but never choosing to live there. When I decided I no longer wanted to live in the negative, I found that I no longer even wanted to be in the company of negative people, complainers, whiners. It didn’t serve me any purpose and so I wanted no part of it.

I challenged myself, each night, to find something in my day to be thankful for. Rather than complain about the events of the day, I chose to express gratitude for the good in my life. And what a life changer it was. My whole mindset changed and I realized if I could not find something good, some little piece of good, in my day, then I did something wrong in that day, because there is good in every day, if we look past the negative and find it. Complaining doesn’t get us to that goodness. STOP THE COMPLAINING!

Challenge yourself, to stop complaining! Try to go one day without uttering a true complaint. When you find yourself ready to start the uncontrollable string of complaints, just STOP. Decide whether or not it is worth the energy to even complain about. Find something positive and focus on that. Simply STOP COMPLAINING all the time! Just watch how your life can change.....for the better!

Until next time…..Think Thankfully!