Life ain't always beautiful........

I was driving home from work yesterday and this song came on the country station I was listening to: Gary Allan's "Life Ain't Always Beautiful". It somewhat stopped me in my tracks, made all my immediate thoughts float to the wayside and I simply listened. And while I drove along and listened, those lyrics screamed at me. It's been a weird set of circumstances lately in my life. I wish I could figure out the messages that are coming my way, but the words in this song almost seemed like they were speaking directly to me from someone I always went to for comfort and advice. Perhaps......

"Life ain't always beautiful,

Sometimes it's just plain hard.

Life can knock you down,

It can break your heart."

So true.

Life sure ain't always beautiful. Lately, I seem to feel this way a little more than I'd like to. I've got a great life; a super husband, amazing daughters, a job, a house, and relatively good health. Wish I could pinpoint why I feel the disappointment in my life lately. Perhaps I wish for more for me. I see people around me grabbing life, doing exactly what they want to be doing, and sometimes that green-eyed monster rears its ugly head. I want to reach the masses with my message of being positive, thankful, grateful, happy. I want to inspire people on a large scale, but somehow I feel as though I'm failing in this department. I feel like I'm on that dead end road, with not enough room to turn around and fix my course.

"Life ain't always beautiful,
You think you're on your way.
And it's just a dead end road
At the end of the day." 

As I drove the 8 mile ride home from school, this song became a reminder that life is not always beautiful and what you want it to be.  Lately, I have been struggling with some things, some that are in my control and some that are not. I’m not always good at dealing with things and recently certain things have been going on that I have been having a hard time dealing with. During the past 4 years, I grew into a strong woman. I learned how to tackle things with ease and not stress over little things. I have gotten good at not letting things get the best of me, especially when I seem to have to wrestle with my inner demons. But not this time. Right now, it has been a little bit harder. I'm not afraid to admit I'm struggling and really, that's OK.  I have learned some things and learning isn't always a bad thing!

"But the struggles make you stronger,
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way
Of taking its sweet time."

It’s those struggles that have been keeping my mind occupied the past few months and consequently have caused the lack of writing here. When I'm in this mood, I don't always feel like writing. My inspiration seems to disappear and words don't come so easy. My mind has been elsewhere. You see, we all have those days where we feel less than what we are.  When we deny those feelings we aren’t being truthful to ourselves. While I try to put on a solid, brave front, the truth is, a few incidents over the past few months have really battered down my sense of self worth.

I am not a perfect person, nor have I ever professed to be.  Honestly, neither are any of you who might be reading this blog. I am flawed, beautifully flawed. There are days that I realize that more than others. Do I dwell on those things? Sometimes, if I am being honest (and you know I like to be honest in my blog postings!).  Sometimes it may take some time (like a few days) and sometimes it may take longer (like a few months), but in the end I just pick myself up by my boot straps and carry on!

"No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But what a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride"

The words to this song scream out to us that simple reminder: we’ll all have problems in life, but through these tough times we must realize that we’re getting stronger and we must remember that “Life ain’t always beautiful – But it’s a beautiful ride.” It’s a beautiful ride.

Until tomorrow, my friends.....enjoy the ride! Think Thankfully!!!