It has been a very trying week, hence the lack of blog postings. It is hard to write positively when you don't feel so positive yourself. I thought I could conquer this feeling, but it has been festering all week until this morning.
My daughter's boyfriend sent me a SnapChat video last night. While I was already asleep when it was sent and didn't get it til this morning, once I saw it, I knew there was a reason for that happening. Now, while I am not sure he meant to send it to me, I like to think he sees my Facebook posts and is quite intuitive to what's going on in my little corner of the world here in Pennsylvania. Once I saw it was a video, I eagerly waited for it to load so I could watch. Secretly, I was hoping it was another humorous one with one of his instrument students (he's a band director/instrumental music teacher - and a darn good one, too!). Not at all. It may not have been what I was expecting, but it was just what I needed. As the video starts, it is him, lip synching to the most perfect part of Mariah Carey's song, Hero....."So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong." WOW. Just what this Momma needed this morning as I enter day 4 of what could be hell on earth.
Hope. A simple 4 letter word. HOPE. Yup, count them, 4 letters long.
HOPE (hōp) :
noun
1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to
happen.
"he looked through her belongings in the hope of coming
across some information"
synonyms: aspiration,
desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, goal, plan, design;
2. a person or thing that may help or save someone.
"their only hope is surgery"
3. grounds for believing that something good may happen.
"he does see some hope for the future"
synonyms: hopefulness,
optimism, expectation, expectancy; More
antonyms: pessimism
4. a feeling of trust.
verb
1.want something to happen or be the case.
"he's hoping for an offer of compensation"
synonyms: expect,
anticipate, look for, be hopeful of, pin one's hopes on, want;
Hope. Hope is a belief that circumstances in the future will be
better. It's NOT simply a wish that things will get better, but an actual belief, even
when there may be no evidence that anything will change, that things will be better. Hope can encompass a
wide variety of beliefs -- everything from an athlete hoping for that college scholarship to a cancer patient hoping for a cure. Hope is the word we hear over anything.
Believe it or not, hope wasn’t always considered a good
thing. Back in earlier times, poets and writers dismissed the concept of hope as a
cruel joke of higher beings. To them, it was an illusion that lured gullible, dimwitted people
to believe in a better future, only to let them down in the end. To them, and
they wrote about it, hope was just another word for disappointment, being let down, a falsity of man.
To a sailor lost at sea, a small blip of light in the distance is hope of soon being back on solid ground. To the woman longing for a child, hope is the news that she is finally pregnant. To the serviceman or woman, hope is word that they are finally coming home from a years long deployment. And to me, hope is that reminder to look inside myself for the strength I need to get through whatever it is I am facing in these last days of the school year.
It hasn't been easy these past few days and at one point, I truly gave up hope. I gave up feeling as if anything good would happen for me. Not anymore, thanks to my daughter's boyfriend. I am facing today and each of the remaining 45 days with all the hope in the world that I WILL make it through this school year, I WILL be the best I can be, and I WILL call this year a success. Hope rests inside me. Who is anyone else to take that hope away from me. Hope is NOT a disappointment, it is the fire that drives me to keep pushing forward when everything else is pushing against me. Hope is the reminder to look inside myself and be strong. I am the hero of my own life!
Until tomorrow, my friends.....
Think Thankfully!
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