2006 the year that changed my life. Happy 10 years to LIFE!

Let’s go back in time. The year was 2006. It was the year that changed everything in my life. A year I haven't talked too much about, until now...

I had not been feeling well as the year 2006 was happily rung in. I’d been having some ‘girlie’ trouble in addition to a very rocky marriage that was wearing on my very soul. Happiness seemed like a concept that happened to everyone else, just not me. In January, I had decided to do something about the way I had been feeling and I went to see the doctor, something I have very rarely done in my life, because I always associate doctors with bad news.

After rounds of exams and testing, February 21 brought me the news I never wanted to hear. I was diagnosed with non-invasive Cervical Cancer. I was a young mother, raising two daughters ages 8 and 15, and in a marriage that was heading for disaster. Just what that disaster would be happened only 4 days later when my then husband would move out, leaving me with a ton of emotional baggage that I was unsure I could handle.

From February through August, I had been having all kinds of procedures done, in hopes of eradicating the cancer and being able to move on with my life. No such luck. With every test came the results, “Sorry, you have to come back in and do this again, we just didn’t get it.” 6 months of being uncomfortable, feeling dirty, just plain yucky, all the while dealing with the start of what would be a rather nasty divorce.

It was during that 6 month period I would find my true love, my forever love, my soulmate. My current husband was like my knight in shining armor, coming to rescue me at a point in my life that I was in desperate need of being rescued. 

It was also during that 6 months, on July 10, 2006 to be exact, Dorothy Gulbenkian Blaney, who for 17 years was president of Cedar Crest College in Allentown, PA died at the age of 65, after battling cervical cancer for two years. This was a very real fear of mine. I did NOT want to die. I lived with this fear every day, but it was at that time, I decided I would do what I had to do in order to LIVE. I found out just how strong I was when faced with this very real fear.

July passed and we headed into August of 2006. I was in Disney with my parents, my daughters, and my brother and his family. It was a trip that my little brother and my parents took us on to help take my mind off of what was happening in my life. It was on this trip that I received the word from the doctor that, once again, I had to set up an appointment for more procedures because, ONCE AGAIN, the last one performed before we left for our trip, did not take care of the problem. Apparently I had a very stubborn cancer cell. What that stubborn cancer cell didn’t know was that it was residing in the body of one stubborn woman.

I did make the appointment with my doctor, but rather than have another (unsuccessful in my mind) procedure, I told the doctor it was time for surgery. I had discussed this with my mother during our trip and the choice was made. If I had a system in my body that:  1.) was stricken with cancer, making me sick and 2.) was really serving me no purpose anymore (I wasn’t having any more children), then it was time to get rid of it and become healthy again.

September 18, 2006 I had a hysterectomy and had the cancer removed from my body for good. No sign of cancer has ever returned. Today is my 10 year anniversary of that amazing decision that saved my life. September 18 can, kind of, be considered a special ‘birthday’ of sorts for me, because it was on this day that I was given that new chance at life. 2006 was the year that changed everything. I was rid of a marriage that was causing me more heartache than happiness, I was rid of cancer that was causing me to be so sick, and I found the love of my life and began a new life in a new direction. And I was able to LIVE!

Until next time….happy 10th birthday of a new life to me!

Respect. Find out what it means to me!

In light of the recent race debate going on in our country and an occurrence that happened to my husband and I last night, I decided to write this blog post today.

We decided that we would have a ‘date night’ to Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg, PA, our go-to spot for sushi and live music! Being that my husband lived in the Stroudsburg area for a number of years, he is pretty well versed in traffic patterns and parking lot traffic. As we pulled into Sarah Street’s parking lot (which is understood to be one way), we noticed a vehicle coming at us, from the wrong direction, completely blocking the way for anyone trying to get in and find a parking spot. We continued on until this car was about 30 feet from us and it was then that we noticed an out of state license plate. My husband opened the door (in which, I admit, I was very scared that whomever was in the car would become irate and maybe pull a weapon) and yelled to the driver that they were going the wrong way, motioning with his arm for them to go in reverse back out through the lot. Now, mind you, it was 9:00 and very dark outside and we had no idea if the driver was a male or female.  The opposing car did not move in reverse but rather inched forward towards us a bit, because people were trying to get OUT of their parking spots that they were now blocking. Now, the car door opened. As the opposite car’s door opened, my husband opened his door, too. At this point, I remained relatively calm, but I was a tad more scared as a larger black man stepped out of the car and started walking towards us. My heart was thumping.

I am NOT a prejudiced person by any means, and I completely blame the rash of media attention to the perceived inequalities of race in this country for my ‘fear’. That being said, this man walked towards our car as my husband  stepped out of our car. My husband is a big guy, rough looking…a biker dude…tattooed and goatee….he’s intimidating (but really a teddy bear). I thought, “Oh great….here goes a confrontation that isn’t going to end well.” I braced myself for the worst in this situation, a slew of news headlines starting flashing through my head.......

And then it happened. As he approached our car, the man began apologizing profusely to us (looking behind our car as the line waiting to get in got longer and stretched out to the street) and said he never saw that it was a one way lot. He kept repeating over and over that he was just looking for a spot to park so he could go in and grab a beer! My husband and this man laughed together and exchanged niceties, with my husband saying, “Not a problem, man! Just park it so we can all get moving along!”

The man parked his car, we parked next to him, and walked into the establishment together, almost as if we had been friends forever. We ended up sitting next to him at the bar, buying him his drinks for his parking lot troubles, and made a new friend when the night was over. Phone numbers were exchanged, deep sea fishing trips were discussed, and a lot of laughs happened between the three of us during the evening.

As this whole episode was unfolding, it was apparent that this man was bracing himself for a confrontation (perhaps due to the color of his skin? perhaps because my husband looked like he'd be an angry biker dude? - another wrongful stereotype - but those are assumptions on my part.) and was ready to defend himself if necessary. However, in the world we live in, we don’t care what color your skin is. That’s the way it should be everywhere. We care about what you are like as a person. If you are an asshole to us, we can be that way, too. If you approach and react in a threatening manner, you will get that back. If you treat us with respect and kindness, that is what you get back from us in return. And that is exactly what happened here.

As we talked with Clint, our new friend, a new stereotype was brought to my attention and I was happy to know I didn’t fit the mold. He was actually more afraid of ME. Imagine that. The world in which he lives, women tend to fly off the handle and become the aggressor in situations. He was looking at calm Bill and seeing me in the passenger seat, just waiting for me to fly off the handle at the situation. Part of me was offended that simply because I was a woman, this was the perceived stereotype. Get to know people before you stereotype them. Male/female….black/white/tan/orange…..young/old. Underneath it all, we all have a heart. And a heart knows no stereotype.

I truly believe that there really is no race issue in this country. There is a HUGE disrespect issue in this country and in allowing jackass multi-million dollar athletes to continue in their ridiculous ‘protests’, we are only enabling the disrespect that is shown here. It’s time to look around and call it what it is. It is a choice and consequence issue, regardless of the color of your skin. If you choose to act in a disrespectful manner, then be ready for the consequences that befall you. Regardless of the color of your skin, obey the law, follow rules, listen to police and people in authority (even if you believe they are wrong….there’s a time to sort all that out and make your case known without defying them at the moment). Remember, we only see what the media presents to us. Please give it some thought before you try to justify kneeling for the National Anthem of the United States of America.

 

Until next time…..Think Thankfully