A random-when-the-mood-strikes-me blog that promotes the idea of living a life of gratitude rather than grumble. Looking at things that lift you up, rather than always focusing on what has knocked you down! Thinking thankfully for your daily blessings! OR whatever else comes to mind!
Just a little reminder today! Most people dread Mondays like they dread the flu. Don't let Monday get to you! There is no law that says Mondays HAVE to suck!! Take your positive attitude and make this a Monday worth remembering!!! Don't forget to be awesome today!!
Lately, the song by Imagine Dragons called Demons has been on replay in my head. "Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide." We all have an inner demon that must be fought/battled and
controlled. I’ve been battling mine off and on for quite some time. The journey
I am on through Think Thankfully has helped me fight/control my inner
demon, that every so often make an appearance and ALMOST sidetrack me and
knock me off the path to being happier with myself.
My inner demon is the part of me that stops me from being
able to accept the person I am, the person I have become, the person who is
here, in the present, living what she thinks of as her best life ever! Don’t get me wrong, I am not a miserable shell of a human being, I am not
depressed, I am not all about the ‘pity me’ routine that so many people get
caught up in. Oh, I most certainly like myself more than not, but I constantly
feel like I am not as good as I could be. I always want to be better and I try
improve myself. I have a hard time acknowledging when I feel I am good at
something. I simply battle the demons who creep on in and try to brainwash me
into thinking I am not good enough.
This past week, my demons came pretty close to winning the
battle. You see, I am married to an incredible man. He loves me despite my
flaws and my constant feelings of not being good enough for him. This week, I
let myself believe that because I have gained a little bit (and really, it's only a little bit) of weight back, my
husband didn’t want me anymore. I felt like he was doing everything in his power to avoid me. Oh, I know, without a doubt, this is not true,
but it was a horrible struggle between what my demons were whispering in my
ears and trying to infiltrate in my heart and what I absolutely knew to be
true. I let the busy nature of his job, the fact that he is always tinkering around and fixing things around here, and my being a tad bit under the weather be the open door for those little whispers of negativity that could have created a very bad situation for me and my husband. I made the choices in what I believed to be true and what I knew to be true. It's a tough road to be on when those little whispers seem like screams.
What I've learned on this journey to being more positive is that once we truly begin to know ourselves and accept ourselves,
flaws and all, can we keep those demons far away from us. We can start to take back the power. This
journey to being more thankful and more positive is a constantly evolving
journey. I don’t believe I will ever reach the end of it, because each day I
change. We all do. We are constantly changing people and in changing, we
sometimes let our guards down. I have to be aware every day of the good in my
life, the things to be grateful for. I fight
demons every day by focusing on what I do like about myself. I seize each day
and the little things to be thankful for and slowly I have been gaining
self-acceptance in the process. Our demons know that we are weak. We allow them the power to control us. We choose what we believe to be true versus what we know to be true. "But with the beast inside, there’s nowhere we can hide."
Starting today, believe a little more in yourself. Concentrate on what you KNOW to be true and stop believing the whispers that try to make you feel anything less than comfortable and happy!!
Until next time, my friends....
"Demons"
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
At the curtain’s call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made
Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Sometimes we all need reminders to keep the faith and remain grateful for things in life. Not a super easy task for any of us at times. I am constantly reminding myself that it's ok to find myself in a slump, it's ok to not be perfect, it's ok to not please everyone all the time, it's ok (and normal) to have bad days. Last May, I attended my 15th Springsteen concert. I was 10 years old when I first heard ThunderRoad and instantly fell in love with Bruce and his music. It's been a 31 year (one sided) love affair that continues to grow. Although he has no clue, Mr. Bruce Springsteen has truly been my go-to person during all my troubling times. He's helped me through many a tough time in my life. Today, October 4. 2014 marks the 3 year anniversary of my Think Thankfully journey. Currently, I've posted 1,096 'Tonight I'm thankful for:' posts on my personal Facebook page. I haven't missed a night, no matter where I've been, who I've been with, or what I've been doing. I posted. They've become the best therapy (aside from listening to Mr. Springsteen) I could have ever attempted. Some days I've had to dig very deep to reach a level of thankfulness, but let me tell you....there haven't been many like that. I've learned that the more you have to be thankful for, the more you are given in this world. I've also started to post them on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, too, each night. This past year has been a whirlwind for me. I've reunited with some old friends, met a lot of new friends, lost some friends, grown to 735 followers on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, and managed to do it all with a grateful heart for all I've experienced. Through it all, the ups and the downs, two people stand out in my mind who have really affected me during the past year: my dear high school friends, Keri and Ryan. Both of these friends are faced with their own challenges in life and sometimes, I believe, life can get very overwhelming for the two of them. Now, before you go assuming anything, they are NOT married to one another. Keri has a wonderful husband, Jeff, and three children. Ryan has an incredible wife, Jenny, and three children. They are both very special friends to me and I am thankful, so very thankful, to have rekindled old friendships with both of them. If I may share....... Last November, I challenged my Think Thankfully followers to start posting a nightly thankful post on their own Facebook pages. My friend Keri accepted the challenge. She is less than a month away from completing an entire year of thankful posts. I love to see her tell people how it has truly changed her way of thinking because let's face it...that's what it's all about!! It's been a wonderful ride, watching her whole mindset start to change from simple things each day to be thankful for, to really giving a power punch to things she's been thankful for. As many people often tell me, I look forward to her thankful posts each night! Ryan is a very gifted writer. He is also a gifted musician. I've been privileged to be able to read some of his incredible poetry years ago when we both reconnected thanks to Facebook. He's always been a neat person in my eyes, because he has a very unique ability to put his feeling on paper and make you feel every single word of it. And I do mean that. I know Ryan struggles with some personal inner demons. During this past year, Ryan has also taken to posting more of his daily gratitudes. Although he doesn't do it every single night, in reading Keri's nightly posts and my nightly posts, Ryan is able to really see the value of important things in his life. Recently, he posted something to the effect that he wasn't there yet but he's been working on it! That's what it's all about! Working on it!!! Heck, I'm not completely there yet. I still have moments of self-pity, anger, frustration, heartbreak, and wondering if it's truly all worth it. In the end, the answer always remains and emphatic YES. I like who I've become on this journey. I like to be the happy person. I love thinking thankfully. I truly am blessed. Happy Anniversary, Think Thankfully...... Until next time (which I'm going to try to be better at this year....), my friends......remember, there is always, always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for!
