A friendship forever connected to the Purple Rain (a Prince Tribute)

It’s April 21, 2016. I woke up this morning fully aware of this particular date. I dread April 21 every year since 2007.Today was no different. I dreaded this day. It was gearing up to be a disaster in so many ways. If I could have crawled back into bed and not gotten out until April 22, I probably would have. But alas, I got up and went about my day.

My students were outside enjoying gym class and I got an alert on my phone. “TMZ reports musical artist, Prince, dead.” WHAAAAT? I opened the link, immediately took a screen shot, and sent it to my daughters. I felt like I needed to share this with someone, and the one person I wanted to share the news with has her Facebook limited with not being able to post to her wall. My oldest daughter, wisely, said, “wait til someone other than TMZ reports it”, but I had this sinking feeling happening.  I was floundering. Hoping this was, indeed, a cruel rumor running rampant through the internet, I immediately began to ‘fact check’ if this was accurate. I did post a status on my personal Facebook page declaring: “2016, You suck. That is all.”

Of course, the typically positive and happy me was met with a combination of comments from other ‘just as surprised’ friends and those who always expect me to be happy and positive. Of course 2016 was good to me so far. My daughter got married and my other daughter will be graduating from high school and starting college this year, but let’s be real here folks. 2016 has been a CRAPPY year for people in the entertainment business. Today, 2016 took from this world an incredibly talented artist. And that makes me sad.

I remember being 11 or 12 years old, sleeping over at my best friend Heather’s house, and watching Purple Rain on either VHS or Beta (whatever it was in ‘84/’85). I remember feeling so grown up, and yet like I was doing something so illegal. It was the first time I’d ever seen sex and drugs on tv. And it became a forever connection with my oldest, dearest, bestest friend of about 40 years. Purple Rain. Whenever one of us heard that song in a random place, we’d let the other know. It is our connection song.  I could belt out the lyrics and sing it with heart and soul. When I got home from school today, I immediately went to youtube to watch as much Prince as I could, starting with Purple Rain.

Prince. He was larger than life. Eccentric. Talented. Gifted. He was PRINCE. I often thought it was awesome that he could simply go by his first name (and yes, people, his given name was Prince. Prince Rogers Nelson.). He was Prince! Even when he went through the stage where he was a symbol and then the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, he was PRINCE. Maybe I always felt the connection to him and his music because of our obvious love of the color purple. Maybe it was because I always appreciated that he was so unique. Maybe it was because his songs always made me want to move. Maybe it was because as a pre-teen, he could probably be credited for creating the rebel in me. Who knows. All I do know, is that I truly feel the loss of this man, without ever meeting him (or him even knowing who the hell I am in this universe).

2016 has been a terrible year for the entertainment industry, and Prince’s passing is just another to add to the ever growing list this year. Perhaps it is a sad realization that I’m not as young as I thought I was and with that fact comes the knowledge that I’m going to start seeing this trend in actors, musicians, artists, entertainers as the years move along. As long as Springsteen stays off the list, my sanity may remain in tact.

Until next time.....Think Thankfully

Be thankful and STOP COMPLAINING!

One of the easiest things to ever do is to be a critic. Traffic is horrible, the weeds in my garden are a nuisance, clothing is too tight, the roads in the area are not repaired quickly enough or properly enough, the price of gas is too high, the neighbor’s dog barks too loud, the coffee is cold, or too strong, or not strong enough, the weather is too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or too dry. Complain complain complain. It’s easy to find fault with ANYONE and ANYTHING we can. And we don’t just do it in face to face meetings. We take to social media to raise the stakes of our complaints, widening the circle of who gets wrapped up in those complaints. Complaining is a bad habit that needs to be broken in order to live a happier life.

Here’s a thought for you: try to spend just ONE day as an anti-complainer. Whenever you are tempted to complain about something during the day, stop yourself, and think about whether what you are complaining about is necessary. Avoid it whenever possible. There are numerous benefits to complaining less. It shifts our focus to the positive. It allows gratitude to take root. When gratitude takes root, it will blossom and bloom into a more positive, happy life!

Let’s be perfectly clear here, I believe it is perfectly OK to vent every now and again. Venting is healthy. Venting is necessary. Venting should be a once and done event that makes you feel a whole lot better after you’ve let it go! Quite a few people often get confused by the difference between venting and complaining.

Venting is a good thing. It is simply about blowing off some steam for one reason or another.  For instance, you might need to vent after you’ve been treated poorly by a customer OR a customer service representative regarding an issue, or after a bird took a poop on your freshly washed car, OR you’ve failed a big test that you thought was rather easy.

Venting is a positive and healthy activity because there’s a clear goal involved: you are getting rid of your negative feelings (anger, frustration, etc.) about the situation and once you’re done, you let it go. It’s not about wallowing in the situation for weeks, days, or even hours. It’s quick and it’s simple: you vent about the person you’ve been dealing with or the situation at hand and then once it’s off your chest, you move on.

On the contrary, complaining is all about choosing to stay in a negative state by projecting that negativity onto someone else. Complaining, unlike venting, isn’t a temporary state of just getting it out. Complainers are typically usually stuck in a destructive pattern of needing a captive audience to serve as a dumping ground for their negative emotions. How can you recognize a constant complainer rather than a once in a while venter? It’s pretty easy, actually: you’ll know that you’re dealing with a chronic complainer if you’re afraid to strike up conversation with him/her by asking the normally innocent question(s): “Hey, how’s it going? How are you?”

Complainers will bitch and moan incessantly, usually without listening to a word that you have to say, and of course, they’ll gladly take up as much of your time as you’re willing to give to them. Worst of all, if you allow them to, they’ll end up dragging you down into their emotional baggage with you and take you right along for the miserable ride.

Stop the complaining, people! Honestly, no one wants to hear it. Think about this: when you know someone you are about to talk to is going to do nothing but complain, do you really want to stand there and talk to them? What makes you think anyone truly wants to hear YOUR complaining either? Complaining is toxic.

When my life turned around, thanks to Think Thankfully, I realized it is so much better to live in a positive place rather than the negative. Living a life filled with positivity has nothing to do with refusing to see negative events, or pretending that the negative event is not happening to us or around us. Positivity is about refusing to dwell in negativity. It’s about consciously choosing to focus on more productive and worthwhile solutions instead. Being positive is all about acknowledging the negativity, but never choosing to live there. When I decided I no longer wanted to live in the negative, I found that I no longer even wanted to be in the company of negative people, complainers, whiners. It didn’t serve me any purpose and so I wanted no part of it.

I challenged myself, each night, to find something in my day to be thankful for. Rather than complain about the events of the day, I chose to express gratitude for the good in my life. And what a life changer it was. My whole mindset changed and I realized if I could not find something good, some little piece of good, in my day, then I did something wrong in that day, because there is good in every day, if we look past the negative and find it. Complaining doesn’t get us to that goodness. STOP THE COMPLAINING!

Challenge yourself, to stop complaining! Try to go one day without uttering a true complaint. When you find yourself ready to start the uncontrollable string of complaints, just STOP. Decide whether or not it is worth the energy to even complain about. Find something positive and focus on that. Simply STOP COMPLAINING all the time! Just watch how your life can change.....for the better!

Until next time…..Think Thankfully!

A picture is worth a thousand words (or 4 generations, at least)

If you've read the most recent of my blogs (since I fell off the blogging bandwagon a little bit ago), you are aware that my oldest daughter was recently married to the love of her life. In the blog that was posted about the wedding, I spoke of how much I missed my grandparents and had wished they could have been physically present at their great granddaughter's wedding. I didn't fib. That is true. I miss them terribly and if I could have had one wish for my daughter's wedding day, it would have been to spend just THIS day with my Grandma Marilyn, Pappy Lester, and Pappy Wip. Just to have THOSE three back for just one more day.....

But that's not the purpose of this blog today. Today, I want to talk about the picture right up ^there ^! Truth be told, I heard my daughter talking to the photographer about the 'special' picture she wanted. Having no idea what it was, I really didn't pay much attention to the rest of the conversation. I figured she knew what she was doing (since everything was looking perfect up to that point).

While three of my grandparents had a different vantage point of this big day, one very special lady WAS physically present at the wedding. My last living grandparent, Alyssa's GREAT-Grandmother LaRue, in all her 87 years of absolute beauty, was sitting front row, as proud as I've ever seen her! My Gram is truly one of my life's biggest blessings.

I feel like I can identify with her, to a degree. No, I'm not even close to 87 years old (although sometimes I feel it), but my Gram and I have many likenesses, many shared experiences. The year was around 1957. LaRue Rehrig was married and had 5 beautiful little girls, ranging in age from 12-3 years old, when her husband decided he didn't want to be married to her anymore. And he left. My Gram, the strongest woman I know, was left to care for her five girls pretty much on her own, doing what she could and what she had to in order to keep a roof over their heads. That lasted for about 3 years (ish), until my grandfather, my Pappy Wip, came into the picture and 'rescued' my Gram and her girls. Pap brought with him my Uncle Rod, Uncle Fred, and eventually, my Aunt Deb. It was like an early version of the Brady Bunch. And it worked. And they loved each other deeply for the next 50 some years (although they were only married part of that time). And together, they built a legacy! My stepson made the comment at Alyssa's wedding that SHE, my GRAM, was solely responsible for more than half the people at the wedding. He pretty much wasn't kidding. And she was soooooo proud to be there.

In a parallel life, years later, I found myself married with 2 beautiful girls, when my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. I did the best I could to be the best mother to my girls during some very tough times, much like my Gram did for her girls. Eventually, the love of my life came along and he rescued me and my girls. And we love each other deeply (and will for a long time to come)! And together, we are working on our legacy.

So, when Lynn, the amazing photographer at the wedding (Photography by Lynn, check her out!), called for me, my Mom, and my Gram to come over to her and Alyssa, I assumed we were getting a 4 generation picture together in the church. I was slightly wrong. My daughter wanted a generational picture of our hands, with our wedding rings, atop her bouquet. The result is what you see here. And this picture means so much to me, and my Mom. These hands represent years of love. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is priceless. My Grandma's hands have worked hard in her life and she has given us all a fine example of unconditional love. She loves entirely, deeply, and equally. She is a true blessing. She is my Gram.

Until next time.......Think Thankfully!

The Golden Rule

Treat others how you wish to be treated. This concept has been swirling around my head a lot lately. This is, after all, the GOLDEN RULE, right?

This ‘Golden Rule’ goes far beyond simply being nice to people, or going out of your way to be helpful to those who find themselves in need. Of course, you would want others to help you out if you happen to find yourself in a pinch. I have also found that there are many ways to follow this ‘rule’ that may go completely unnoticed by others. Treating others the way you wish to be treated is simply about adjusting your views and attitudes.

Say what? Think about it. Instead of just treating others the way you would want to be treated, think about others the way you would want others to think about you. Honestly feel about others the way you would want others to feel about you. Speak to others the way you would want to be spoken to or spoken of. Respect others the way you would want to be respected in return.

When you treat others with the kind of respect that you would like to be treated with, you are helping to give them the opportunity to be the best possible person they can. If you treat others how you would want to be treated, it will be very apparent that people will like being around you and will be more likely to help you out in any situation, since they know that you would do the same for them. However, this is NOT always easy, especially when you are continually taken advantage of, taken for granted.

The 'rule' of treating others as you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes, will ultimately lead to your own happiness. It isn’t difficult to implement the ‘Golden Rule’ in your interactions with other people. Begin by helping your neighbors, treating your family with kindness, go the extra mile for your co-workers, or help a stranger who can never repay you. All those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to, BUT you’ll also notice something else: People will start to treat you better too, most assuredly. However, it goes far beyond that. You will soon find a growing sense of satisfaction in yourself, a more profound belief in yourself, a confident knowledge that you are a good person and an undoubted trust in yourself. It really is as simple as it sounds.

Lately, I’ve seen how this idea has fallen by the wayside. People are so entitled anymore. They feel as though the world (and perhaps everyone in it) owes them. Owes them what? People always tend to see the worst in others without seeing it in themselves, first. By nature, people want to be treated with respect, but many times they themselves are not very respectful to others. We’ve all encountered those people in our lives. The concept: to treat others the way you expect others to treat you, may be one of the 'golden rules' in life, but many people choose to ignore this simple idea. Basically what it comes down to is this: people should not expect to be treated any different than the way they treat people themselves.

People will give you what you give to them, so why expect anything different? If you find yourself NOT liking the way that you have been treated lately, step back and rethink the way you are treating others, there may be a connection between the two.

Until next time….Think Thankfully

Love never fails.....April 9, 2016

The Rewind:

25 years ago, I brought a beautiful 8 pound 1 ounce baby girl into this world. She had a head full of dark hair and the bluest of blue eyes when she was born. I was younger than most new moms and at 17 years old, holding a baby in my arms, I began to truly worry what the future would look like. It was a worry that never left my system. I knew that from the start the odds were stacked against us and we would have to do all we could to defy them. I believe we did. I did my best, with the help of my amazing family, to raise a strong, confident girl in this crazy crazy world. I do believe I succeeded beyond ALL expectations.

The Fast Forward:

I won’t bore anyone with all the wonderful memories I have of my Alyssa growing up. Most of it centers around her being captain of her cheerleading squad, becoming a world traveler, a high school top 10% student, an honor student in college (550 miles away from home), and then graduating from a prestigious college for her Masters Degree. A lot happened between 1990 and 2013.

This past weekend, my firstborn daughter got married! To say I was prepared for this might be a slight lie. I thought I was, but I really wasn’t. When she was a little girl, I often wondered what her wedding day would look like, since our situation was so different from everyone else’s.

When Vincent entered her life, as her mother, I truly knew this would be the man she’d share the rest of her life with. They complimented each other so well. They were meant to be. It was never a forced or awkward moment when the two of them came around, so it was only natural that over Memorial Day Weekend 2015, when Vincent found my husband and I sitting in the living room alone, he took the opportunity and asked our permission to propose to our daughter. Of course, we granted permission and then we patiently waited (well, my husband patiently waited, I was anxiously waiting) for the big day!

And that day came on June 19. Taken by complete surprise, my daughter became engaged at the Air Force Memorial in Washington DC and the fun of planning a wedding began. The date was set. And so it began……

Alyssa and Vincent planned the most amazing wedding. Again, I always envisioned myself helping my daughter along in the planning stages of her big day, but I raised an independent gal. She and her fiancé tackled the task of planning a wedding all on their own.

From the date: April 9, 2016 to the venue: All Saints Catholic Church/Bristow Manor Golf Club, the two of them were in charge of their entire day. They chose the flowers (GORGEOUS!), the cupcakes (DELICIOUS), and who they wanted to share their day with (PERFECT GUEST LIST!!!!) And what a beautiful day it was.

We traveled to Manassas, Virginia on Thursday, April 7, in order to start getting ourselves immersed in the area and to offer any help that Lys and Vin might need for their big day. We watched the weather forecasts (which were all calling for SNOW in Virginia on April 9), did some sightseeing, and welcomed all the invited friends and family members as they, too, began arriving for the big day! There were friends and family from Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, West Virginia, Maryland, New York, and probably other places I am neglecting to remember at this moment.

The day of my daughter’s wedding, I woke up early; too early, like 3:30 in the morning early. As the dawn was beginning to break around 6:30, I looked out the hotel window and it was so overcast coupled with snow and rain/sleet. My heart sank. I decided to jump in the shower so I wouldn’t feel so rushed getting myself prepared to head to her house, even though I didn’t have to be there til 10. I stood in the shower and the tears poured from my eyes. I cried for so many reasons. My daughter was getting married. It was the crappiest weather in the SPRING. And I missed my grandparents who were no longer with us. How I wished they could be there. How proud they would have been to see their first great grandchild walking down the aisle. And I cried. I begged for anyone listening to give us a break in the weather. I could handle cold and I could handle wind. I did not want the rain ruining my daughter’s day, even though she was prepared for it. Alyssa went out and bought herself some really cute rain boots and a clear HUGE golf-like umbrella, totally prepared for whatever Mother Nature was going to throw at her! She was prepared. I still didn’t want rain on her day anymore. I know rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck. It rained. It needed to stop.

As the morning progressed, I had my make-up and hair done and I was ready to head to my daughter’s home to help her any way I could with getting ready to go to the church. The rain/snow mixture was still around. My heart sank a little more.

Arriving at my daughter’s, the bridesmaids were all getting ready. I brought the flower girls and together, they all began to jump into wedding mode. My daughter arrived from the salon, where they turned her full head of hair into the most beautiful Disney princess hair I have ever seen!!!! She started putting on her make-up and WOW. In the blink of an eye, I saw my baby transform into a beautiful bride. The weather started breaking. The sky was still full of clouds but there were blue patches coming through. The rain/snow stopped and I just knew it was a little bit of my grandparents helping this day be even more perfect! Again, I was reminded how much of an independent woman my daughter had become. I really wasn’t ‘needed’ at my daughter’s house, but I was so thankful to be there, to be watching it all come together, because when that one moment came that I heard: “Mom, can you come up here and help me a minute.” I smiled the biggest smile and remembered SHE IS MY DAUGHTER and although she is so independent, she still needed me.

It was decided that my daughter and I would get our dresses on at the church, just in case the weather decided to change again. Around 12:30 we headed for the church. I took the flower girls and Vincent’s aunt, who helped the flower girls (one of whom was her daughter) get ready! And by 1:10 we were at the church. It was really happening!

I was so thankful that the rain had stopped. We walked into the bridal suite in the church and the sun was actually shining through the windows in the suite. I got dressed, and then it was Alyssa’s turn. My eyes misted at the sight of my daughter, in her beautiful classic, vintage-looking lace bridal gown, but I did not cry. I was too happy to cry. The photographer came in and took a lot of pictures (I cannot wait to see them all!!!!!). I decided to head out to the lobby and see my husband and let the girls all to themselves in the room with Alyssa.

Alyssa’s bridal party consisted of her sister as Maid of Honor, her best friend from college as a bridesmaid, as well as her Zeta Tau Alpha little as a bridesmaid, too. Alyssa’s goddaughter was one of the flower girls as well as one of Vincent’s cousins. I decided to give the 6 of them time alone to get ready for the big event.

When I returned to the room, I found a penny on the floor of the room, near the bench where all of Alyssa’s things were placed. It was the final sign I needed from my grandparents that THEY had their hand in all that turned out good in this day.

Our moment had arrived and the wedding was beginning. I was ready to walk my daughter down the aisle to the man of her dreams. As her mom, I struggled with this whole ‘giving her away’ idea, for my own VERY personal reasons, reasons that do not need to be written on these pages. As she and I neared the entrance to the church, I could feel the emotions building up. We turned to face the sanctuary and all I remember was the intense pride I felt at seeing everyone they invited, smiles on their faces. We took our cue and went to the top of the aisle, took our little pause, and I looked at my daughter and asked: “Are you ready for this?” She looked my square in the eye, smiled, and said, “Let’s go!” I remember looking down the aisle, seeing my husband’s HUGE smile looking at us and then I saw Vincent’s HUGE smile looking at Alyssa. From that point on, all I could do was smile myself. I walked her down the aisle, hugged my soon to be son-in-law and told him to take care of my girl. I turned, hugged and kissed my daughter, and then took my seat to witness this beautiful wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was out of this world. Beautiful venue, great food and drinks, an out of this world band, and EVERYONE gathered in one place celebrating the new Mr. and Mrs. P!!!!! The moment of the Father/Daughter dance arrived and it was the most beautiful tribute to two of the most important men in Alyssa’s life. The band started playing Stand By Me and my dad began the dance with Alyssa. Halfway through the dance, my amazing husband, who has been such a great influence in her life as her stepfather, cut in and ended the dance with her. It was beautiful and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was perfect. It was as it needed to be. The reception was so filled with laughter and friendship. So many people. So much love. Such a perfect day. A wedding for the ages.

And in a few short hours of time, I went from Mother of the Bride, to Mother-in-law! I promise to be a good one.

Mr. and Mrs. Vincent S. Prinzivalli

April 9, 2016

Dancing their first dance to:

You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne

Until next time....Think Thankfully