2006 the year that changed my life. Happy 10 years to LIFE!

Let’s go back in time. The year was 2006. It was the year that changed everything in my life. A year I haven't talked too much about, until now...

I had not been feeling well as the year 2006 was happily rung in. I’d been having some ‘girlie’ trouble in addition to a very rocky marriage that was wearing on my very soul. Happiness seemed like a concept that happened to everyone else, just not me. In January, I had decided to do something about the way I had been feeling and I went to see the doctor, something I have very rarely done in my life, because I always associate doctors with bad news.

After rounds of exams and testing, February 21 brought me the news I never wanted to hear. I was diagnosed with non-invasive Cervical Cancer. I was a young mother, raising two daughters ages 8 and 15, and in a marriage that was heading for disaster. Just what that disaster would be happened only 4 days later when my then husband would move out, leaving me with a ton of emotional baggage that I was unsure I could handle.

From February through August, I had been having all kinds of procedures done, in hopes of eradicating the cancer and being able to move on with my life. No such luck. With every test came the results, “Sorry, you have to come back in and do this again, we just didn’t get it.” 6 months of being uncomfortable, feeling dirty, just plain yucky, all the while dealing with the start of what would be a rather nasty divorce.

It was during that 6 month period I would find my true love, my forever love, my soulmate. My current husband was like my knight in shining armor, coming to rescue me at a point in my life that I was in desperate need of being rescued. 

It was also during that 6 months, on July 10, 2006 to be exact, Dorothy Gulbenkian Blaney, who for 17 years was president of Cedar Crest College in Allentown, PA died at the age of 65, after battling cervical cancer for two years. This was a very real fear of mine. I did NOT want to die. I lived with this fear every day, but it was at that time, I decided I would do what I had to do in order to LIVE. I found out just how strong I was when faced with this very real fear.

July passed and we headed into August of 2006. I was in Disney with my parents, my daughters, and my brother and his family. It was a trip that my little brother and my parents took us on to help take my mind off of what was happening in my life. It was on this trip that I received the word from the doctor that, once again, I had to set up an appointment for more procedures because, ONCE AGAIN, the last one performed before we left for our trip, did not take care of the problem. Apparently I had a very stubborn cancer cell. What that stubborn cancer cell didn’t know was that it was residing in the body of one stubborn woman.

I did make the appointment with my doctor, but rather than have another (unsuccessful in my mind) procedure, I told the doctor it was time for surgery. I had discussed this with my mother during our trip and the choice was made. If I had a system in my body that:  1.) was stricken with cancer, making me sick and 2.) was really serving me no purpose anymore (I wasn’t having any more children), then it was time to get rid of it and become healthy again.

September 18, 2006 I had a hysterectomy and had the cancer removed from my body for good. No sign of cancer has ever returned. Today is my 10 year anniversary of that amazing decision that saved my life. September 18 can, kind of, be considered a special ‘birthday’ of sorts for me, because it was on this day that I was given that new chance at life. 2006 was the year that changed everything. I was rid of a marriage that was causing me more heartache than happiness, I was rid of cancer that was causing me to be so sick, and I found the love of my life and began a new life in a new direction. And I was able to LIVE!

Until next time….happy 10th birthday of a new life to me!

Respect. Find out what it means to me!

In light of the recent race debate going on in our country and an occurrence that happened to my husband and I last night, I decided to write this blog post today.

We decided that we would have a ‘date night’ to Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg, PA, our go-to spot for sushi and live music! Being that my husband lived in the Stroudsburg area for a number of years, he is pretty well versed in traffic patterns and parking lot traffic. As we pulled into Sarah Street’s parking lot (which is understood to be one way), we noticed a vehicle coming at us, from the wrong direction, completely blocking the way for anyone trying to get in and find a parking spot. We continued on until this car was about 30 feet from us and it was then that we noticed an out of state license plate. My husband opened the door (in which, I admit, I was very scared that whomever was in the car would become irate and maybe pull a weapon) and yelled to the driver that they were going the wrong way, motioning with his arm for them to go in reverse back out through the lot. Now, mind you, it was 9:00 and very dark outside and we had no idea if the driver was a male or female.  The opposing car did not move in reverse but rather inched forward towards us a bit, because people were trying to get OUT of their parking spots that they were now blocking. Now, the car door opened. As the opposite car’s door opened, my husband opened his door, too. At this point, I remained relatively calm, but I was a tad more scared as a larger black man stepped out of the car and started walking towards us. My heart was thumping.

I am NOT a prejudiced person by any means, and I completely blame the rash of media attention to the perceived inequalities of race in this country for my ‘fear’. That being said, this man walked towards our car as my husband  stepped out of our car. My husband is a big guy, rough looking…a biker dude…tattooed and goatee….he’s intimidating (but really a teddy bear). I thought, “Oh great….here goes a confrontation that isn’t going to end well.” I braced myself for the worst in this situation, a slew of news headlines starting flashing through my head.......

And then it happened. As he approached our car, the man began apologizing profusely to us (looking behind our car as the line waiting to get in got longer and stretched out to the street) and said he never saw that it was a one way lot. He kept repeating over and over that he was just looking for a spot to park so he could go in and grab a beer! My husband and this man laughed together and exchanged niceties, with my husband saying, “Not a problem, man! Just park it so we can all get moving along!”

The man parked his car, we parked next to him, and walked into the establishment together, almost as if we had been friends forever. We ended up sitting next to him at the bar, buying him his drinks for his parking lot troubles, and made a new friend when the night was over. Phone numbers were exchanged, deep sea fishing trips were discussed, and a lot of laughs happened between the three of us during the evening.

As this whole episode was unfolding, it was apparent that this man was bracing himself for a confrontation (perhaps due to the color of his skin? perhaps because my husband looked like he'd be an angry biker dude? - another wrongful stereotype - but those are assumptions on my part.) and was ready to defend himself if necessary. However, in the world we live in, we don’t care what color your skin is. That’s the way it should be everywhere. We care about what you are like as a person. If you are an asshole to us, we can be that way, too. If you approach and react in a threatening manner, you will get that back. If you treat us with respect and kindness, that is what you get back from us in return. And that is exactly what happened here.

As we talked with Clint, our new friend, a new stereotype was brought to my attention and I was happy to know I didn’t fit the mold. He was actually more afraid of ME. Imagine that. The world in which he lives, women tend to fly off the handle and become the aggressor in situations. He was looking at calm Bill and seeing me in the passenger seat, just waiting for me to fly off the handle at the situation. Part of me was offended that simply because I was a woman, this was the perceived stereotype. Get to know people before you stereotype them. Male/female….black/white/tan/orange…..young/old. Underneath it all, we all have a heart. And a heart knows no stereotype.

I truly believe that there really is no race issue in this country. There is a HUGE disrespect issue in this country and in allowing jackass multi-million dollar athletes to continue in their ridiculous ‘protests’, we are only enabling the disrespect that is shown here. It’s time to look around and call it what it is. It is a choice and consequence issue, regardless of the color of your skin. If you choose to act in a disrespectful manner, then be ready for the consequences that befall you. Regardless of the color of your skin, obey the law, follow rules, listen to police and people in authority (even if you believe they are wrong….there’s a time to sort all that out and make your case known without defying them at the moment). Remember, we only see what the media presents to us. Please give it some thought before you try to justify kneeling for the National Anthem of the United States of America.

 

Until next time…..Think Thankfully

Live your dream, Babygirl

Well, today is the day I've been dreading since May 25. Today, we make the 4 1/2 hour trek across the great state of PA to prepare for college move-in day tomorrow. On May 25, this day seemed like a long way off, a whole summer's worth of time to enjoy together. Now, here we are. August 24 and I am not ready. I know I have to be, but I'm not. I'm definitely putting on my Mama Bear Britches and wearing the stiff upper lip, but deep down I feel a bit sullen.

When my oldest went to college 9 hours and 4 states away, I wasn't sure I could handle that at all. She had been such a major part of my life for 18 years and I wasn't sure I knew how to go on being a mom to someone who was so far away. I needed to feel needed by her. Luckily, she did need me as the many phone calls proved. Luckily, I had my Babygirl (who was 7 years younger than her sister) to help ease the loneliness of having my Firstborn so far away.

Those years that my oldest spent in college and then grad school, gaining more and more independence, helped create an even closer relationship with my youngest. Truth be told, she became my best friend. I could still be Mom....strict and rule setting, but I would much rather have gone shopping, to the movies, to football games, etc with her than with anyone else. 9 years of being together and having so much fun.......

Today, we make the 4 1/2 hour trek across the great state of PA to prepare for college move-in day tomorrow. I know her future is bright. I know that she will do great things, because it seems to be in my children's genes to go out and conquer the worlds in which they live. I know she will be homesick (and I'll be kid-sick, too). I know she will make new friends (but keep those old friendships) and will start to branch out into new and exciting adventures. I know that our lives will forever be changed from this day forward, but I also know that the love a mother has for her children never fades.

These will be some of the best years of your life. I know you've relied on your sister for some sage advice on the college years. Listen to her. Follow her advice. She had an amazing college experience and I want the same for you. I won't give you much advice as you prepare for this new journey, but I will give you all the love and support a mother can muster!!! I'm always a phone call/FaceTime chat away.


I am extremely proud of you! 6 years will fly by in the blink of an eye! Make the best of this time! 

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

My Wish

Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you wanna go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you live,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah, yeah.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish (my wish, for you).

This is my wish (my wish, for you)

I hope you know somebody loves you (my wish, for you).

May all your dreams stay big (my wish, for you)

Until next time.....Think Thankfully

The Moving Wall.....a moving experience

2016 Copyright Photography by Lynn, Palmerton PA

From July 21 - July 25, 2016, the little town of Palmerton, PA will be hosting The Moving Wall, the 1/2 size replica of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington DC. Available 24 hours a day (yes 24 hours a day) for visitation in the beautiful borough park, this is a must see, must experience event. (Sponsored by the Palmerton United Veterans Organization)

Now....a bit of ramblings from me regarding this event.


Last summer, my parents and I went to a nearby township to view this replica. Amazing is the only way I can describe what you see. Amazing. I was so glad to learn that the little town where I live (well, the neighboring town, but we are all one big community here) would be hosting The Moving Wall this summer. The time is now.


Last evening, I attended the opening ceremonies of the event with my family, and what felt like everyone else in the community. Our beautiful park was FILLED with people, paying homage to those who served and never returned from one of the most misunderstood conflicts in US History. It was a wonderful ceremony, presided over by Master of Ceremonies, George H Duell (Retired 1996 Colonel, USAR; Counterpart Post Commander Fort Indiantown Gap, PA; First US Army Military Liaison Officer to the Reserve Components of Pennsylvania; Division Chief, Policy & Plans, Army Public Affairs, The Pentagon; Commander 127th R & D Det (AMC) 79th USARCOM Pennsylvania  - let that sink in), who was my high school principal during my tenure at PHS. Of all the speakers, who offered some insight, two stick out in my mind and heart. Palmerton Mayor Chris Olivia, spoke from the heart about what it meant to have The Wall in his borough's park. Speaking of his own tour in Veitnam, losing one of his closest military friends on the battlefield, and his pride in the town, Mr Olivia held nothing back as he delivered his remarks. Atty Steven Vlossak, the featured speaker, served in Vietnam and was instrumental in getting The Wall to our town. His words, his memories, his passion drove me to do what I did today.....


I woke up this morning and didn't really feel like sitting around my house. I got dressed and headed to the town park, to visit with The Wall before it would get flooded with people. Let me tell you, at 9:30 this morning it was WELL FULL of people, paying respects, sharing stories, shedding tears, and praying. I sat on a bench for about a half hour just taking it all in. Thinking of my dear friend and former principal Mr. Steve Kitsmiller, who served in Vietnam and who shared horrific stories with me of his time served and his 'un'-welcome home. I sat on the bench and I cried. The tears flowed freely as I thought of the men and women who went off to this foreign land to fight in a conflict/war that they didn't ask for, and then were either killed, missing in action, or treated so poorly upon their return home. I cried for them and I cried for their friends and family.


After sitting, I decided to walk The Wall and recognize Jack Geoghegan, as I always do at The Wall. I then approached a volunteer and asked how I could go about volunteering my time to read names. See, the committee decided that during this event, EVERY SINGLE NAME on that wall would be read aloud in our park. I stood and read through pages of the 'M' list. 45 minutes of standing, reading off names, welcoming them home. My emotions got the best of me a few times as I read off the names, but it was while I was reading, I decided to take Mr. Vlossak's words and follow through. I decided that in addition to Jack Geoghegan, I would also start to recognize the last name I happened to read on the list when my 'shift' was up.


Being the inquisitive history 'nerd' I am, I decided to come home and research Sgt Arthur Runnells Moody III. the last name I read today.


Sgt Arthur R Moody III, 22 years old, from St Petersburg FL. Born 8/8/1943. Killed 11/17/1965. Awards: ★ National Defense Service Medal ★ Combat Infantryman Badge ★ Purple Heart ★ Vietnam Campaign Medal ★ Vietnam Service Medal. Location on wall: Panel 03E Line 086. (just below Jack Geoghegan).


The body of Sgt Moody was recovered and is located in the East Elfers Cemetery, New Port Richey Florida. I was hard pressed to find more information about him, but that will not stop me from honoring his memory on his birthday, his death day, and any time I am fortunate enough to see any of The Walls. He was one of the soldiers who fought in the Ia Drang Valley, which is featured in the movie We Were Soldiers, a somewhat ironic turn of events considering the connection I feel to that movie due to Mr. Kitsmiller. While We Were Soldiers dealt primarily with the 1st Cav division, I found out that Sgt Moody was in the 2nd Cav division in that area and died along side 152 others during the 'event' of his death. The event as part of the major group IA DRANG LZ X-RAY & ALBANY: LZ ALBANY, 7 KM EAST-NORTHEAST OF CHU PRONG MOUNTAIN (HILL 732) 19651117. The listed causes of his death: A1-H-7 (A1 = Hostile, died outright. H = Multiple fragmentation wounds. 7 = Ground casualty).


To say that visting The Moving Wall is an experience, does not fully express just WHAT it is. It is a MOVING experience. I truly believe we all need to visit something like this in our lifetime, simply to witness the raw emotion, hear the stories, and allow the voices to echo in the wind.


I am so thankful to the committee that brought this to our community. I am so thankful I was able to volunteer even a little of my time. I am so thankful to be afforded the opportunity to live in this country and honor the veterans of our country in this way.


Until next time.....Welcome home, Sgt Arthur Runnells Moody III and 2LT John Lance Geoghegan. Thank you for your service and sacrifice.

College already? It can't possibly be that time!

As I sit here in the quiet of the morning, listening to the birds chirping outside, I can't help but start to get a bit weepy at the prospect of what will be happening in my life in just a little over 30 days. College. The big move in day.


I remember, well, the day my Babygirl was born. I remember her first days of pre-school, elementary school, junior high school, and high school. When did the time slip so far from my grasp? It seems like it was just yesterday we were stressing over high school sports and classes and now....I seem to be the only one stressing over what comes next.


Babygirl, as you head off to college, I want you to remember some important things......


1. This is NOT high school.  This is not a free education. Ultimately, there is a hefty price to pay to attend college. No one will be making sure you are up for your classes (unless you have an awesome roommate!), making sure you are studying enough, making sure projects and presentations are done, it is all up to you now. YOU are expected to take responsibility for what you do and don't do and in the end, are responsible for the consequences of your choices.


2. Put yourself out there. While I know you have your goals and priorities all well established, please remember that you CAN get involved. Get to know people. Not everyone is like your high school classmates. People CHOOSE college and so they want to be there, too. Join those clubs that may sound corny, pledge a sorority, take a class just for the fun of it, challenge yourself to try new things! True college life will happen outside room 213!!!


3. Organization will be key to your success. Keep a planner or a detailed calendar of classes and due dates!!! Make sure as you organize your time, you leave room for the fun stuff. Schedule library time, where it is just you and the books! Become good at list making. Prioritize assignments and activities. I won't be there to give you the reminders I always did (even though you were well ahead of schedule in most of your due dates!). Take advantage of all the things that college has to offer.


4. Don't compare yourself to anyone else.  I know throughout your school years, you've often been in your sister's shadow, feeling like people would tell you what she did or didn't do. As you enter college, remember YOU are YOU. Don't compare yourself to anyone. Stay true to YOU. Your way of studying may be way different than your roommate and that is OK! She may be better at one class than you are and that is OK! When you graduate, YOUR name is on that diploma! Work hard to make YOU proud of YOU, because I already am!!


5. Please make an effort to keep in touch. Believe it or not (and I know you will believe this), you being away at college will be harder on me than it will be on you. Oh I know you may get homesick and want to come home (maybe....maybe not), but being here in this house without you day in and day out will be the toughest experience of my life. Not having you to talk to at the end of the day will most certainly break me a bit. You were my rock when your sister went away to college, making that transition a bit easier for me. This time it is just me. PLEASE make an effort to keep in touch. I will do my best to not be calling you every day, no matter how strong the urge, but it won't mean I don't want to talk to you! Phone calls, FaceTime, emails, SnapChats! I'm up for it all.


This will be a getting used to for all of us. Me, You, Bill, Grandma, Pappy. All of us will go through this weird stage for a little while. As you prepare for college, please remember that "My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish."


Best of luck, my Babygirl. I love you more than words could ever express. Rock on.


Until next time......

Hope is Delicious

I was deeply saddened to awaken Sunday morning to the news of the latest senseless act of violence in Orlando, Florida. I simply cannot wrap my head around how or why people choose to hurt one another in such violent ways. After a week of being sickened by the news reports of the Stanford Rapist, I was in need of some serious soul rejuvenation. I woke up Sunday morning, hoping my day was shaping up to be just that, a soul rejuvenating day.

And then it happened.

My friend Beth and I traveled to Red Bank, New Jersey to dine at Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation’s Soul Kitchen. For those who do not know, JBJ Soul Kitchen is a non-profit Community Restaurant, run by the JBJ Soul Foundation, that serves paying and in-need customers.  JBJ Soul Foundation encourages paying customers to effect change by donating $20 which covers the cost of your meal and beverages and helps defray the cost of meals for our in-need volunteers.  If you are unable to pay for your meal, you can volunteer at JBJ Soul Kitchen as your payment. One hour of volunteer time earns a dining certificate that feeds the volunteer and up to 4 family members. Pay It Forward.

I’ve heard so much about this initiative and dining at this community restaurant was a bucket list item of mine, but really, I was not sure what I expected, it just wasn’t what I experienced. We arrived at Soul Kitchen a bit early and took a little walk around the neighborhood. Years ago, my aunt and uncle were married in Red Bank (although I was there, I don’t remember much about the town or what it looked like). When we got back to the restaurant, we were greeted by an older gentleman, who appeared to be a local who benefitted from the meals provided at Soul Kitchen.

Being the type of person I am (my grandma always said I could strike up a conversation with ANYONE), I engaged in conversation with this man. We chatted about the Civil War, the state of Virginia (does anyone know if the JAG headquarters is in Falls Church, because he owns every season on DVD and he swears that’s where its located), all the train stops between Red Bank and NYC, and the fact that his mother wouldn’t like where he spends some of his time (and that’s something I promised would remain our secret). While he probably wouldn’t have been the most appealing person one would want to strike up a conversation with, to me, the Champion of the Underdog, he made my day. I wish I had asked him his name, but I was so taken by his conversation with me, that it felt as though we had been friends forever.

After about 15 – 20 minutes of chatting and waiting, our names were called and we were invited inside Soul Kitchen. What a wonderful experience from start to finish. We were seated at a beautifully set table (with fresh cut flowers) and our waitress began going over the menu for the three-course Sunday Brunch. The choices were plentiful. I decided upon a fresh salad, Olive and Pesto encrusted Cod with rice and beans, and the strawberry compote and angel food cake option. Beth had a cold linguini salad with fresh kale, garlic, and white beans. The food was absolutely fantastic. Everyone was so friendly and the atmosphere was heavy with happiness and gratitude. We sat at a table with two younger girls (I later found out one was soon to be graduating and heading to Rutgers University and her sister was a freshman in high school) and their grandparents. It was wonderful getting to know them, as well! If I thought I was a grateful person prior to my visit, my gratitude exploded by a thousand after my visit.

The charge per person to dine at Soul Kitchen is $20. $10 is for your meal and $10 is to pay it forward and provide a meal for a volunteer/community member who was unable to pay for their meal (I was humbled enough to make an extra $10 donation, realizing how lucky I am, even if times can be tough for me, too.). Truly a small price to pay for the amazing service provided. I’m not even kidding when I say that this whole experience will stay with me for a long time to come.

Sure it would have been the icing on my cake to have seen Mr Jon Bon Jovi, himself, at Soul Kitchen, but in reality, I am glad he wasn’t there (although Beth might disagree). I think the celebrity status of seeing him might have taken some of the truly humbling feel to my experience NOT to say I wouldn’t love to see him on a future visit.

Despite the fact that on this particular Sunday, the world in which we live was once again rocked and riddled with terror, violence, and lives lost, my day turned into one of the best experiences and truly renewed some of my faith in humanity. If just a few more people would spread kindness, would pay it forward, each day; if people would be more willing to think thankfully and not be afraid to show their gratitude towards others, perhaps the world around us would become a far better place to live.

Until next time....

An open letter to my Babygirl as she gets ready to graduate high school

                                      Kindergarten                   Senior Year

An open letter to my Babygirl as she gets ready to graduate high school

May 2016

Dear Erika Nichole,

Graduation is coming! We are about 10 days away! Hard to believe, isn't it? Since I can’t buy you a brand new car for graduation or take you to Disney as a graduation present (which is what I really wish I could have done!!!), what I can do is this. I can write to you. I can put my feelings and thoughts into words. Writing comes easier than finding the money to buy you all you deserve in life. And sometimes a little note means more than material things, right?


First and foremost, I love you more than words could ever convey. You are MY daughter, and I am constantly in awe and amazed by you. Always and forever, to the moon and back. There have been so many times over the years that I’ve wished I had more to offer you than simply my pride and love. I know you don’t mind that, but still, it is my wish.  Along with your sister, you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me.


In a few short days you will be graduating from PHS, something your grandmother did 50 years ago, I did 25 years ago, your uncle did 20 years ago, and your sister did 7 years ago. It truly doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked you up the hill to the town bus stop and watched as you boarded the big yellow bus and headed off to Kindergarten. Where has the time gone? As much as I thought I was ready, I realize I am NOT prepared for this day, and yet here it comes.


It has been so much fun watching you grow up, try new things, and live your life to the fullest. You’ve done so many things that have made me insanely proud to call you MY daughter. I’ve enjoyed taking this journey with you, although I wish the path wasn’t as hard as it sometimes was. We’ve been through a lot, you and me, but yet, here we are…..almost ready for you to take the next big leap into adulthood. I’d like to think that some of the adventures we've taken, the people we've met along the way and the awesome places I have had the privilege of sharing with you had an impact on you and helped shape you into the amazing person you are today. I also believe that our amazing family has had some positive examples for you as well, starting with your incredible older sister.


In the past 7 years, since Alyssa went off to school and left us to grow together, I seemed to have blinked and somehow missed the part where you stopped being my little girl (although you will ALWAYS be my Babygirl) and started becoming a young adult, and it yet, here you are, 18 and all grown up, about to graduate high school. The young woman I see before me is really an amazing person with a bright future ahead of her, and I will do everything in my power to help see to it you stay that way!!


As you prepare to head off to college, and start living life without me right by your side, there are a few things I need you to know: no matter what anyone ever says, you are perfect just exactly as you are; you have a perseverance about you that is admirable, you just NEVER give up and that is a great trait to have, especially with what you will be studying in college; there is a whole new world out there! Don’t be afraid to go and explore it; do what makes you happy! Find your passions and do them; and always trust the little voice in your head when it speaks to you, it's your very own Jiminy Cricket...your voice of reason!


Life is about to get very real for you. I won’t always be right there to tell you what to do….but I’ll always be a phone call, text message, email away. While I can’t buy you all that you deserve, I can give you all my love, unconditionally, for the rest of your life. I love you right up to the moon……and back.


I am so proud of you and I cannot wait to see what your future holds for you.


Love,
Mom

A friendship forever connected to the Purple Rain (a Prince Tribute)

It’s April 21, 2016. I woke up this morning fully aware of this particular date. I dread April 21 every year since 2007.Today was no different. I dreaded this day. It was gearing up to be a disaster in so many ways. If I could have crawled back into bed and not gotten out until April 22, I probably would have. But alas, I got up and went about my day.

My students were outside enjoying gym class and I got an alert on my phone. “TMZ reports musical artist, Prince, dead.” WHAAAAT? I opened the link, immediately took a screen shot, and sent it to my daughters. I felt like I needed to share this with someone, and the one person I wanted to share the news with has her Facebook limited with not being able to post to her wall. My oldest daughter, wisely, said, “wait til someone other than TMZ reports it”, but I had this sinking feeling happening.  I was floundering. Hoping this was, indeed, a cruel rumor running rampant through the internet, I immediately began to ‘fact check’ if this was accurate. I did post a status on my personal Facebook page declaring: “2016, You suck. That is all.”

Of course, the typically positive and happy me was met with a combination of comments from other ‘just as surprised’ friends and those who always expect me to be happy and positive. Of course 2016 was good to me so far. My daughter got married and my other daughter will be graduating from high school and starting college this year, but let’s be real here folks. 2016 has been a CRAPPY year for people in the entertainment business. Today, 2016 took from this world an incredibly talented artist. And that makes me sad.

I remember being 11 or 12 years old, sleeping over at my best friend Heather’s house, and watching Purple Rain on either VHS or Beta (whatever it was in ‘84/’85). I remember feeling so grown up, and yet like I was doing something so illegal. It was the first time I’d ever seen sex and drugs on tv. And it became a forever connection with my oldest, dearest, bestest friend of about 40 years. Purple Rain. Whenever one of us heard that song in a random place, we’d let the other know. It is our connection song.  I could belt out the lyrics and sing it with heart and soul. When I got home from school today, I immediately went to youtube to watch as much Prince as I could, starting with Purple Rain.

Prince. He was larger than life. Eccentric. Talented. Gifted. He was PRINCE. I often thought it was awesome that he could simply go by his first name (and yes, people, his given name was Prince. Prince Rogers Nelson.). He was Prince! Even when he went through the stage where he was a symbol and then the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, he was PRINCE. Maybe I always felt the connection to him and his music because of our obvious love of the color purple. Maybe it was because I always appreciated that he was so unique. Maybe it was because his songs always made me want to move. Maybe it was because as a pre-teen, he could probably be credited for creating the rebel in me. Who knows. All I do know, is that I truly feel the loss of this man, without ever meeting him (or him even knowing who the hell I am in this universe).

2016 has been a terrible year for the entertainment industry, and Prince’s passing is just another to add to the ever growing list this year. Perhaps it is a sad realization that I’m not as young as I thought I was and with that fact comes the knowledge that I’m going to start seeing this trend in actors, musicians, artists, entertainers as the years move along. As long as Springsteen stays off the list, my sanity may remain in tact.

Until next time.....Think Thankfully

Be thankful and STOP COMPLAINING!

One of the easiest things to ever do is to be a critic. Traffic is horrible, the weeds in my garden are a nuisance, clothing is too tight, the roads in the area are not repaired quickly enough or properly enough, the price of gas is too high, the neighbor’s dog barks too loud, the coffee is cold, or too strong, or not strong enough, the weather is too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or too dry. Complain complain complain. It’s easy to find fault with ANYONE and ANYTHING we can. And we don’t just do it in face to face meetings. We take to social media to raise the stakes of our complaints, widening the circle of who gets wrapped up in those complaints. Complaining is a bad habit that needs to be broken in order to live a happier life.

Here’s a thought for you: try to spend just ONE day as an anti-complainer. Whenever you are tempted to complain about something during the day, stop yourself, and think about whether what you are complaining about is necessary. Avoid it whenever possible. There are numerous benefits to complaining less. It shifts our focus to the positive. It allows gratitude to take root. When gratitude takes root, it will blossom and bloom into a more positive, happy life!

Let’s be perfectly clear here, I believe it is perfectly OK to vent every now and again. Venting is healthy. Venting is necessary. Venting should be a once and done event that makes you feel a whole lot better after you’ve let it go! Quite a few people often get confused by the difference between venting and complaining.

Venting is a good thing. It is simply about blowing off some steam for one reason or another.  For instance, you might need to vent after you’ve been treated poorly by a customer OR a customer service representative regarding an issue, or after a bird took a poop on your freshly washed car, OR you’ve failed a big test that you thought was rather easy.

Venting is a positive and healthy activity because there’s a clear goal involved: you are getting rid of your negative feelings (anger, frustration, etc.) about the situation and once you’re done, you let it go. It’s not about wallowing in the situation for weeks, days, or even hours. It’s quick and it’s simple: you vent about the person you’ve been dealing with or the situation at hand and then once it’s off your chest, you move on.

On the contrary, complaining is all about choosing to stay in a negative state by projecting that negativity onto someone else. Complaining, unlike venting, isn’t a temporary state of just getting it out. Complainers are typically usually stuck in a destructive pattern of needing a captive audience to serve as a dumping ground for their negative emotions. How can you recognize a constant complainer rather than a once in a while venter? It’s pretty easy, actually: you’ll know that you’re dealing with a chronic complainer if you’re afraid to strike up conversation with him/her by asking the normally innocent question(s): “Hey, how’s it going? How are you?”

Complainers will bitch and moan incessantly, usually without listening to a word that you have to say, and of course, they’ll gladly take up as much of your time as you’re willing to give to them. Worst of all, if you allow them to, they’ll end up dragging you down into their emotional baggage with you and take you right along for the miserable ride.

Stop the complaining, people! Honestly, no one wants to hear it. Think about this: when you know someone you are about to talk to is going to do nothing but complain, do you really want to stand there and talk to them? What makes you think anyone truly wants to hear YOUR complaining either? Complaining is toxic.

When my life turned around, thanks to Think Thankfully, I realized it is so much better to live in a positive place rather than the negative. Living a life filled with positivity has nothing to do with refusing to see negative events, or pretending that the negative event is not happening to us or around us. Positivity is about refusing to dwell in negativity. It’s about consciously choosing to focus on more productive and worthwhile solutions instead. Being positive is all about acknowledging the negativity, but never choosing to live there. When I decided I no longer wanted to live in the negative, I found that I no longer even wanted to be in the company of negative people, complainers, whiners. It didn’t serve me any purpose and so I wanted no part of it.

I challenged myself, each night, to find something in my day to be thankful for. Rather than complain about the events of the day, I chose to express gratitude for the good in my life. And what a life changer it was. My whole mindset changed and I realized if I could not find something good, some little piece of good, in my day, then I did something wrong in that day, because there is good in every day, if we look past the negative and find it. Complaining doesn’t get us to that goodness. STOP THE COMPLAINING!

Challenge yourself, to stop complaining! Try to go one day without uttering a true complaint. When you find yourself ready to start the uncontrollable string of complaints, just STOP. Decide whether or not it is worth the energy to even complain about. Find something positive and focus on that. Simply STOP COMPLAINING all the time! Just watch how your life can change.....for the better!

Until next time…..Think Thankfully!

A picture is worth a thousand words (or 4 generations, at least)

If you've read the most recent of my blogs (since I fell off the blogging bandwagon a little bit ago), you are aware that my oldest daughter was recently married to the love of her life. In the blog that was posted about the wedding, I spoke of how much I missed my grandparents and had wished they could have been physically present at their great granddaughter's wedding. I didn't fib. That is true. I miss them terribly and if I could have had one wish for my daughter's wedding day, it would have been to spend just THIS day with my Grandma Marilyn, Pappy Lester, and Pappy Wip. Just to have THOSE three back for just one more day.....

But that's not the purpose of this blog today. Today, I want to talk about the picture right up ^there ^! Truth be told, I heard my daughter talking to the photographer about the 'special' picture she wanted. Having no idea what it was, I really didn't pay much attention to the rest of the conversation. I figured she knew what she was doing (since everything was looking perfect up to that point).

While three of my grandparents had a different vantage point of this big day, one very special lady WAS physically present at the wedding. My last living grandparent, Alyssa's GREAT-Grandmother LaRue, in all her 87 years of absolute beauty, was sitting front row, as proud as I've ever seen her! My Gram is truly one of my life's biggest blessings.

I feel like I can identify with her, to a degree. No, I'm not even close to 87 years old (although sometimes I feel it), but my Gram and I have many likenesses, many shared experiences. The year was around 1957. LaRue Rehrig was married and had 5 beautiful little girls, ranging in age from 12-3 years old, when her husband decided he didn't want to be married to her anymore. And he left. My Gram, the strongest woman I know, was left to care for her five girls pretty much on her own, doing what she could and what she had to in order to keep a roof over their heads. That lasted for about 3 years (ish), until my grandfather, my Pappy Wip, came into the picture and 'rescued' my Gram and her girls. Pap brought with him my Uncle Rod, Uncle Fred, and eventually, my Aunt Deb. It was like an early version of the Brady Bunch. And it worked. And they loved each other deeply for the next 50 some years (although they were only married part of that time). And together, they built a legacy! My stepson made the comment at Alyssa's wedding that SHE, my GRAM, was solely responsible for more than half the people at the wedding. He pretty much wasn't kidding. And she was soooooo proud to be there.

In a parallel life, years later, I found myself married with 2 beautiful girls, when my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. I did the best I could to be the best mother to my girls during some very tough times, much like my Gram did for her girls. Eventually, the love of my life came along and he rescued me and my girls. And we love each other deeply (and will for a long time to come)! And together, we are working on our legacy.

So, when Lynn, the amazing photographer at the wedding (Photography by Lynn, check her out!), called for me, my Mom, and my Gram to come over to her and Alyssa, I assumed we were getting a 4 generation picture together in the church. I was slightly wrong. My daughter wanted a generational picture of our hands, with our wedding rings, atop her bouquet. The result is what you see here. And this picture means so much to me, and my Mom. These hands represent years of love. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is priceless. My Grandma's hands have worked hard in her life and she has given us all a fine example of unconditional love. She loves entirely, deeply, and equally. She is a true blessing. She is my Gram.

Until next time.......Think Thankfully!

The Golden Rule

Treat others how you wish to be treated. This concept has been swirling around my head a lot lately. This is, after all, the GOLDEN RULE, right?

This ‘Golden Rule’ goes far beyond simply being nice to people, or going out of your way to be helpful to those who find themselves in need. Of course, you would want others to help you out if you happen to find yourself in a pinch. I have also found that there are many ways to follow this ‘rule’ that may go completely unnoticed by others. Treating others the way you wish to be treated is simply about adjusting your views and attitudes.

Say what? Think about it. Instead of just treating others the way you would want to be treated, think about others the way you would want others to think about you. Honestly feel about others the way you would want others to feel about you. Speak to others the way you would want to be spoken to or spoken of. Respect others the way you would want to be respected in return.

When you treat others with the kind of respect that you would like to be treated with, you are helping to give them the opportunity to be the best possible person they can. If you treat others how you would want to be treated, it will be very apparent that people will like being around you and will be more likely to help you out in any situation, since they know that you would do the same for them. However, this is NOT always easy, especially when you are continually taken advantage of, taken for granted.

The 'rule' of treating others as you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes, will ultimately lead to your own happiness. It isn’t difficult to implement the ‘Golden Rule’ in your interactions with other people. Begin by helping your neighbors, treating your family with kindness, go the extra mile for your co-workers, or help a stranger who can never repay you. All those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to, BUT you’ll also notice something else: People will start to treat you better too, most assuredly. However, it goes far beyond that. You will soon find a growing sense of satisfaction in yourself, a more profound belief in yourself, a confident knowledge that you are a good person and an undoubted trust in yourself. It really is as simple as it sounds.

Lately, I’ve seen how this idea has fallen by the wayside. People are so entitled anymore. They feel as though the world (and perhaps everyone in it) owes them. Owes them what? People always tend to see the worst in others without seeing it in themselves, first. By nature, people want to be treated with respect, but many times they themselves are not very respectful to others. We’ve all encountered those people in our lives. The concept: to treat others the way you expect others to treat you, may be one of the 'golden rules' in life, but many people choose to ignore this simple idea. Basically what it comes down to is this: people should not expect to be treated any different than the way they treat people themselves.

People will give you what you give to them, so why expect anything different? If you find yourself NOT liking the way that you have been treated lately, step back and rethink the way you are treating others, there may be a connection between the two.

Until next time….Think Thankfully

Love never fails.....April 9, 2016

The Rewind:

25 years ago, I brought a beautiful 8 pound 1 ounce baby girl into this world. She had a head full of dark hair and the bluest of blue eyes when she was born. I was younger than most new moms and at 17 years old, holding a baby in my arms, I began to truly worry what the future would look like. It was a worry that never left my system. I knew that from the start the odds were stacked against us and we would have to do all we could to defy them. I believe we did. I did my best, with the help of my amazing family, to raise a strong, confident girl in this crazy crazy world. I do believe I succeeded beyond ALL expectations.

The Fast Forward:

I won’t bore anyone with all the wonderful memories I have of my Alyssa growing up. Most of it centers around her being captain of her cheerleading squad, becoming a world traveler, a high school top 10% student, an honor student in college (550 miles away from home), and then graduating from a prestigious college for her Masters Degree. A lot happened between 1990 and 2013.

This past weekend, my firstborn daughter got married! To say I was prepared for this might be a slight lie. I thought I was, but I really wasn’t. When she was a little girl, I often wondered what her wedding day would look like, since our situation was so different from everyone else’s.

When Vincent entered her life, as her mother, I truly knew this would be the man she’d share the rest of her life with. They complimented each other so well. They were meant to be. It was never a forced or awkward moment when the two of them came around, so it was only natural that over Memorial Day Weekend 2015, when Vincent found my husband and I sitting in the living room alone, he took the opportunity and asked our permission to propose to our daughter. Of course, we granted permission and then we patiently waited (well, my husband patiently waited, I was anxiously waiting) for the big day!

And that day came on June 19. Taken by complete surprise, my daughter became engaged at the Air Force Memorial in Washington DC and the fun of planning a wedding began. The date was set. And so it began……

Alyssa and Vincent planned the most amazing wedding. Again, I always envisioned myself helping my daughter along in the planning stages of her big day, but I raised an independent gal. She and her fiancé tackled the task of planning a wedding all on their own.

From the date: April 9, 2016 to the venue: All Saints Catholic Church/Bristow Manor Golf Club, the two of them were in charge of their entire day. They chose the flowers (GORGEOUS!), the cupcakes (DELICIOUS), and who they wanted to share their day with (PERFECT GUEST LIST!!!!) And what a beautiful day it was.

We traveled to Manassas, Virginia on Thursday, April 7, in order to start getting ourselves immersed in the area and to offer any help that Lys and Vin might need for their big day. We watched the weather forecasts (which were all calling for SNOW in Virginia on April 9), did some sightseeing, and welcomed all the invited friends and family members as they, too, began arriving for the big day! There were friends and family from Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, West Virginia, Maryland, New York, and probably other places I am neglecting to remember at this moment.

The day of my daughter’s wedding, I woke up early; too early, like 3:30 in the morning early. As the dawn was beginning to break around 6:30, I looked out the hotel window and it was so overcast coupled with snow and rain/sleet. My heart sank. I decided to jump in the shower so I wouldn’t feel so rushed getting myself prepared to head to her house, even though I didn’t have to be there til 10. I stood in the shower and the tears poured from my eyes. I cried for so many reasons. My daughter was getting married. It was the crappiest weather in the SPRING. And I missed my grandparents who were no longer with us. How I wished they could be there. How proud they would have been to see their first great grandchild walking down the aisle. And I cried. I begged for anyone listening to give us a break in the weather. I could handle cold and I could handle wind. I did not want the rain ruining my daughter’s day, even though she was prepared for it. Alyssa went out and bought herself some really cute rain boots and a clear HUGE golf-like umbrella, totally prepared for whatever Mother Nature was going to throw at her! She was prepared. I still didn’t want rain on her day anymore. I know rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck. It rained. It needed to stop.

As the morning progressed, I had my make-up and hair done and I was ready to head to my daughter’s home to help her any way I could with getting ready to go to the church. The rain/snow mixture was still around. My heart sank a little more.

Arriving at my daughter’s, the bridesmaids were all getting ready. I brought the flower girls and together, they all began to jump into wedding mode. My daughter arrived from the salon, where they turned her full head of hair into the most beautiful Disney princess hair I have ever seen!!!! She started putting on her make-up and WOW. In the blink of an eye, I saw my baby transform into a beautiful bride. The weather started breaking. The sky was still full of clouds but there were blue patches coming through. The rain/snow stopped and I just knew it was a little bit of my grandparents helping this day be even more perfect! Again, I was reminded how much of an independent woman my daughter had become. I really wasn’t ‘needed’ at my daughter’s house, but I was so thankful to be there, to be watching it all come together, because when that one moment came that I heard: “Mom, can you come up here and help me a minute.” I smiled the biggest smile and remembered SHE IS MY DAUGHTER and although she is so independent, she still needed me.

It was decided that my daughter and I would get our dresses on at the church, just in case the weather decided to change again. Around 12:30 we headed for the church. I took the flower girls and Vincent’s aunt, who helped the flower girls (one of whom was her daughter) get ready! And by 1:10 we were at the church. It was really happening!

I was so thankful that the rain had stopped. We walked into the bridal suite in the church and the sun was actually shining through the windows in the suite. I got dressed, and then it was Alyssa’s turn. My eyes misted at the sight of my daughter, in her beautiful classic, vintage-looking lace bridal gown, but I did not cry. I was too happy to cry. The photographer came in and took a lot of pictures (I cannot wait to see them all!!!!!). I decided to head out to the lobby and see my husband and let the girls all to themselves in the room with Alyssa.

Alyssa’s bridal party consisted of her sister as Maid of Honor, her best friend from college as a bridesmaid, as well as her Zeta Tau Alpha little as a bridesmaid, too. Alyssa’s goddaughter was one of the flower girls as well as one of Vincent’s cousins. I decided to give the 6 of them time alone to get ready for the big event.

When I returned to the room, I found a penny on the floor of the room, near the bench where all of Alyssa’s things were placed. It was the final sign I needed from my grandparents that THEY had their hand in all that turned out good in this day.

Our moment had arrived and the wedding was beginning. I was ready to walk my daughter down the aisle to the man of her dreams. As her mom, I struggled with this whole ‘giving her away’ idea, for my own VERY personal reasons, reasons that do not need to be written on these pages. As she and I neared the entrance to the church, I could feel the emotions building up. We turned to face the sanctuary and all I remember was the intense pride I felt at seeing everyone they invited, smiles on their faces. We took our cue and went to the top of the aisle, took our little pause, and I looked at my daughter and asked: “Are you ready for this?” She looked my square in the eye, smiled, and said, “Let’s go!” I remember looking down the aisle, seeing my husband’s HUGE smile looking at us and then I saw Vincent’s HUGE smile looking at Alyssa. From that point on, all I could do was smile myself. I walked her down the aisle, hugged my soon to be son-in-law and told him to take care of my girl. I turned, hugged and kissed my daughter, and then took my seat to witness this beautiful wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was out of this world. Beautiful venue, great food and drinks, an out of this world band, and EVERYONE gathered in one place celebrating the new Mr. and Mrs. P!!!!! The moment of the Father/Daughter dance arrived and it was the most beautiful tribute to two of the most important men in Alyssa’s life. The band started playing Stand By Me and my dad began the dance with Alyssa. Halfway through the dance, my amazing husband, who has been such a great influence in her life as her stepfather, cut in and ended the dance with her. It was beautiful and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was perfect. It was as it needed to be. The reception was so filled with laughter and friendship. So many people. So much love. Such a perfect day. A wedding for the ages.

And in a few short hours of time, I went from Mother of the Bride, to Mother-in-law! I promise to be a good one.

Mr. and Mrs. Vincent S. Prinzivalli

April 9, 2016

Dancing their first dance to:

You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne

Until next time....Think Thankfully