An all day every day love affair

It's the month of LOVE. February is always associated with red, hearts, love, Valentines, romance. February is my second favorite month of the year (next to November, of course - shout out to my beautiful November-born daughters).

Let's talk love. Love is a beautiful thing and I am so truly blessed to have pure and true love in my life on a daily basis. I'm not a huge proponent of Valentine's Day, but I love LOVE. I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. Read that again.....I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. I am truly blessed and I realize not everyone can say that. Before my husband entered my life, I could not say that. My first marriage was a hot mess of mental and emotional abuse. I was never truly shown what love looked like in a marriage. That all changed when Bill entered my life.

This past Christmas, Bill and I were married 10 years. Most people say that love starts to fade a bit with time. I am here to tell you, in the right relationship that does NOT have to be the case. I am still just as in love with and attracted to my husband as I was the first time I laid eyes on him. It still excites me that I am the one who is lucky enough to fall asleep next to him and wake up with him by my side every single night/day. The excitement of coming home from work to see him is still strong, the giddy feeling of him letting me know he's on his way home from work at the end of the day is still as strong as it was in the beginning. I look forward to my morning text messages each and every day. If there is such a thing as a honeymoon stage in a relationship, ours is nowhere near being over! 

I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. I remember back when things were fresh and new, telling Bill that I hoped we would never get to a point where saying I love you was just something that was automatic and said because it felt like it should be. I never wanted to get to a point where we felt as though we had to express love towards one another, because it was expected of us. All these years later, nothing has changed. Expressing love towards one another is so natural, so easy. It's one of the easiest things to do, love my husband. We truly have an all day every day love affair, and it is exciting, wonderful, intense, romantic.

My wish for whomever is reading this, is that YOU have a love like this in your life, that you are able to experience such an incredible love at some point, if you don't already. I realize I am blessed and that what I have is extremely special to be able to say I have Valentine's Day EVERY SINGLE DAY in my life. I wish you a forever love....the kind of love that gives YOU an all day every day love affair!

Happy Valentine's Day! 

Four words that made a difference

I wasn't going to write again this week, but something happened last night that prompted my urge to write about it. 

During the day yesterday, my wonderfully amazing husband asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with him last night. I love when he does things like that. He's a genuinely amazing person, who ALWAYS asks me on a 'date'. Yes, despite the fact that we are older AND have been together forever, he still asks me on date nights!! I was planning on making a broiled salmon for dinner, but without hesitation, I told him I'd love to join him out for dinner! I mean, come on! Who wouldn't want to go out to dinner rather than cook, right???

So, he gets home from work and changes around and off we go. I wasn't sure what I was hungry for so I left it up to him where we'd eat. Since the beginning of July, I've been following the Code Red Lifestyle, which has completely changed my way of eating. It isn't difficult to follow, and I have lost over 60 pounds in a very healthy way. My husband has been extremely supportive of this decision of mine and does his best to accommodate my needs when eating out. I'm never worried....I can always find something on a menu that I choose to eat!

We ended up at a place called The Keystone Pub, which is a favorite spot of his. I was checking out the menu and decided on a Black and Bleu burger with no bun: a blackened burger, bleu cheese crumbles, sauteed onions, bacon, and jalapeno peppers. Delicious!!! When the waitress came around, I asked her for the burger, no bun and a side salad with Ranch dressing. She proceeds to ask me if I want fries or chips with my burger. I told her I didn't need either, just the side salad.

My husband and I sat chatting before our food came out and when it did, he looks over at me and says, "I'm proud of you." 

"Proud of me?" I responded, "Why?"

"Because you've found something that really works for you and you stick to it like it's nothing! You look great!"

Talk about making me feel exceptional? My husband has ALWAYS made me feel like a million bucks. He ALWAYS makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world (or at least the room!). He ALWAYS makes sure I know that he notices the little things. He is one of the most respectful men I've ever met.  

Since starting my new lifestyle, he's been on board to the best of his ability! He's such a foodie! He loves eating out. He loves desserts. He loves food! It's his vice. That being said, he's been supportive of new dinners, new food options, and grocery shopping in a different way than we've been used to. He expresses a genuine interest in what I'm doing.

I truly believe you should be with someone who is proud of you, proud to be with you, proud of your accomplishments. Be with someone who makes you laugh more than cry, lifts you up more than puts you down, listens to you when you have something to say rather than dismissing your ideas or feelings. Be with someone who understands ALL your moods and knows how to make each of them better, and most of all, be with someone who makes YOU a priority. It is my sincere hope that through my relationship with my husband, my daughters have been able to see how a true relationship looks, what it should be like (rather than what they were subjected to when I was married to their father), and how true compromise makes all relationships even stronger.

"I'm proud of you." Four words that meant so very much to me......and I know he meant it, too.

HI! Remember me?

Hey there! Remember me? I'm back! I hadn't realized how long I'd been away from blogging until I opened up the blogger website and saw that my last post was in September of 2016. WHAT?! WHAT?!

A lot has happened in the last (almost) 2 years. My youngest finished her second year of college (remember THAT tear jerking blog post?), my oldest is running half marathons (still can't believe that but I'm super proud of her!) and promoting mental health awareness (she's a HUGE advocate for mental health reform here in the US), I changed jobs (for the better, although I miss my coworkers trememdously), my husband had a Grammy nominated song, AND I got a puppy!!! PHEW! Told you a lot has happened!!!

While that seems like a lot of good stuff, my life hasn't been without some challenges as well. Isn't it funny, though, that when I chose to tell you about the things that have happened in my world since September of 2016, I chose to tell you about all the good things. It is easy to count our troubles rather than our blessings, but such an attitude undermines our ability to draw from the good that we have been given and to see our lives as the true gift that it is. A change in perspective can make all the difference. Thinking with a thankful heart completely changes how we view the daily workings of our lives. Recognizing the good and accepting it with gratitude sets the stage for even more goodness to enter our lives and makes it easier for us to recognize that, even in the midst of some troubling times. By choosing (yes it is a choice, people) to focus on the good, the positive, we can change the way we see this world.

2006 the year that changed my life. Happy 10 years to LIFE!

Let’s go back in time. The year was 2006. It was the year that changed everything in my life. A year I haven't talked too much about, until now...

I had not been feeling well as the year 2006 was happily rung in. I’d been having some ‘girlie’ trouble in addition to a very rocky marriage that was wearing on my very soul. Happiness seemed like a concept that happened to everyone else, just not me. In January, I had decided to do something about the way I had been feeling and I went to see the doctor, something I have very rarely done in my life, because I always associate doctors with bad news.

After rounds of exams and testing, February 21 brought me the news I never wanted to hear. I was diagnosed with non-invasive Cervical Cancer. I was a young mother, raising two daughters ages 8 and 15, and in a marriage that was heading for disaster. Just what that disaster would be happened only 4 days later when my then husband would move out, leaving me with a ton of emotional baggage that I was unsure I could handle.

From February through August, I had been having all kinds of procedures done, in hopes of eradicating the cancer and being able to move on with my life. No such luck. With every test came the results, “Sorry, you have to come back in and do this again, we just didn’t get it.” 6 months of being uncomfortable, feeling dirty, just plain yucky, all the while dealing with the start of what would be a rather nasty divorce.

It was during that 6 month period I would find my true love, my forever love, my soulmate. My current husband was like my knight in shining armor, coming to rescue me at a point in my life that I was in desperate need of being rescued. 

It was also during that 6 months, on July 10, 2006 to be exact, Dorothy Gulbenkian Blaney, who for 17 years was president of Cedar Crest College in Allentown, PA died at the age of 65, after battling cervical cancer for two years. This was a very real fear of mine. I did NOT want to die. I lived with this fear every day, but it was at that time, I decided I would do what I had to do in order to LIVE. I found out just how strong I was when faced with this very real fear.

July passed and we headed into August of 2006. I was in Disney with my parents, my daughters, and my brother and his family. It was a trip that my little brother and my parents took us on to help take my mind off of what was happening in my life. It was on this trip that I received the word from the doctor that, once again, I had to set up an appointment for more procedures because, ONCE AGAIN, the last one performed before we left for our trip, did not take care of the problem. Apparently I had a very stubborn cancer cell. What that stubborn cancer cell didn’t know was that it was residing in the body of one stubborn woman.

I did make the appointment with my doctor, but rather than have another (unsuccessful in my mind) procedure, I told the doctor it was time for surgery. I had discussed this with my mother during our trip and the choice was made. If I had a system in my body that:  1.) was stricken with cancer, making me sick and 2.) was really serving me no purpose anymore (I wasn’t having any more children), then it was time to get rid of it and become healthy again.

September 18, 2006 I had a hysterectomy and had the cancer removed from my body for good. No sign of cancer has ever returned. Today is my 10 year anniversary of that amazing decision that saved my life. September 18 can, kind of, be considered a special ‘birthday’ of sorts for me, because it was on this day that I was given that new chance at life. 2006 was the year that changed everything. I was rid of a marriage that was causing me more heartache than happiness, I was rid of cancer that was causing me to be so sick, and I found the love of my life and began a new life in a new direction. And I was able to LIVE!

Until next time….happy 10th birthday of a new life to me!

Live your dream, Babygirl

Well, today is the day I've been dreading since May 25. Today, we make the 4 1/2 hour trek across the great state of PA to prepare for college move-in day tomorrow. On May 25, this day seemed like a long way off, a whole summer's worth of time to enjoy together. Now, here we are. August 24 and I am not ready. I know I have to be, but I'm not. I'm definitely putting on my Mama Bear Britches and wearing the stiff upper lip, but deep down I feel a bit sullen.

When my oldest went to college 9 hours and 4 states away, I wasn't sure I could handle that at all. She had been such a major part of my life for 18 years and I wasn't sure I knew how to go on being a mom to someone who was so far away. I needed to feel needed by her. Luckily, she did need me as the many phone calls proved. Luckily, I had my Babygirl (who was 7 years younger than her sister) to help ease the loneliness of having my Firstborn so far away.

Those years that my oldest spent in college and then grad school, gaining more and more independence, helped create an even closer relationship with my youngest. Truth be told, she became my best friend. I could still be Mom....strict and rule setting, but I would much rather have gone shopping, to the movies, to football games, etc with her than with anyone else. 9 years of being together and having so much fun.......

Today, we make the 4 1/2 hour trek across the great state of PA to prepare for college move-in day tomorrow. I know her future is bright. I know that she will do great things, because it seems to be in my children's genes to go out and conquer the worlds in which they live. I know she will be homesick (and I'll be kid-sick, too). I know she will make new friends (but keep those old friendships) and will start to branch out into new and exciting adventures. I know that our lives will forever be changed from this day forward, but I also know that the love a mother has for her children never fades.

These will be some of the best years of your life. I know you've relied on your sister for some sage advice on the college years. Listen to her. Follow her advice. She had an amazing college experience and I want the same for you. I won't give you much advice as you prepare for this new journey, but I will give you all the love and support a mother can muster!!! I'm always a phone call/FaceTime chat away.


I am extremely proud of you! 6 years will fly by in the blink of an eye! Make the best of this time! 

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

My Wish

Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you wanna go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you live,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah, yeah.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish (my wish, for you).

This is my wish (my wish, for you)

I hope you know somebody loves you (my wish, for you).

May all your dreams stay big (my wish, for you)

Until next time.....Think Thankfully

Love never fails.....April 9, 2016

The Rewind:

25 years ago, I brought a beautiful 8 pound 1 ounce baby girl into this world. She had a head full of dark hair and the bluest of blue eyes when she was born. I was younger than most new moms and at 17 years old, holding a baby in my arms, I began to truly worry what the future would look like. It was a worry that never left my system. I knew that from the start the odds were stacked against us and we would have to do all we could to defy them. I believe we did. I did my best, with the help of my amazing family, to raise a strong, confident girl in this crazy crazy world. I do believe I succeeded beyond ALL expectations.

The Fast Forward:

I won’t bore anyone with all the wonderful memories I have of my Alyssa growing up. Most of it centers around her being captain of her cheerleading squad, becoming a world traveler, a high school top 10% student, an honor student in college (550 miles away from home), and then graduating from a prestigious college for her Masters Degree. A lot happened between 1990 and 2013.

This past weekend, my firstborn daughter got married! To say I was prepared for this might be a slight lie. I thought I was, but I really wasn’t. When she was a little girl, I often wondered what her wedding day would look like, since our situation was so different from everyone else’s.

When Vincent entered her life, as her mother, I truly knew this would be the man she’d share the rest of her life with. They complimented each other so well. They were meant to be. It was never a forced or awkward moment when the two of them came around, so it was only natural that over Memorial Day Weekend 2015, when Vincent found my husband and I sitting in the living room alone, he took the opportunity and asked our permission to propose to our daughter. Of course, we granted permission and then we patiently waited (well, my husband patiently waited, I was anxiously waiting) for the big day!

And that day came on June 19. Taken by complete surprise, my daughter became engaged at the Air Force Memorial in Washington DC and the fun of planning a wedding began. The date was set. And so it began……

Alyssa and Vincent planned the most amazing wedding. Again, I always envisioned myself helping my daughter along in the planning stages of her big day, but I raised an independent gal. She and her fiancé tackled the task of planning a wedding all on their own.

From the date: April 9, 2016 to the venue: All Saints Catholic Church/Bristow Manor Golf Club, the two of them were in charge of their entire day. They chose the flowers (GORGEOUS!), the cupcakes (DELICIOUS), and who they wanted to share their day with (PERFECT GUEST LIST!!!!) And what a beautiful day it was.

We traveled to Manassas, Virginia on Thursday, April 7, in order to start getting ourselves immersed in the area and to offer any help that Lys and Vin might need for their big day. We watched the weather forecasts (which were all calling for SNOW in Virginia on April 9), did some sightseeing, and welcomed all the invited friends and family members as they, too, began arriving for the big day! There were friends and family from Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, West Virginia, Maryland, New York, and probably other places I am neglecting to remember at this moment.

The day of my daughter’s wedding, I woke up early; too early, like 3:30 in the morning early. As the dawn was beginning to break around 6:30, I looked out the hotel window and it was so overcast coupled with snow and rain/sleet. My heart sank. I decided to jump in the shower so I wouldn’t feel so rushed getting myself prepared to head to her house, even though I didn’t have to be there til 10. I stood in the shower and the tears poured from my eyes. I cried for so many reasons. My daughter was getting married. It was the crappiest weather in the SPRING. And I missed my grandparents who were no longer with us. How I wished they could be there. How proud they would have been to see their first great grandchild walking down the aisle. And I cried. I begged for anyone listening to give us a break in the weather. I could handle cold and I could handle wind. I did not want the rain ruining my daughter’s day, even though she was prepared for it. Alyssa went out and bought herself some really cute rain boots and a clear HUGE golf-like umbrella, totally prepared for whatever Mother Nature was going to throw at her! She was prepared. I still didn’t want rain on her day anymore. I know rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck. It rained. It needed to stop.

As the morning progressed, I had my make-up and hair done and I was ready to head to my daughter’s home to help her any way I could with getting ready to go to the church. The rain/snow mixture was still around. My heart sank a little more.

Arriving at my daughter’s, the bridesmaids were all getting ready. I brought the flower girls and together, they all began to jump into wedding mode. My daughter arrived from the salon, where they turned her full head of hair into the most beautiful Disney princess hair I have ever seen!!!! She started putting on her make-up and WOW. In the blink of an eye, I saw my baby transform into a beautiful bride. The weather started breaking. The sky was still full of clouds but there were blue patches coming through. The rain/snow stopped and I just knew it was a little bit of my grandparents helping this day be even more perfect! Again, I was reminded how much of an independent woman my daughter had become. I really wasn’t ‘needed’ at my daughter’s house, but I was so thankful to be there, to be watching it all come together, because when that one moment came that I heard: “Mom, can you come up here and help me a minute.” I smiled the biggest smile and remembered SHE IS MY DAUGHTER and although she is so independent, she still needed me.

It was decided that my daughter and I would get our dresses on at the church, just in case the weather decided to change again. Around 12:30 we headed for the church. I took the flower girls and Vincent’s aunt, who helped the flower girls (one of whom was her daughter) get ready! And by 1:10 we were at the church. It was really happening!

I was so thankful that the rain had stopped. We walked into the bridal suite in the church and the sun was actually shining through the windows in the suite. I got dressed, and then it was Alyssa’s turn. My eyes misted at the sight of my daughter, in her beautiful classic, vintage-looking lace bridal gown, but I did not cry. I was too happy to cry. The photographer came in and took a lot of pictures (I cannot wait to see them all!!!!!). I decided to head out to the lobby and see my husband and let the girls all to themselves in the room with Alyssa.

Alyssa’s bridal party consisted of her sister as Maid of Honor, her best friend from college as a bridesmaid, as well as her Zeta Tau Alpha little as a bridesmaid, too. Alyssa’s goddaughter was one of the flower girls as well as one of Vincent’s cousins. I decided to give the 6 of them time alone to get ready for the big event.

When I returned to the room, I found a penny on the floor of the room, near the bench where all of Alyssa’s things were placed. It was the final sign I needed from my grandparents that THEY had their hand in all that turned out good in this day.

Our moment had arrived and the wedding was beginning. I was ready to walk my daughter down the aisle to the man of her dreams. As her mom, I struggled with this whole ‘giving her away’ idea, for my own VERY personal reasons, reasons that do not need to be written on these pages. As she and I neared the entrance to the church, I could feel the emotions building up. We turned to face the sanctuary and all I remember was the intense pride I felt at seeing everyone they invited, smiles on their faces. We took our cue and went to the top of the aisle, took our little pause, and I looked at my daughter and asked: “Are you ready for this?” She looked my square in the eye, smiled, and said, “Let’s go!” I remember looking down the aisle, seeing my husband’s HUGE smile looking at us and then I saw Vincent’s HUGE smile looking at Alyssa. From that point on, all I could do was smile myself. I walked her down the aisle, hugged my soon to be son-in-law and told him to take care of my girl. I turned, hugged and kissed my daughter, and then took my seat to witness this beautiful wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was out of this world. Beautiful venue, great food and drinks, an out of this world band, and EVERYONE gathered in one place celebrating the new Mr. and Mrs. P!!!!! The moment of the Father/Daughter dance arrived and it was the most beautiful tribute to two of the most important men in Alyssa’s life. The band started playing Stand By Me and my dad began the dance with Alyssa. Halfway through the dance, my amazing husband, who has been such a great influence in her life as her stepfather, cut in and ended the dance with her. It was beautiful and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was perfect. It was as it needed to be. The reception was so filled with laughter and friendship. So many people. So much love. Such a perfect day. A wedding for the ages.

And in a few short hours of time, I went from Mother of the Bride, to Mother-in-law! I promise to be a good one.

Mr. and Mrs. Vincent S. Prinzivalli

April 9, 2016

Dancing their first dance to:

You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne

Until next time....Think Thankfully

 

 

Father's Day Thoughts

Happy Father's Day!

A father is someone who believes that by donating his sperm for your creation, he automatically deserves the respect and title of Dad. On the contrary, a true dad is someone who gets up every day and does whatever he CAN and whatever he HAS to in order to put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on your table. He may not have donated anything more than his time, energy, and love towards your creation and existence, but he CHOOSES to despite the fact that he doesn't HAVE to.

I know six men who are the most AMAZING examples of Father's Day I could have ever hoped to be blessed with in my life. My Pappy Lester and Pappy Wip. Both of these men were great examples of being a father and (great)grandfather and the unconditional love that went along with it. I miss them every single day (Father's Day just a little more). My Pappy Wip was the 'Dad who didn't have to be' to my mom during her growing up years. While he may not have 'fathered' her and my aunts, he sure did raise them up the best he could, after stepping in and taking over the role! My Pappy Lester worked long, hard hours in order for my Grandma to be a stay at home mom and wife, but he never complained. He just went out and worked in order for my dad and uncles to have the best they possibly could in life. My Dad, Les (Butch) Everett.....WOW! What can I say about him? He's always been my guiding star. I've strived every day in the classroom to be even half the teacher he ever was. The lives he impacted in his career is nothing short of awesome. I've strived every day in life to be even half the parent he is. He's always been my rock and my leaning post. He's helped me in ways I can't even begin to thank him for. AND he is the most amazing grandfather to not just my girls, but all SIX of his granddaughters as well. My brothers, Chad and Travis Everett. They've been the best uncles and both of them have always been two very different sources of inspiration and guidance to Alyssa as her GodFathers. AND they are super dads to my nieces. Lastly, Bill DeHart. Where to begin? Bill came into my life and helped me show my girls what a meaningful, loving, respectful relationship looks like. He showed them that disagreements are not the end of the world and that when you love someone, you take the good with the bad and you compromise. He has given my girls as much love, patience, support, guidance, respect, time, and energy as his own children. He has been a SUPERIOR example of what being a Dad is all about, when too many times to count, they were lacking in that area. He's supported all their sporting events, school activities, adventuristic explorations, and through it all has shown them LOVE.



My world is INCREDIBLY better and has been BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE because of these men. Happy Father's Day to the REAL FATHERS out there. The ones who know what it means to TRULY love a child with all their hearts.

Until tomorrow, THINK THANKFULLY!

Guardian angels and good news!!!

Dear Readers,

Life has been very hectic for me the past few weeks. I've been dealing with a lot of personal things as well as shouldering the worry and anxiety of my 24 year old daughter, who has had some major life events happen. My daughter is a worrier, she is riddled with anxiety, and she sets extremely high standards for herself (and subsequently finds herself second guessing herself, causing even more anxiety and stress in her life).

On February 20, she took her comprehensive exams that would pretty much determine her future. In order to graduate from American University (with a pretty impressive Masters Degree), she had to pass the tests placed before her. And in order to obtain the full time job offer that was presented to her, she needed to graduate in May with her Masters. Not passing the comps = no graduation, which in turn = no job. Nightmare situation to find yourself in when you are a worrier.

My daughter has always excelled in school. She places a lot of pressure on herself to get good grades (and let it be known, I never put that pressure on her.....I was always happy as long as my children gave it their best effort). Throughout elementary school, junior high, high school, and undergrad work, she always took on the toughest classes, aimed high, and worried until she knew she was going to succeed. She finished high school in the top 10% of her class, earning many scholarships along the way. She graduated with her Bachelors Degree (with multiple honors) from a pretty highly regarded university and then set her sights on her graduate work.

American University is NOT an easy place to acquire a degree of any kind. It is a very tough, rigorous institution that demands near excellence. To make it through nearly two years of graduate level work in her area of study has not been an easy task for her. So, when she signed up for the comprehensive exams, it began nearly 6 weeks of intense studying and worrying. As her mom, I knew she was going to be just fine, but because she worried, so did I. During this time, she decided to start apartment hunting, moving out of the apartment under the stairs ('Harry Pottering it', as one of her co-workers lovingly referred to her previous living conditions) and onto a little more spacious living arrangement (with natural lighting for a change!!!!!). On top of the mounds of stress with the taking of exams, she adds to it, the stress of finding relatively inexpensive living in the DC-Metro area. Oooooookkkkkkk!!!!

March 21 she got the keys to her apartment. And then the worrying began again. What if I didn't pass my test? What if I don't graduate and don't have my job? What if I have to wait til August? How will I afford this place? All the questions swirled around her head for the past week, and, truth be told, they swirled around mine too. I worried so much.

Enter my angels. I've got three incredible guardian angels who never go too far away from me or my girls: Pappy Lester, Pappy Wip, and Grandma Marilyn. I've written about my grandma many times before. She was my world. It's taken me five years to be almost ok with losing her. But today, she reminded me that she is ALWAYS right here....helping me (and my girls) as much as she can. She proves over and over again that she is my guardian angel.

Today would have been my grandmother's 85th birthday. Marilyn Mae (Rehrig) Everett was born on March 25, 1930. She passed away on February 2, 2010. Today, she reminded me that she is always right here. At about 3pm this afternoon, I received a call from my daughter. She excitedly told me she just got the results to her comps. SHE PASSED THEM!!! I can't think of a more perfect day to find this out. While birthdays are typically a day to receive a birthday gift, today my gram made sure WE were the recipients of the best gift ever: passing scores on the most important test of my daughter's life!!! And to quote one of her friends, when she posted the news on the great book of Faces, "Congrats!! I can't wait to see what all you continue to accomplish!"

I believe in angels. Always have and always will.

Until next time, my friends.....never stop believing in your angels. They are always right there beside you, helping to show you the way.

Think Thankfully bullshit

Dear Readers,

Another late night inspiration for the blog is happening tonight! Let me be quite frank with this one, as tonight I have had an amazing revelation in the way I choose to live my life and what I am doing with the whole Think Thankfully idea! I had another pretty decent day! I am realizing that not just Facebooking Think Thankfully and blogging Think Thankfully, but really LIVING Think Thankfully is the key to truly living happily ever after!

Many people know, from reading previous blog postings OR from knowing me in real life, that my previous marriage was far less than amazing. While I was blessed with two amazing daughters, my marriage itself was far less than perfect. It wasn't the Disney storybook that everyone thinks they need in life. Nope. Not even close. There was A LOT of infidelity and mistrust. There was a lot of disrespect and emotional abuse. There was a lot of me feeling like I had to be a certain way in order to be loved.

Tonight, I spent some time at a local establishment, watching the Nascar race. I am not a Nascar fan, if I must be honest, but we (my husband and I) bought into a Nascar pool and went to see if we could win any money AND to hang out with our friends. I had such a good time. We laughed, we sang to the jukebox, we made silly videos on the new Crazy Helium Booth app that I have on my phone, we enjoyed each others' company.

By the end of the night, something happened, again, that truly made me want to write right on the spot. I even joked with my friend Fran that I was turning this event into a blog. See, I encountered someone from my past that I did not necessarily have the warm fuzzies over. Again, I will not rehash the past, but this person was not someone I would save from a burning building if I had the chance. I know. Doesn't sound like me, right?! Well, tonight, I engaged in conversation with this person. It was nice. It was as if I had no inner feelings towards them. We talked as if there was nothing ever between us. It felt good.

When my friend came back to our spot, she asked if I was ok. I told her I truly was ok and her response...."SEE!!! Your THINK THANKFULLY bullshit is really working!" Although I was immediately taken aback, I laughed! While I don't think of my Think Thankfully way of living as bullshit, tonight I realized without any doubt in my mind, that if you truly believe in it, the idea of Think Thankfully can really change your life. It is a life changing principle. I joked with my friend that I wanted to blog about that immediately. 

This is a no bullshit zone. If you truly believe in the ideas and principles of Think Thankfully, they truly are life changing. I've finally realized that. I live what I post and although sometimes, my own lessons come around in their own sweet time, I still live the idea of Think Thankfully. In the past two weeks, I've had people get back in touch with me who I've lost touch with, potential career changing opportunities show themselves to me, and finally realizing that the past is just that....THE PAST.

I've got an amazing husband, two awesome daughters, a solid family unit, and a group of fabulous friends who are the most important and supportive crew a girl could hope to ever have. I may not be a well renowned author, I may not have a lot of money, I don't even have a lot of people reading this blog right now, but one thing I do have is my sense of self....my sense of who I truly am.

I live in a no bullshit zone. It's how life has to be for me. What you see is what you get. I say what I mean, I mean what I say, and I follow through. In listening and following simple advice, the Think Thankfully bullshit can make a difference to you too. You just have to want it!!

Until next time, my friends....choose the bullshit you want to follow and you want to believe! It can make all the difference!!! To the past being the past, and the present being a gift!!!!

Think Thankfully!

Choose your people wisely

Dear Readers,

I call them toxic. Toxic people. I'm sure you know one (or more) of these types of people. You know what I am talking about...those people who drain you every time you are around them. They complain ALL the time. They are ALWAYS negative. No matter the amount of happiness or positive influence in their lives, they CANNOT see the good. Toxic people. Just as toxic things drain us of our life energy, toxic people drain us of our emotional energy.

I've had a few toxic friendships over the years. The friendships where I've been drained after spending a few hours with the 'friend' I was with. The toxic friend who NEVER had positive things to say, always drained conversations with her 'woe is me' stories and attitudes. The toxic friend who failed to help when I was in a situation because HER troubles were far more important. Toxic friendships. Although it sounds horrible, you absolutely HATE to see these people coming your way. Knowing you must be in their company gives you a feeling of impending doom. There is nothing worse than expecting a great day, only to have that one person simply ruin it by bringing along their own dark cloud and thunderstorm. It is this type of friendship I walked away from, never to look back. I had to do it for me...for my own emotional cleansing.

I am fully aware that before my own Think Thankfully journey, I was a toxic person. I fueled myself on every bit of negativity I could muster. I saw every opportunity for things to go badly. I complained (A LOT more than I do now), bitched, and brought my own dark cloud everywhere I went. I worried all the time, allowed stress and negativity a lot of space in my head, and in the end, I know I pushed people away. People hated to see me coming. Because I valued myself and because I realized the error in how I was living my life, I now feel as though people smile when they see me approaching. I don't tend to push people away anymore.

As I wrote yesterday, each day I give myself the gift of an attitude of gratitude. I no longer allow myself to be burdened with stress of things I cannot control, people I cannot change, and negativity in my life. I have learned that my life is worth LIVING to the FULLEST. To do that, I have learned that I possess a spark inside me that wants to be lit entirely. To keep that spark glowing, I must see the good, experience positive, surround myself with people who make me smile. In allowing my spark the breathing room it needs, I am fully capable of spreading gratitude, happiness, joy, and friendship to those around me, in hopes of igniting their spark as well.

I learned how to embrace the life I was given, fully understanding that my happiness rests solely on what I allow and don't allow in my life. Through my own thankful journey, I learned that I was a draining soul sucker myself. I was toxic and I did not want to be that person anymore. Today, I surround myself with people who challenge me to be a better person, people who give me a reason to smile and a reason to live. 

People have the power to inspire you, or to drain you. Choose your people wisely. Choose YOU wisely. 

Until next time, my friends.....embrace the positives in life and simply let the negative go!


Think Thankfully 

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and more happiness!

My morning was disappointing in that I had hoped to get some answers to some health related issues that have cropped up in my life. It is because of mornings like this particular morning that I do not go to the doctor when I feel ‘some sort of way’. I know some people who are constant complainers of every single ache and pain they feel in their bodies. They run to the doctor, then complain when the doctor can’t identify the source of the pain. I don’t want to be that person, however, today, I certainly felt like I walked a mile in those shoes. I’ve got discomfort, sensitivity, and at least once a day, pain. Uncomfortable pain. After dealing with this for nearly three months, I decided to go to the doctor for the issue. After being examined, nothing definitive was decided. While it wasn’t exactly bad news, in my world, it was devastating. I sat, partially undressed (under the examination gown I was given) and listened to a doctor tell me that he wasn’t sure what the source of my pain was. Insecurities crept in, and I immediately began to think, ‘this man doesn’t believe my pain.’ My mother was along for this visit, and while I know she received a feeling of relief, I felt like my whole reason for not ever going to a doctor was completely validated.

I have no validation for my visit to the dr today. I am having testing done. I have a return visit scheduled (in three months – unless results of tests prove otherwise). And I still have pain and discomfort. Normally speaking, I would not be writing a post like this. I try to keep things positive, but in this instance, I definitely feel like it shows my human side. It shows that I, too, feel defeated at times. This being one of them.

If you know me, you know I am not one to complain. I don’t post all my aches and pains for the world to see (and trust me, there are many aches and pains I feel). I don’t utilize the book of Faces to generate pity or to garner comments galore upon my page. But today, well, today, I am feeling a bit defeated. I want to know why I am experiencing pain. I want to know why I feel discomfort. I want to know it isn’t in my head. I want to feel validated.

Today, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I wanted, but the positive side of it is, I didn’t necessarily get the answers I didn’t want. I learned I must take better care of myself. I can’t possibly take care of those around me if I, myself, am ill. So, I will keep the faith and I will wait, patiently, for results……..and accept any positive thoughts that can be sent my way! Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, and definitely more happiness! And I prefer the happiness!!!

Think Thankfully!!!!

Take charge of YOUR life!

Dear Readers, 

It’s time to embrace the moment and start writing again! I love when the urge to write is bigger than the urge to do anything else at the moment! I sit here in the (somewhat) solitude (Criminal Minds reruns are on the TV providing background noise for me) and so many things swirl around inside my head. I’m a major mish-mash of feelings at this moment, which makes writing a bit tougher than usual, but I forge on, deciding to put onto paper what I’ve got inside my head. Sometimes it helps to battle the blues when I’ve got a keyboard at my fingertips!

I guess you could say I’ve struggled with a form of depression for a little while. I’ve done a very good job of overcoming it, fighting it off by exploring this Think Thankfully journey for the past three and a half years, but it’s always there, in the far reaching bowels of my soul. I can easily slide into feelings of inadequacy, loss, betrayal, fear, and frustration. I think we all can at some point in our lives. When I am at this point in my life, I tend to bottle up my true feelings and I put on the happy face, making it seem like nothing in the world is bothering me. It is at these moments that I feel completely stuck. Like my wheels are turning but I’m going nowhere. Fast. I dream big, but I feel as though I fail at working on reality.

We allow ourselves to believe that we can’t move forward. We can’t get past the rut we are stuck in. But you know what, let me let you in on a little fact of the matter. The truth is (and you KNOW how I feel about the truth!), YOU have the power to move forward no matter what roadblocks you encounter on your journey. YOU have the power to live up to your highest expectation of how amazingly awesome your life can be. YOU have the power to follow through and make significant strides towards your biggest goals, no matter what those goals may be. YOU have all this power because YOU hold in your hand, a CHOICE. In each moment, YOU can choose what you think, what you do, and who you want to be. YOU CHOOSE!

Stop allowing your feelings of inadequacy, loss, betrayal, fear, and frustration control YOU. They are only feelings. They are NOT the fact of your life. Feelings are controlled by YOU. Make the choice to think positively. Be strong and courageous in your daily happenings. Leave no room for inferior feelings. I know it is easier said than done, but believe me, taking baby steps along the way eventually will lead to one HUGE leap, one in which you leave the negativity behind you and start seeing only the positives!!!

Until tomorrow, my friends ….. Take charge of your life and make this day the best day of your life! Keep reminding yourself that you are strong enough to take whatever the next step is in taking charge of YOUR life, and that this step is the only step that matters right now!

Think Thankfully!!!

Writing is good for the soul

Dear Readers,

It's been quite some time since I updated this blog. Some days, I find myself longing for solitude so I can just sit and write and write and write. Other days, I have a strong desire to write and nothing wants to come out. I believe I may overwhelm myself with the idea that I have to write. I pressure myself into writing and then I am stumped as to what I want to say, what I feel is important to get out, what I wish I could say in written word. Many thoughts swirl around in my head but trying to get them out has been a true struggle. Perhaps I am frustrated over the path the publishing of Think Thankfully has taken. Perhaps I am feeling a bit stuck in a rut of neverending complacency. Perhaps I just needed a few days of negative windchills and a laptop to just really sit and focus a bit. Regardless, here we are in the midst of a new blog posting because, truth be told (and if you've followed any of my writings and ramblings, you know I believe in telling the truth to my readers!), I've wanted to write. I've always wanted to write.

A lot of things have contributed to this strong desire to write in the past few weeks. We've had so many snow days, which have left me sitting on my grandma's glider rocker, watching way too much TV. I've had a lot of moments of reflection in the past month, many of which normally bring me a lot of sadness. I've had a few encounters with someone from my past, who still has the capacity to evoke a wide range of feelings/emotions in me. I've had to reevaluate some friendships and sadly, some people have walked away from my life. Add to these things, the fact that my oldest child has found an apartment in a town 210 miles away from me in another state (but believe me, I've been preparing for this one) and is set to move at the end of next month, while my youngest is enjoying a relatively carefree life of a 17 year old, spending much of her free time with her boyfriend, and you get a glimpse of the wide range of emotion/feelings I've been struggling with. My writing urge has been strong, but I struggle with what to put down on paper.

I turn to Think Thankfully to help work through my feelings. Not everything I post upon the page is directed solely at me. Many times, I feel an overwhelming urge to post about a certain theme or idea. Later, I find someone has felt what was posted was exactly what they needed in their life. I've allowed myself the room of a Facebook page to express what I need to. Many people may think that I hide behind the 'mask' of a Facebook page because I do my very best to keep that page more universal and not personal. I keep my true identity relatively hidden on that page. While I post some personal things, rarely do I show the world who I truly am on that particular page, although it isn't much different that what is shown.

During the past three and a half years, I've learned a lot, lost a lot, gained a lot, and worked on being a better person. I've eliminated the negative from my life as much as I can. I've got a little ways to go, but all in all, the negativity has slowly disappeared from my life. I've given myself such room to express my true thoughts and feelings and in return, I feel as though I've imparted some wisdom on the 790 followers that Think Thankfully currently has. I guess, the best thing I can do, is continue on my own journey and hope that others get from it what they need.

I can tell you I'll try to be better at writing here, but I'm not sure if that is an honest admission. Perhaps, instead of giving something physical up for Lent, I will give up the excuses for not writing and dedicate myself to writing for each of the 40 days of the Lenten season. Maybe that will spark some writing fires (and maybe my writing will be noticed by people in order for it to become more of a career rather than a hobby!).

Either way, I'll do what I can. That's all I can say about that......

Until next time, 

Think Thankfully

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

Sometimes we all need reminders to keep the faith and remain grateful for things in life. Not a super easy task for any of us at times. I am constantly reminding myself that it's ok to find myself in a slump, it's ok to not be perfect, it's ok to not please everyone all the time, it's ok (and normal) to have bad days.

Last May, I attended my 15th Springsteen concert. I was 10 years old when I first heard ThunderRoad and instantly fell in love with Bruce and his music. It's been a 31 year (one sided) love affair that continues to grow. Although he has no clue, Mr. Bruce Springsteen has truly been my go-to person during all my troubling times. He's helped me through many a tough time in my life.

Today, October 4. 2014 marks the 3 year anniversary of my Think Thankfully journey. Currently, I've posted 1,096 'Tonight I'm thankful for:' posts on my personal Facebook page. I haven't missed a night, no matter where I've been, who I've been with, or what I've been doing. I posted. They've become the best therapy (aside from listening to Mr. Springsteen) I could have ever attempted. Some days I've had to dig very deep to reach a level of thankfulness, but let me tell you....there haven't been many like that. I've learned that the more you have to be thankful for, the more you are given in this world. I've also started to post them on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, too, each night.

This past year has been a whirlwind for me. I've reunited with some old friends, met a lot of new friends, lost some friends, grown to 735 followers on the Think Thankfully Facebook page, and managed to do it all with a grateful heart for all I've experienced. Through it all, the ups and the downs, two people stand out in my mind who have really affected me during the past year: my dear high school friends, Keri and Ryan. Both of these friends are faced with their own challenges in life and sometimes, I believe, life can get very overwhelming for the two of them. Now, before you go assuming anything, they are NOT married to one another. Keri has a wonderful husband, Jeff, and three children. Ryan has an incredible wife, Jenny, and three children. They are both very special friends to me and I am thankful, so very thankful, to have rekindled old friendships with both of them. If I may share....... 

Last November, I challenged my Think Thankfully followers to start posting a nightly thankful post on their own Facebook pages. My friend Keri accepted the challenge. She is less than a month away from completing an entire year of thankful posts. I love to see her tell people how it has truly changed her way of thinking because let's face it...that's what it's all about!! It's been a wonderful ride, watching her whole mindset start to change from simple things each day to be thankful for, to really giving a power punch to things she's been thankful for. As many people often tell me, I look forward to her thankful posts each night!

Ryan is a very gifted writer. He is also a gifted musician. I've been privileged to be able to read some of his incredible poetry years ago when we both reconnected thanks to Facebook. He's always been a neat person in my eyes, because he has a very unique ability to put his feeling on paper and make you feel every single word of it. And I do mean that. I know Ryan struggles with some personal inner demons. During this past year, Ryan has also taken to posting more of his daily gratitudes.  Although he doesn't do it every single night, in reading Keri's nightly posts and my nightly posts, Ryan is able to really see the value of important things in his life. Recently, he posted something to the effect that he wasn't there yet but he's been working on it! That's what it's all about! Working on it!!!

Heck, I'm not completely there yet. I still have moments of self-pity, anger, frustration, heartbreak, and wondering if it's truly all worth it. In the end, the answer always remains and emphatic YES. I like who I've become on this journey. I like to be the happy person. I love thinking thankfully. I truly am blessed.

Happy Anniversary, Think Thankfully......

Until next time (which I'm going to try to be better at this year....), my friends......remember, there is always, always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for!

Happy Easter!!!

@Casting Crowns 

Happy Easter from Think Thankfully! I’ve taken a bit of a break from writing as the Easter holiday approached. In renewing my faith, I’ve really started to take a lot into consideration as secular holidays come around. While all the children excitedly awaited the arrival of the Easter Bunny, hitting up local egg hunts, searching for the best spot to capture their picture with the Bunny, hoping for lots of candy, chocolates, and presents, I was excitedly awaiting the resurrection of my Lord and Savior.

I know I have always said I would not make this a religiously set blog, however, I have come to realize in my little absence from writing, that much of the cause of my thankfulness is because of my faith.  This morning, as I walked the .75 miles from my home to the cemetery on the hill for the annual 6am Easter Sunrise (Dawn) Service, things became extremely clear to me in this journey I am on.

Let me backtrack a little bit. As you may remember, I spent a few years of my life away from the church. I had a very bad experience with a previous minister and simply felt the foundation of my faith crumble under my feet. Much like Christ on the cross, I felt forsaken by the One I never thought (and was taught) would never do such a thing. I spent time wandering through this life wondering just what I believed.

I found my way back to my church with the arrival of a new minister, Pastor Denton Kees. It took me a little bit, but that man of the cloth, in his own gentle way, helped me find my way back to the fold. I started attending church more regularly and this past January, I was elected to serve on our Church Council (which I am enjoying so far……).

As Easter approached, I spent a lot of time in reflection. I attended Maundy Thursday Services, where I heard a remarkable message from Pastor Gail Kees (Pastor Denton’s wonderful wife). The tone was set for the next three days for me. As Good Friday arrived, I followed my annual tradition of starting my day watching The Passion of the Christ. This year, it hit home much more than it ever has. I still weep at the suffering Jesus Christ endured for ME. My frame of mind and the innermost feelings in my heart were put in the right spot for the waiting….the anxious anticipation of Christ’s Resurrection.

Last night, I set my alarm for 5:15am. I was going to attend the 6am Easter Sunrise Service on the cemetery. It was a tradition I always enjoyed as a youngster. I would be the only one in my family who would wake up, get ready, and trudge across the yard to catch a ride with my neighbors, Ruthie and Merritt. As I got older, it became a yearly tradition to meet my friend, Paul, in front of the church and together we’d walk up the hill to the service. A few times as I grew up, I attended the services, but it has been a few years since I felt it important to wake up and go. Until this year…..

The alarm sounded and I got up without hesitation, threw on my sweats and a baseball hat. I had hoped that my 16 year old daughter would join me, and I know she set her alarm and did wake up, but I believe she fell back to sleep. It was a little pinch of disappointment, but I understand. She’s not quite there yet in her faith journey. I left my house at 5:40 to start walking. Now, .75 miles doesn’t seem like a lot, however, it is quite the hill to climb. It’s not an easy grade to trek up, especially as you get older. At one point, about halfway up the hill, I began to rethink my option. It would be so much easier to just turn around and walk back home. I was short on breath, it was chilly, and I had a little bit of a climb yet. And then, it all came together and my mind swirled with images of Christ carrying His cross up the hill to Golgotha, already beaten down, spit on, ridiculed, and yet He carried that cross up a hill knowing what was going to happen once He reached the top. If He could do it, meeting a far more terrible fate than I would at the top, I, too, can make it. And so I trudged on.

I made it. I arrived at the top in time to be asked to be a reader. What an honor. To many, it wouldn’t seem like much, but to me, to be asked to read at the Resurrection service of my Lord, my Savior was a true honor for me. We celebrated through song, prayer, scripture, sermon, and praise for our Risen Lord. I watched the beautiful sunrise come through the trees on the far edge of the cemetery and I smiled, knowing my Redeemer lives!

The whole walk home, I kept humming the Casting Crowns song, Oh Glorious Day! I am so thankful to have been led back. I am so thankful that, while there are baskets filled on my table for my family, I was raised to know and understand the true meaning of Easter. I am thankful that through my own reflections, I will walk into church this morning, praising the fact that Christ is Risen, and not just saying it, but believing it with my whole heart.

"Glorious Day (Living He Loved Me)"

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises

One day when sin was as black as could be

Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin

Dwelt among men, my example is He

Word became flesh and the light shined among us

His glory revealed

[Chorus:]

Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain

One day they nailed Him to die on a tree

Suffering anguish, despised and rejected

Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He

Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree

And took the nails for me

[Chorus]

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer

One day the stone rolled away from the door

Then He arose, over death He had conquered

Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore

Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him

From rising again

[Chorus]

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming

One day the skies with His glories will shine

Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing

My Savior, Jesus, is mine

[Chorus]

Glorious day, Oh, Glorious day

Christ is risen, my friends…..He is risen, indeed. Until tomorrow……Happy Easter

Think Thankfully