A little 1978 country inspiration......tell me you aren't singing out loud!

Dear Readers,

I’m starting out this blog entry with a little disclaimer: if you do not like country music, stop reading right now! I have managed to change this entry many times today; more than you could ever imagine. It was not until I looked at my personal Think Thankfully post on the great book of Faces from last night, that the ultimate inspiration hit me!

If you are (or have ever been) a fan of country music (and even if you aren't or never have been), I'd be willing to bet you have heard Kenny Rogers’ famous song The Gambler. Many songs tell a story (if they are a good song that is) and The Gambler is no different. In this particular song, we have a young guy who’s down on his luck and ends up sitting next to an experienced old gambler on a train "bound for nowhere". The premise of the story is that the two tend to take turns staring out the window for awhile, when the tension between the two is broken and the experienced old gambler 'clues' the young traveler in that he has made a life out of 'reading people's faces'. The Gambler is able to tell that the young man next to him is pretty down on his luck, or 'out of aces' as the song describes. For a simple taste of whiskey (and a bummed cigarette and light), he is willing to offer his sage advice to his young traveling companion and it is at this point I believe everyone sings along when they hear the chorus ring out:

“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em

Know when to fold ‘em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run

You never count your money

When you’re sittin’ at the table

Cuz there’ll be time enough for counting

When the dealin’s done”

One of the hardest parts of life, is knowing when to cut your losses. Knowing when to hold ‘em, fold  ‘em, walk away, or run. Yesterday was not a good day for me. It was a day filled with ultimate frustrations. Lately, I have been feeling more and more that I need a change of scenery. I allow too many things to get the best of me. I've lost my ability to 'shake it off' when I feel I'm not doing the best I can. In my line of work, the average burnout rate is 3-5 years. I have been at it for 18. Being the best in the classroom is something I work hard at and something I pride myself in. I don’t believe in quitting. Quitting is not an option for me. Being strong enough to know that I’m becoming ineffective and that perhaps it is time to walk away, is an admission I am not afraid to make. I understand myself well enough to know when I am more than capable of mustering through some frustrations, or when it’s best to just fold and walk away.

A wise person commented on my thankful status, saying, “Just make sure you know where you are running to!” This is the hard part. I know what I want. I know what I love, what I enjoy. I know where I want to run to, but actually being able to is an entirely new story. After posting my nightly status, a friend of mine sent me a video in which she said, "Hey! Did you have a bad day? I'm sorry. There's no reason to be upset because you have lots of friends and family who love you and accept you for who you are! You do what you have to do. You'll know when that time is right. Just know this: I LOVE YOU!" I sat and cried. As much as I help many people through their frustrations, people help me through mine!! (A little laughter goes a long way, too!!!)

Have no fear, I am not feeling down in the dumps, depressed, sad, or extremely defeated (ok, maybe just a little defeated, but not extremely so!). I simply know my limits and know that I must make a change in order to feel energized again. The wonderful thing about writing is that I can get my feelings out and help to get things into perspective. 

Until next time, my friends....just remember, the "secret to survivin' is knowing what to throw away, and knowing what to keep".

Think Thankfully!

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers (1978)