Choose your people wisely

Dear Readers,

I call them toxic. Toxic people. I'm sure you know one (or more) of these types of people. You know what I am talking about...those people who drain you every time you are around them. They complain ALL the time. They are ALWAYS negative. No matter the amount of happiness or positive influence in their lives, they CANNOT see the good. Toxic people. Just as toxic things drain us of our life energy, toxic people drain us of our emotional energy.

I've had a few toxic friendships over the years. The friendships where I've been drained after spending a few hours with the 'friend' I was with. The toxic friend who NEVER had positive things to say, always drained conversations with her 'woe is me' stories and attitudes. The toxic friend who failed to help when I was in a situation because HER troubles were far more important. Toxic friendships. Although it sounds horrible, you absolutely HATE to see these people coming your way. Knowing you must be in their company gives you a feeling of impending doom. There is nothing worse than expecting a great day, only to have that one person simply ruin it by bringing along their own dark cloud and thunderstorm. It is this type of friendship I walked away from, never to look back. I had to do it for me...for my own emotional cleansing.

I am fully aware that before my own Think Thankfully journey, I was a toxic person. I fueled myself on every bit of negativity I could muster. I saw every opportunity for things to go badly. I complained (A LOT more than I do now), bitched, and brought my own dark cloud everywhere I went. I worried all the time, allowed stress and negativity a lot of space in my head, and in the end, I know I pushed people away. People hated to see me coming. Because I valued myself and because I realized the error in how I was living my life, I now feel as though people smile when they see me approaching. I don't tend to push people away anymore.

As I wrote yesterday, each day I give myself the gift of an attitude of gratitude. I no longer allow myself to be burdened with stress of things I cannot control, people I cannot change, and negativity in my life. I have learned that my life is worth LIVING to the FULLEST. To do that, I have learned that I possess a spark inside me that wants to be lit entirely. To keep that spark glowing, I must see the good, experience positive, surround myself with people who make me smile. In allowing my spark the breathing room it needs, I am fully capable of spreading gratitude, happiness, joy, and friendship to those around me, in hopes of igniting their spark as well.

I learned how to embrace the life I was given, fully understanding that my happiness rests solely on what I allow and don't allow in my life. Through my own thankful journey, I learned that I was a draining soul sucker myself. I was toxic and I did not want to be that person anymore. Today, I surround myself with people who challenge me to be a better person, people who give me a reason to smile and a reason to live. 

People have the power to inspire you, or to drain you. Choose your people wisely. Choose YOU wisely. 

Until next time, my friends.....embrace the positives in life and simply let the negative go!


Think Thankfully 

Gift yourself each day with the Attitude of Gratitude!

Dear Readers,

A new day! A fresh start! Despite what happened the day before, every day you should wake up and give yourself the gift of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is all about being thankful for and appreciating the things you have in your life, everyday.  Using the gift of gratitude is easy: simply begin to value all the goodness, beauty, and love around you. This can be as breathtaking as noticing a beautiful evening sunset that looks more like a painting on canvas or as simple as the soft feel of cotton against your skin when wearing a new sweater you recently purchased.

Gratitude is a way of simplifying life and reverting to a simple state of uncomplicated, natural, pure happiness. Over a year ago, I challenged followers in my Think Thankfully Facebook page. I asked them to adopt this idea of gifting themselves an attitude of gratitude EVERY day for 30 days. Allow themselves to be grateful for the things in their every day life that may be overlooked. Start simple and let the attitude of gratitude grow. For me, it seemed like an easy challenge. Of all the followers of my page, one person took the idea and ran with it. Every single day, she posted what she was thankful for. She offered her gratitude for little things in her day, that she normally would have just dismissed as routine. You could see the build up in each post. Some days she had to dig deep (heck, don't we all at some point?!), but after the 30 days were up, she continued the ‘habit’ of posting her daily gratitude. She is one of the people I stick around on the great book of Faces for. I enjoy reading her daily gratitude and many times, it makes me take a step back and focus even that much more on my own gratitude. I’ve seen a change in this person. I hear it in her posts, I see it in her pictures. She is a far more happier person and while she still experiences roadblocks and speed bumps in her days, she sees that the goodness outweighs the negative.

THAT is what it is all about. Notice the positive and the good in your day, and soon enough, you will see the goodness and positives the world around you. Notice what’s right instead of what’s wrong, and begin to see every negative situation as an opportunity to grow into a better state of mind, and ultimately a happier, better person. Is your glass half full or half empty? Do you see the rain as a miserable day or an opportunity for new growth to flourish? Do you recognize a bird chirping as a sign of spring or a nuisance noise that just woke you from your much needed sleep?

Life is for celebrating and in noticing all the things in your life to be thankful for, you give yourself more to celebrate! Expressing gratitude, being thankful, and living your life as a celebration is a wonderful idea and if celebrated each and every day, it can become a never ending party!!! Enjoy life, use the gift of the attitude of gratitude to find ways to celebrate every day! Order flavored coffee instead of the boring blah stuff! Keep a smile on your face and then share that smile with a stranger! Skip down the hallway at work! Whistle a happy tune while in the elevator! EAT DESSERT!! Call a friend and allow yourself all the time in the world to talk!! Buy flowers for no reason! Crank the radio! SING OUT LOUD!! All these and more are great examples of celebrating life! We don’t need birthdays and holidays to limit our celebration of life! Life is to be celebrated EVERY day and in sharing your gift of the attitude of gratitude with yourself and others, you help promote thankfulness in others.

Right now, things aren’t necessarily going as I had hoped in my personal life. I’ve got some roadblocks and speed bumps of my own I am working to surmount. But, even in the midst of my trying day yesterday, the day in which I had hoped for answers and got nothing, really, even in THAT day, I was able to find things to be thankful for and to remain positive about. Sure, I allowed myself a moment to sit and cry. I’m human, remember? But at the end of the day, I was able to list things I was thankful for in THAT day. And now, that day is a memory. I won't dwell on it. I pick up and move on to today. And in this moment, I am thankful for many things. Yes, it might only be 8:30am, but I've already awoken with my attitude of gratitude. I recognize what I have to be thankful for and I will not allow myself to focus on the negative. You see,  I don’t just preach it, I practice it, too. I don’t just post things on here and then walk away and live a different life. I try real hard to live the words I write, the images I share, the advice I give. I live it. Gratitude is a way to reach your own happiness and the only way to reach that happiness is to allow yourself to accept the gift you’ve given you. The gift of the attitude of gratitude. Unwrap it! Use it! Live it every day!

Until next time, my friends……be thankful for simple things; a gift from a friend, the energy of a child, a random act of kindness, giggles and laughter, the sunshine, and even the rain!

Think Thankfully

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and more happiness!

My morning was disappointing in that I had hoped to get some answers to some health related issues that have cropped up in my life. It is because of mornings like this particular morning that I do not go to the doctor when I feel ‘some sort of way’. I know some people who are constant complainers of every single ache and pain they feel in their bodies. They run to the doctor, then complain when the doctor can’t identify the source of the pain. I don’t want to be that person, however, today, I certainly felt like I walked a mile in those shoes. I’ve got discomfort, sensitivity, and at least once a day, pain. Uncomfortable pain. After dealing with this for nearly three months, I decided to go to the doctor for the issue. After being examined, nothing definitive was decided. While it wasn’t exactly bad news, in my world, it was devastating. I sat, partially undressed (under the examination gown I was given) and listened to a doctor tell me that he wasn’t sure what the source of my pain was. Insecurities crept in, and I immediately began to think, ‘this man doesn’t believe my pain.’ My mother was along for this visit, and while I know she received a feeling of relief, I felt like my whole reason for not ever going to a doctor was completely validated.

I have no validation for my visit to the dr today. I am having testing done. I have a return visit scheduled (in three months – unless results of tests prove otherwise). And I still have pain and discomfort. Normally speaking, I would not be writing a post like this. I try to keep things positive, but in this instance, I definitely feel like it shows my human side. It shows that I, too, feel defeated at times. This being one of them.

If you know me, you know I am not one to complain. I don’t post all my aches and pains for the world to see (and trust me, there are many aches and pains I feel). I don’t utilize the book of Faces to generate pity or to garner comments galore upon my page. But today, well, today, I am feeling a bit defeated. I want to know why I am experiencing pain. I want to know why I feel discomfort. I want to know it isn’t in my head. I want to feel validated.

Today, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I wanted, but the positive side of it is, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I didn’t want. I learned I must take better care of myself. I can’t possibly take care of those around me if I, myself, am ill. So, I will keep the faith and I will wait, patiently, for results……..and accept any positive thoughts that can be sent my way! Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and definitely more happiness! And I prefer the happiness!!!

Think Thankfully!!!!

Take charge of YOUR life!

Dear Readers, 

It’s time to embrace the moment and start writing again! I love when the urge to write is bigger than the urge to do anything else at the moment! I sit here in the (somewhat) solitude (Criminal Minds reruns are on the TV providing background noise for me) and so many things swirl around inside my head. I’m a major mish-mash of feelings at this moment, which makes writing a bit tougher than usual, but I forge on, deciding to put onto paper what I’ve got inside my head. Sometimes it helps to battle the blues when I’ve got a keyboard at my fingertips!

I guess you could say I’ve struggled with a form of depression for a little while. I’ve done a very good job of overcoming it, fighting it off by exploring this Think Thankfully journey for the past three and a half years, but it’s always there, in the far reaching bowels of my soul. I can easily slide into feelings of inadequacy, loss, betrayal, fear, and frustration. I think we all can at some point in our lives. When I am at this point in my life, I tend to bottle up my true feelings and I put on the happy face, making it seem like nothing in the world is bothering me. It is at these moments that I feel completely stuck. Like my wheels are turning but I’m going nowhere. Fast. I dream big, but I feel as though I fail at working on reality.

We allow ourselves to believe that we can’t move forward. We can’t get past the rut we are stuck in. But you know what, let me let you in on a little fact of the matter. The truth is (and you KNOW how I feel about the truth!), YOU have the power to move forward no matter what roadblocks you encounter on your journey. YOU have the power to live up to your highest expectation of how amazingly awesome your life can be. YOU have the power to follow through and make significant strides towards your biggest goals, no matter what those goals may be. YOU have all this power because YOU hold in your hand, a CHOICE. In each moment, YOU can choose what you think, what you do, and who you want to be. YOU CHOOSE!

Stop allowing your feelings of inadequacy, loss, betrayal, fear, and frustration control YOU. They are only feelings. They are NOT the fact of your life. Feelings are controlled by YOU. Make the choice to think positively. Be strong and courageous in your daily happenings. Leave no room for inferior feelings. I know it is easier said than done, but believe me, taking baby steps along the way eventually will lead to one HUGE leap, one in which you leave the negativity behind you and start seeing only the positives!!!

Until tomorrow, my friends ….. Take charge of your life and make this day the best day of your life! Keep reminding yourself that you are strong enough to take whatever the next step is in taking charge of YOUR life, and that this step is the only step that matters right now!

Think Thankfully!!!

Today is Mardi Gras! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

A gathering of thousands of people will revel in the streets today, celebrating everything and anything, raising glasses (and shirts) for beads and plastic doubloons and throws (but if they fall on the street, just let them lie!). They will (most likely, drunkenly) sway to street musicians; the loud brass bands gently reminding the masses that they are, in fact, not saints and that the narrow streets in which they stagger through are far too crowded for marching in. They will wear their costumes in all their glory, walking through the streets of the French Quarter. They will scream, “Throw me something, Mister!” to anyone holding beads in their midst. They will indulge in the gluttony the city brings to them. Drinking too much and eating far too little, hangovers will be a definite for tomorrow. Tomorrow there will surely be many with the feeling of regret in New Orleans, but today, well today is Mardi Gras! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Last year, I had the unique opportunity to experience one of my bucket list items. I was able to attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans. While the day was filled with rain, rain, and more rain, the mood and celebrations were far from dampened. I swore, after being there last year, I would never really have to go to NOLA for Mardi Gras again. But truth be told (you KNOW how I feel about the truth), I am longing for the experience again. As I sit, knowing what today is in my favorite city, I can't help but wish I were there. I would give anything to be in my favorite city today, reveling in Mardi Gras festivities once again. Today is Mardi Gras! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

New Orleans quickly captured my heart on my first trip to the Crescent City in July of 2005. It was a trip unlike any other I had ever taken in my life. It was the first time I vacationed on my own, per se. I went to NOLA with a friend and her husband, however my husband at that time, refused to go along. I decided I wasn’t allowing him to ruin my dream of being in a place where people were buried above ground and voodoo and zydeco music filled the air. It was a very freeing experience for me, allowing me for the first time ever, to truly feel like I had control of my life. I became so consumed with the culture, the language; it was so easy to become inspired by this city.

The overpowering zest for life that abounds in New Orleans is so easy to fall in love with! Everywhere within the French Quarter you can see signs reading "laissez les bons temps rouler," which translates to "let the good times roll!" And roll they do. It became a longing deep within my heart to be in New Orleans. And with those good times, an incredible friendship was forged with someone I met on a chance outing on July 20, 2005.

One month after my initial trip to NOLA, Hurricane Katrina ravished my favorite place in the world. I feared for the safety of my friend Capt. Ron, who is a Captain of the NOFD. In talking to him after the storm, I knew that the New Orleans I fell in love with was changed forever, however what was unchanged was the strong desire I felt to be there.

I’ve visited New Orleans five times since my first trip in 2005. While many things have changed over the years within the Big Easy, one constant has remained all these years later: my friendship with Capt. Ron. I find myself drawn to NOLA, not for the nightlife and partying (although some nights, the drinks flow easy and that inebriation can easily sneak up on you), but for the culture and the friendship. It is cultural experience to be in the Crescent City and if you are open to that experience, a whole new world can be opened to you.

One of my trips to NOLA occurred over Thanksgiving of 2011, my daughter’s 21’st birthday. I wanted her to experience a 21^st like no other. And that she did. It truly was the gift that keeps on giving, because much like her mother, my daughter now has a deep love for the city, as well. She longs for her next trip. She knows what it means to miss New Orleans.

Today is Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Mardi Gras means "Fat Tuesday." It refers to the day before Lent starts. Tomorrow begins the religious observance of Lent, a season of the Christian year where Christians focus on simple living, prayer, and fasting in order to grow closer to God. Since Lent always starts on a Wednesday, the day before is always a Tuesday. And it's called "Fat" or "Great" because it's associated with great food and parties, hence the wild tradition and beliefs about Mardi Gras.

Today is Mardi Gras in New Orleans and I am sitting here in Pennsylvania, reflecting, wishing, and preparing for my next trip to my favorite city, festival or no festival!

Today is Mardi Gras! Go pass a good time, f’sure!!!!!

Until tomorrow, my friends….. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

ThinkThankfully!!!!

Let the whispers of your soul ROAR!

Dear Readers, 

Have you ever felt like you were being pushed, pulled, and maybe even shoved in every direction imaginable and felt as though you were simply going to just snap? Break? Fall completely apart? Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot like this, especially in my M-F daily work place. I’ve also had a lot of ‘other’ things swimming in my head, causing me to completely lose focus on the thankfulness goals I set for myself. I've forgotten what I enjoy doing FOR ME. I've forgotten what it is that makes my soul happy. Let’s explore just a little more, if you will.

Let’s face it. Jobs are stressful. I know people often say, ‘Find something you love doing and you won’t work a day in your life.’ While I am all about that idea, I also know that as much as I love my job and the wee ones I work with, many days as of late, my job stresses me out and it feels exactly like WORK. In my line of work (Special Education), I have multiple people pushing, pulling, and even shoving me in all different directions. I am at the mercy of the organization I work for, the school districts we service, the families of the children, and my own desire to be the best I can be. I seem to always have deadlines that must be met, changes to embrace, new methods to practice. I am sure you can all relate to this, regardless of the field you work in.

Add to the stress of work, we can all agree that we have personal stressors to deal with on a daily basis as well. Family requires our attention, bills require paying, and friends often require our help in one way or another. Being the type of person we are, we do everything in our power to help others before we do things for ourselves. We become so overwhelmed with the many different directions we are being tugged in, that we become all consumed by the stress and fail to recognize the little things that make life worth living! We stop Thinking Thankfully and allow the stress and negativity to take over.

Lately, I’ve felt as though I have had no real ‘me time’. Sure I like to go every two weeks to get my nails done. It’s a little bit of a pampering session JUST FOR ME. But that’s only every two weeks. My youngest daughter plays Varsity Basketball for the local high school. From November until now, my life becomes consumed with all things Basketball Mom related. I love it. But it really takes over my life and things I enjoy are put on a bit of a back burner. Yet another direction I’m being pushed, pulled, and shoved in. As I mentioned in the previous blog posting, lately I haven't been able to find time to just sit and write. Writing is my favorite method of expressing who I am. I have always enjoyed writing and have always held out the hopes that ONE DAY, one sweet day; I WILL BE a published author. I dream of being a bestselling author.  I dream a happy dream, but in the end, when the reality of the idea hits and I am forced to realize that this will probably, most definitely NEVER happen to me, I find myself wallowing in a bit of self pity, wondering why I even write in the first place. And that is no good for anyone. A happy life depends on us and no one else. We have to make the time to make ourselves happy before we can do for others and make them happy. We have to remember what makes our soul happy and then go out and do it, without worrying about anything else! Happiness has to begin with US. I enjoy writing for ME and whether or not I become someone well known because of it shouldn't matter in the end.

I guess I’ve realized that we must find that which compels our spirit and then just do it; much like writing for me. I’ve got to make the time, sit down UNINTERRUPTED, and write. Whatever flows out of me, whatever innermost whispers are struggling to be heard, I must make the time and write. I must bring a loud voice to my whispers.

Until next time…..

Think Thankfully

Writing is good for the soul

Dear Readers,

It's been quite some time since I updated this blog. Some days, I find myself longing for solitude so I can just sit and write and write and write. Other days, I have a strong desire to write and nothing wants to come out. I believe I may overwhelm myself with the idea that I have to write. I pressure myself into writing and then I am stumped as to what I want to say, what I feel is important to get out, what I wish I could say in written word. Many thoughts swirl around in my head but trying to get them out has been a true struggle. Perhaps I am frustrated over the path the publishing of Think Thankfully has taken. Perhaps I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut of neverending complacency. Perhaps I just needed a few days of negative windchills and a laptop to just really sit and focus a bit. Regardless, here we are in the midst of a new blog posting because, truth be told (and if you've followed any of my writings and ramblings, you know I believe in telling the truth to my readers!), I've wanted to write. I've always wanted to write.

A lot of things have contributed to this strong desire to write in the past few weeks. We've had so many snow days, which have left me sitting on my grandma's glider rocker, watching way too much TV. I've had a lot of moments of reflection in the past month, many of which normally bring me a lot of sadness. I've had a few encounters with someone from my past, who still has the capacity to evoke a wide range of feelings/emotions in me. I've had to reevaluate some friendships and sadly, some people have walked away from my life. Add to these things, the fact that my oldest child has found an apartment in a town 210 miles away from me in another state (but believe me, I've been preparing for this one) and is set to move at the end of next month, while my youngest is enjoying a relatively carefree life of a 17 year old, spending much of her free time with her boyfriend, and you get a glimpse of the wide range of emotion/feelings I've been struggling with. My writing urge has been strong, but I struggle with what to put down on paper.

I turn to Think Thankfully to help work through my feelings. Not everything I post upon the page is directed solely at me. Many times, I feel an overwhelming urge to post about a certain theme or idea. Later, I find someone has felt what was posted was exactly what they needed in their life. I've allowed myself the room of a Facebook page to express what I need to. Many people may think that I hide behind the 'mask' of a Facebook page because I do my very best to keep that page more universal and not personal. I keep my true identity relatively hidden on that page. While I post some personal things, rarely do I show the world who I truly am on that particular page, although it isn't much different that what is shown.

During the past three and a half years, I've learned a lot, lost a lot, gained a lot, and worked on being a better person. I've eliminated the negative from my life as much as I can. I've got a little ways to go, but all in all, the negativity has slowly disappeared from my life. I've given myself such room to express my true thoughts and feelings and in return, I feel as though I've imparted some wisdom on the 790 followers that Think Thankfully currently has. I guess, the best thing I can do, is continue on my own journey and hope that others get from it what they need.

I can tell you I'll try to be better at writing here, but I'm not sure if that is an honest admission. Perhaps, instead of giving something physical up for Lent, I will give up the excuses for not writing and dedicate myself to writing for each of the 40 days of the Lenten season. Maybe that will spark some writing fires (and maybe my writing will be noticed by people in order for it to become more of a career rather than a hobby!).

Either way, I'll do what I can. That's all I can say about that......

Until next time, 

Think Thankfully