My goodness did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. In fact, I didn't even wake up on MY side of MY bed. I woke up in the guest bedroom after being booted from my bed by the dogs. Gus normally sleeps in bed with us, but Penny, well, she's just too large to sleep on the bed (and I know many people will say they don't belong on our bed to begin with, but HUSH....my house, my rules). When my day actually started, I was out of sorts and in a pissy mood, for lack of a better term, just ask my husband.
I left late for work and as I entered the highway, my phone rang. It was my supervisor. Normally, I'm well on my way by the time she had called, but today, NOPE. Wasn't a huge deal, but enough to throw off my already crapshoot of a morning. Pulled into the parking lot at the time I'm supposed to be in my classroom and I truly hate feeling rushed. My own fault today, I get that.
An email regarding the phone system at work set me off on a vocal tirade, to which a coworker commented about my mood first thing. Wake up call. As I sat here looking at my computer screen that had all my favorite Sirius channels listed, I gazed through the listing and immediately saw that Thunder Road was playing on E Street Radio. That's it. I'm listening to Channel 20 because if ANYONE can relate to my moods, it's Springsteen. And the best part is, he doesn't even know it!!!!
Throughout my life....well, since I was in the 4th grade and a mere girl of 10 years old....Bruce Springsteen has spoken to me. Ok, HE hasn't actually spoken to me, but his lyrics have. It was hearing Thunder Road for the first time that captivated me with this man who would later become the one entity that could always get me through the rough times in my life. Thunder Road is the one song that has always given me hope in trying times, sunshine on my grey sky days, a smile when the corners of my mouth want to dip into a frown.
I wasn't sure how my "I'm listening to nothing but Springsteen today" would go over with my coworkers, but truth be told, I didn't really care. Much like the 'my house my rules' attitude I have, it's kind of like a 'my Sirius my computer my music choice' attitude as well! No apologies here. It is a good thing my aide enjoys the music of Springsteen, too!
So, here I sit, listening to an episode of Be The Boss on E Street Radio, smiling through someone's song choices and listening to how Springsteen has affected their lives as well. It's a weird thing, how the music of one man can do that; can bring people together and make us realize that we are not alone in our struggles, happiness, and love for all things Springsteen. I reflect on the many concerts I've been to, the time I was the Boss on E Street Radio, the front row experience, the back to back night experience, and the many times his music has gotten me through a rough time.
Today, it is 4 months since losing Billy. I know that's weighing heavily on my heart and mind. Today, I will allow Mr Springsteen to help me through all my feelings and emotions, as only his music can do. Maybe, I'll get a message in one of the songs, maybe I'll hear something I missed the million other times I've heard a song, and maybe I'll somehow feel the weight of this lift from my shoulders.
Maybe.
For now, I'll listen with open ears and an open heart. And one day, when I am fortunate enough to meet Mr Springsteen, I will thank him for always coming to my rescue. A girl can dream......
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