Monday Musings

 

The thoughts that are rambling through my mind this Monday: 

Monday Musings

This morning was truly a Monday in the most Mondayest sense of the word! My hair just didn't end up the way I wanted them to, I forgot my tea in the garage after I set it down to put my school bag in my car, I realized I left my garage door open all weekend (after putting my car in it on Saturday), and my mind just feels like it is in a fog today. I'm attributing that to the fact that I started a new medication last week and yesterday was the first day of taking it twice a day. I was warned that this could be an effect of the meds until my body adjusts. It's not terrible, it's just different for me.

All that aside, I've decided to start working this blog again. I'm going to attempt to write more! I miss it. Writing has always been something I've enjoyed doing. It's always been easier to put my words down on paper (or a screen) rather than speak them. I guess I always thought that if I write what I'm thinking or feeling, I can hand those words off and walk away, not having to deal with the fallout, whatever it may be. If I say them to someone, I'm right there to read their faces or have to deal with whatever they do/say after hearing me. I don't like confrontation. I'm a people pleaser. I don't like being in uncomfortable situations. A lot of time, speaking to people leads to those uncomfortable situations. Writing. That's the ticket for me.

My dream (since I was in high school many moons ago), has been to write a novel. I was in a creative writing class in high school and I penned a wonderful teenage novella. I worked so hard on it, ON A TYPEWRITER, many evenings at my grandmother's house. It was such a good story! BUT.....there was a fire at my parents' house and it got tossed in the clean up. I remember the title, The Brightest Star. I was so proud of that little novella. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Perhaps that is the nudge I need in order to start penning something again.

In addition to some other medical diagnoses I've recently been given (nothing too Earth shattering), I diagnosed myself with atychiphobia - the fear of failure. I think this is why I never see any writing through to completion. I fear no one will read it. I fear no one will like it. I fear failure. I do know that failure propels you to success. So, that being said, I'm going to start small - blogging again - and then I will start framing out the ideas I have for a novel. Or maybe a children's book! Or....who knows!!! I just know I really want to write.

Mondays are a good day to refocus and set our intentions for the week, for a specific thing, for anything!!! Today, I'm setting my intention to get back in the writing game.

Until next time.....

An all day every day love affair

It's the month of LOVE. February is always associated with red, hearts, love, Valentines, romance. February is my second favorite month of the year (next to November, of course - shout out to my beautiful November-born daughters).

Let's talk love. Love is a beautiful thing and I am so truly blessed to have pure and true love in my life on a daily basis. I'm not a huge proponent of Valentine's Day, but I love LOVE. I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. Read that again.....I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. I am truly blessed and I realize not everyone can say that. Before my husband entered my life, I could not say that. My first marriage was a hot mess of mental and emotional abuse. I was never truly shown what love looked like in a marriage. That all changed when Bill entered my life.

This past Christmas, Bill and I were married 10 years. Most people say that love starts to fade a bit with time. I am here to tell you, in the right relationship that does NOT have to be the case. I am still just as in love with and attracted to my husband as I was the first time I laid eyes on him. It still excites me that I am the one who is lucky enough to fall asleep next to him and wake up with him by my side every single night/day. The excitement of coming home from work to see him is still strong, the giddy feeling of him letting me know he's on his way home from work at the end of the day is still as strong as it was in the beginning. I look forward to my morning text messages each and every day. If there is such a thing as a honeymoon stage in a relationship, ours is nowhere near being over! 

I do not believe I need a special day to be showered with love and romantic gestures, mostly because I get that every single day. I remember back when things were fresh and new, telling Bill that I hoped we would never get to a point where saying I love you was just something that was automatic and said because it felt like it should be. I never wanted to get to a point where we felt as though we had to express love towards one another, because it was expected of us. All these years later, nothing has changed. Expressing love towards one another is so natural, so easy. It's one of the easiest things to do, love my husband. We truly have an all day every day love affair, and it is exciting, wonderful, intense, romantic.

My wish for whomever is reading this, is that YOU have a love like this in your life, that you are able to experience such an incredible love at some point, if you don't already. I realize I am blessed and that what I have is extremely special to be able to say I have Valentine's Day EVERY SINGLE DAY in my life. I wish you a forever love....the kind of love that gives YOU an all day every day love affair!

Happy Valentine's Day!