In light of
the recent race debate going on in our country and an occurrence that happened
to my husband and I last night, I decided to write this blog post today.
We decided
that we would have a ‘date night’ to Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg, PA, our go-to spot for sushi and live music! Being
that my husband lived in the Stroudsburg area for a number of years, he is
pretty well versed in traffic patterns and parking lot traffic. As we pulled
into Sarah Street’s parking lot (which is understood to be one way), we noticed a vehicle coming at us, from the
wrong direction, completely blocking the way for anyone trying to get in and
find a parking spot. We continued on until this car was about 30 feet from us
and it was then that we noticed an out of state license plate. My husband opened the door (in
which, I admit, I was very scared that whomever was in the car would become
irate and maybe pull a weapon) and yelled to the driver that they were going
the wrong way, motioning with his arm for them to go in reverse back out through the lot. Now, mind you, it was 9:00 and very dark outside and we had no
idea if the driver was a male or female.
The opposing car did not move in reverse but rather inched forward towards us a bit, because people
were trying to get OUT of their parking spots that they were now blocking. Now, the car door opened. As the
opposite car’s door opened, my husband opened his door, too. At this point, I
remained relatively calm, but I was a tad more scared as a larger black man
stepped out of the car and started walking towards us. My heart was thumping.
I am NOT a
prejudiced person by any means, and I completely blame the rash of media
attention to the perceived inequalities of race in this country for my ‘fear’.
That being said, this man walked towards our car as my husband stepped out of our car. My husband is a big
guy, rough looking…a biker dude…tattooed and goatee….he’s intimidating (but
really a teddy bear). I thought, “Oh great….here goes a confrontation that isn’t
going to end well.” I braced myself for the worst in this situation, a slew of news headlines starting flashing through my head.......
And then it happened. As he approached our car, the man began apologizing profusely to us (looking behind our car as the line
waiting to get in got longer and stretched out to the street) and said he never
saw that it was a one way lot. He kept repeating over and over that he was just
looking for a spot to park so he could go in and grab a beer! My husband and
this man laughed together and exchanged niceties, with my husband saying, “Not
a problem, man! Just park it so we can all get moving along!”
The man
parked his car, we parked next to him, and walked into the establishment
together, almost as if we had been friends forever. We ended up sitting next to
him at the bar, buying him his drinks for his parking lot troubles, and made a
new friend when the night was over. Phone numbers were exchanged, deep sea fishing trips were discussed, and a lot of laughs happened between the three of us during the evening.
As this whole episode was unfolding, it was
apparent that this man was bracing himself for a confrontation (perhaps due to
the color of his skin? perhaps because my husband looked like he'd be an angry biker dude? - another wrongful stereotype - but those are assumptions on my part.) and was ready to
defend himself if necessary. However, in the world we live in, we
don’t care what color your skin is. That’s the way it should be everywhere. We
care about what you are like as a person. If you are an asshole to us, we can
be that way, too. If you approach and react in a threatening manner, you will
get that back. If you treat us with respect and kindness, that is what you get
back from us in return. And that is exactly what happened here.
As we
talked with Clint, our new friend, a new stereotype was brought to my attention
and I was happy to know I didn’t fit the mold. He was actually more afraid of
ME. Imagine that. The world in which he lives, women tend to fly off the handle
and become the aggressor in situations. He was looking at calm Bill and seeing
me in the passenger seat, just waiting for me to fly off the handle at the
situation. Part of me was offended that simply because I was a woman, this was
the perceived stereotype. Get to know people before you stereotype them.
Male/female….black/white/tan/orange…..young/old. Underneath it all, we all have
a heart. And a heart knows no stereotype.
I truly
believe that there really is no race issue in this country. There is a HUGE
disrespect issue in this country and in allowing jackass multi-million dollar
athletes to continue in their ridiculous ‘protests’, we are only enabling the disrespect
that is shown here. It’s time to look around and call it what it is. It is a
choice and consequence issue, regardless of the color of your skin. If you
choose to act in a disrespectful manner, then be ready for the consequences
that befall you. Regardless of the color of your skin, obey the law, follow
rules, listen to police and people in authority (even if you believe they are
wrong….there’s a time to sort all that out and make your case known without
defying them at the moment). Remember, we only see what the media presents to
us. Please give it some thought before you try to justify kneeling for the
National Anthem of the United States of America.
Until next
time…..Think Thankfully
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