Soapbox rant that EVERYONE needs to read!

I'm going to write about something that has been bothering me for quite some time, yet I've never written it out in hopes of processing it. After a recent conversation with someone, this entire topic has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart.

In chatting recently with someone I love and respect, the conversation shifted (a bit uneasily, too) to the topic of child support. This person was counting down to their child's graduation from high school so they no longer have to pay support for that child. Someone else asked about college and supporting the child through college, and the person I was speaking to made the comment, "Nope. Not required. I'm done at high school graduation." 

Perhaps I am a tad jaded as I was raised by both my parents, who helped support me (and my daughter - yes, I was a teenage mother, and I like to think a damn good one) until I moved out of their house. I guess, in my world, your child doesn't stop needed help or support just because they graduate high school. In fact, I think that's when support becomes even more important. I found myself in this same situation through my divorce from my first husband. He, too, felt as though his continual support simply ended the day his girls graduated high school. There was no financial support given throughout either of their years at college. College loans (co-signing a loan doesn't mean SHIT as far as actual financial support goes, Jackwagon), gas money, fun money, money on meal plan accounts, books, supplies, dorm room set up, moving in, etc.....that has all been supported by me and their (bonus) dad. One can brag that they co-signed a loan for college, but by all means, and I'll say it again, LOUDER for those in the back who didn't hear me the first time ... that doesn't mean SHIT unless you are actually PAYING the loan. It's a signature, it's NOT financial support for your child (unless they default the loan - and if you know either of my girls, you know that isn't going to happen.).

I'm still trying to understand this mindset. IF both parents remained married, would you support your child throughout college, providing for their continual needs as they work to better themselves? Or would you send them off to their institution of higher education with a dream and a hope and absolutely NO financial help at all? I call bullshit to the latter of the two.

As the primary guardian for both my girls after my divorce, I saw the expenses pile up year after year PRIOR to the end of support and trust me, it didn't lessen when they went off to college. I did my best to help my girls financially as they went on to better themselves in careers. Thankfully, my amazing husband helped out considerably. He helped provide what they needed and financially helped to support two girls who were not biologically his, simply because THAT'S what a parent does. Their bonus dad is the epitome of the 'dad that didn't have to be'.

I wish I understood how people can simply NOT support their children, regardless of their age. Hell, I'm 46 years old and my parents STILL help me out when I need it. And I STILL do what I can for my girls when they need me. I haven't cast them out simply because they 'grew up'. And I know for a fact, the person in the original conversation is helped by their parents at times as well. 

For now, I'll end this soapbox rant and hope that the right people read this blog. I'd love to speak to politicians and work to make support mandatory for children who go on to schooling of any type after high school in order to better themselves, SO if you know of any politicians who might like to pick up this battle and fight it with me, get them in touch with me. This is now my fight. For the kids!!!

Until next time!