Prayers and remembering

Today's blog is going to be short and sweet. I am asking that the Think Thankfully Nation please keep my little brother, Travis, in your thoughts and prayers over the next 6 months as he deployed this morning for his 5th tour in the Middle East.

I'm truly at a loss for words this week, as it is my least favorite week of the year, and add to it the deployment of my little brother, I just feel like nothing I have to say will be worth much. With that being said, I am extremely proud of my brother's selfless sacrifice and his dedicated service to our great nation, The United States of America.

I am also asking you to remember the lives of the astronauts on the Space Shuttle Challenger, as today marks the 28th anniversary of the explosion just 73 seconds after lift off, killing all 7 on board, including one of my heroes, Sharon Christa McAuliffe, the first teacher in space. I remember sitting in my 7th grade Science class, watching. My teacher, Mr Eckhart had applied for the Teacher in Space program. We knew all about it and I was intrigued. At the moment of explosion, I can remember thinking, "Oh my...all the students that are watching this." and at that moment, I knew I wanted to inspire people the way Christa McAuliffe had inspired me. "I touch the future, I teach."

"They slipped the surly bonds of earth

To touch the face of God."

President Reagan January 28, 1986

Until tomorrow, my friends.....cherish those you love and never waste a minute on holding on to anger. Love deeply, always.

Think Thankfully

It's perfectly ok....

I am in a funk. I blame it on the time of year. I seem to have lost all motivation and desire to do anything. It is a feeling I do not like, nor do I want to keep in my life. I know I'll get over it, but for now, I am in a funk. And you know what? It is really ok!

This weekend has been a big old bag of yuck. My daughter has been battling a bit of a sickness all weekend long (ok, it isn't a bit of a sickness, she is SICK) but doesn't want to miss school, basketball, anything. She is run down, coughing up both lungs, a tad whiny, and just not her usual self. At 16 years old, I still feel sorry for her when she is feeling poorly, much like when she was a baby. It sucks. We spent all day yesterday couped up in the house (which hasn't helped my mood) and today followed suit (couped up all afternoon, going stir crazy). Yes, I am in a funk. And you know what? I AM ALLOWED TO BE!

For a long time after I started this whole Think Thankfully idea, I always thought that I had to put on a chipper face and smile through everything simply because that is what people now expected of me. I am no different that anyone else. I get frustrated, irritated, moody, and I, too, fall into a funk. And you know what??? It's perfectly ok, too!

It is very safe to say this past weekend, I felt sad, down, somewhat blue. Instead of kicking myself in the pants and trying to smile my way out of my funk (which I knew was not a reality because my heart and spirit wasn’t in it) I simply sat down to write it out. Yesterday was a wash. As much as I wanted to write, my time was needed with my daughter. Yes, a sick 16 year old still requires a lot of ‘mom time’ when she is sick. And guess what? That is perfectly ok with me!

While I talk and write about a positive attitude and always being thankful, I constantly remain 100%  realistic about everyone going through these ‘down days’ every once in awhile. So many people think that because you live a happy, positive life more often than not, you are immune to the ‘down days’. Wrong answer! As I sit here typing away, I want to scream, shout, let it all out….and more importantly, I want you to know – IT IS PERFECTLY OK TO FEEL THIS WAY! Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to not do anything we simply don’t feel like doing (for a day or two), to just wallow a bit in some self pity, to cry if we need to, to have those ‘down days’. And you know what? It is ok! Give yourself that permission! It is perfectly OK!!!!

This much is true: I will get over it.  I know this feeling won’t last long. This funk has been here before (pretty much last year around this time) and I know as soon as I satisfy my need to just ‘be blue’, I will be right back on top of my game, spewing out the sparkly colors of the rainbow for everyone!!!

Until tomorrow, my friends…..don’t try to hide your feelings or pretend they don’t matter. They do! And it is PERFECTLY OK to feel down and blue once in awhile. It is healthy. Just don’t allow yourself to stay that way for too long!!!

Think Thankfully!

Memories, light the corners of my mind

This time of year is normally very rough for me. From today through my birthday, I find myself drifting towards a darkness I really despise. My heart becomes heavier and I long to go back in time. 

Five years ago today, we said goodbye to my Pappy. His passing was quite unexpected and came on the heels of losing my other grandfather, almost two years prior. My Pappy was a one of a kind guy, the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, the most encouraging word, and always left you feeling like you were the most important person in his world. 

I was fortunate to have such an amazing man to call my Pappy Wip. He was known by almost everyone: the oil man (he worked for a local oil company), Wipper, Wip. Known for his fingerless salute (he lost two fingers in a press accident when he was younger), my Pappy always threw those fingers in the air as a sign of irritation, hello, or just to make his presence known. He surely was one of a kind. 

My Pappy didn't have to be my pappy. He came into my mother's life as a father figure when my mother and her sisters were just young girls. He loved my grandma through good times and bad and the year my mom married my dad, my grandma and pap got married, too! He was never a step anything, which is probably why I dislike the term step in my own family. 

My Pappy supported all our sports, all of our endeavors, everything we did. Everyone should be so fortunate to have a grandfather like Wip Kleintop was!!!

Today, as I walked into the Catasauqua High School gym to watch the Bomber Boys Basketball team, I felt the spirit of Wip Kleintop screaming at me. I knew that I had to write. So here I sit, in the bleachers while everyone else is watching a good JV game end, writing. 

To you, my sweet grandfather....5 years of missing you. I two fingerless salute you!!! And I'll have a 7&7 in your honor later!

Until tomorrow, my friends....

Think Thankfully!

What I think Marilyn Monroe's quote means.....

As I sit here today, writing this blog, the temperatures outside are registering at 7* (with a wind chill of -10*). Since being up this morning, I've watched The Golden Girls, vacuumed my downstairs and collected some garbage to go out tonight, enjoyed some games on the iPad, and just sat in the quiet of my living room. As I looked around the room, I couldn't help but smile when I took inventory of all the photographs we have displayed in our home. We've got tons of pictures of the kids, the grandkids, and the nieces, our parents, our siblings, my grandparents.....and then, there are a wonderful fair share of photographs of my husband and I.....and then I couldn't help but sit in total thanksgiving for the blessing of my husband in my life.

Being married to me has not always been easy. I am a difficult person to love at times. I can be very moody, easily have my feelings hurt, and I am a pro at distancing myself when I find myself in times of trial or tribulation. I am one of the most insecure people you will meet. I can be loud, opinionated, sarcastic, and at times embarrassing. Yes, I can be a very difficult person to love. Things have gotten a lot better since I started on this journey to be a more thankful, positive person, but I still have my lapses in positivity. It never ceases to amaze me how much my husband loves me, despite all my flaws. He truly is a blessing in my life. Sometimes, I expect to wake up and find this was all just a dream. Many times I feel as though I don't deserve his love and devotion. Far too often, I feel like I fail him in the category of loving him. Sure I always say, "I love you more", but the truth is, there is no possible way that is accurate. 

It warms my heart to see so many pictures of the two of us throughout our home. This is something that seriously lacked in my first marriage. There were next to no pictures of the two of us displayed in our house. Not this time. We have pictures of our first outings together, band nights where I would sit and watch in awe at my man's musical abilities, vacations together, and our wedding. So many happy memories made. So many smiles. Coming from a first marriage that ended quite bitterly, I never thought I was worthy of being loved like this. How wrong I was!!! All the pictures displayed are awesome reminders of how much we enjoy each other's company, how we enjoy being together, how in love we are.

I've often seen the image above floating around Facebook, some people using it as a 'get out of jail free card' for their negative way of living, their negative attitudes, their 'right' to be a self proclaimed 'b*tch' towards others and still feel as though they deserve the princess crown. Not me. First of all, this is the first time EVER I've used this quote on social media, because it doesn't give me the power to be the hard to love woman as much as it validates the idea that my husband and I share a true love for one another.....one in which he is able to truly love me at my worst. And my worst was truly bad. I put the man I love through hell years ago. In the early part of our relationship, I pushed him away, pulled back all the love I wanted to give him, ignored him, gave the cold shoulder.....totally unsure I was ready to walk completely away from a former life into something new (and at the time a bit scary). Did he walk away? Did he cast me out? Absolutely not. Could he have? Absolutely. I remember well him saying to me, "Go and do what it is you feel you need to do, but remember when it all crumbles apart again, I will be right here waiting for you, to love you as I have been loving you all along." I often think of that and I am reassured by those words. A man who puts up with the bullshit I've dealt sincerely deserves a medal of honor and I don't think I truly deserve him and his love as much as he deserves to be loved by me. He truly deserves me at my best, but my best is just that BECAUSE of him....because of what he has brought into my life, how he changed me.

There are moments we are together that I feel childish for always emphasizing to him how much he means to me, how much I love him. Sometimes I feel it is my penance for what I put him through those many years ago. There are times I feel as though no amount of 'I love you's' are enough for him to truly know what a difference he's made in my life. And as I sit here writing, I can't help but be moved to tears that someone as amazing as my husband, loves ME the way he does. Completely. Unconditionally. Through thick and thin.

I feel as though I am living my best life right now. Happy. Content. Positive. Thankful. My hope is that you are, too. 

Until tomorrow, my friends......

Think Thankfully.

I am here to live out loud!

"If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will answer you: I am here to live out loud."

~Emile Zola

Since Sunday, I’ve had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. In the blink of an eye, a whole host of people had their lives altered forever. I cannot help but think about the mother of the girl who is still in the fight of her life….for her life. I wonder what she is thinking, what is going through her mind. And then I think about my own daughters. Do I tell them enough that I love them? Do I remember to say it each time we part from one another? When we hang up from talking to one another?  Part of me lives in fear each time my youngest daughter walks away from me toward the school in the morning. Part of me lives in fear each day with my oldest daughter living in a major city on her own. A few weeks ago, the university my oldest is doing her grad work at was on lock down due to an armed man on campus. Fear? You bet. Last week, I heard of a school shooting at a charter school in Philadelphia. Make me nervous? Absolutely, but, that being said……

…..our lives are not meant to be lived in the shadows of fear and doubt! Our lives are meant to be lived out loud! We shouldn’t be sitting quietly, waiting for things to happen (or NOT happen for that matter). We shouldn’t be living in the ‘what if’s’ and ‘should have, could have, didn’t’ mode. We cannot be sitting around wishing we had told someone how we felt about them, had gone on the trip of a lifetime (because hey! We only get one of those lifetimes, don’t we?), had taken the time to get to know someone. Our lives were meant to be LIVED OUT LOUD!

Life is happening right now. RIGHT NOW!!!  As you sit here reading today’s blog, life is ticking away, second by second. Don’t sit back and wait for opportunities to come to you! LIVE OUT LOUD! Go and take those opportunities! Make the best of what you have right now and be thankful for it! Simply because things didn’t go your way, or something bad has happened in your life, don’t put your life on hold, worried about the what if’s. Live with the possibility that something GREAT will happen at any given moment, and live your best life each and every day. No regrets, no shadows, only bold and with purpose!

To quote Garth Brooks: “Our lives, are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss, the dance.” Don’t miss that dance, my friends…..LIVE YOUR LIFE RIGHT OUT LOUD!!! Don’t let the fear of pain get in your way of being true to you, living life out loud, wearing your true self on your sleeve, and always thinking thankfully!!!

Until tomorrow,  my friends…..are you living out loud or in the shadows of fear and doubt?

Think Thankfully!!

Don't wait to express your thanks

I sat down to write yesterday, but I just didn't have it in me. It seemed like what I'd write about would make me look selfish in light of other things that were happening yesterday. I sat down to write this morning, and the same things popped into my head. When I always tell people that some days you have to dig deep, it applies to myself, too, as I sit and blog for the masses.

Yesterday, a horrific car accident occurred, which involved some of my babygirl's friends. Five teens. Two of those children are in pretty serious shape in the hospital. I learned real quickly yesterday to stop harping on my babygirl for not wanting to drive. Sure she has her permit, but she has no real interest in learning how to drive. I now understand why.

As I sit here this morning, I am thankful for so many things that right now, feel so wrong. I'm thankful that my babygirl is such a homebody. I'm thankful that she is relatively healthy. I'm thankful she isn't comfortable being behind the wheel of a car. I'm thankful that I could hug her and kiss her last night. I'm thankful...... and seeing it written out doesn't make me feel any better. I still feel quite wrong for putting it into words.

My heart aches for the parents of the two teens who are fighting a fierce battle with major injuries sustained in the accident. My heart aches for the parents of the three other teens who will live with the images of the accident for years to come. My heart aches for all parties involved. My prayers are lifted for each and every person affected by this accident.

Today.....stop and say a prayer of healing and of strength. Tomorrow is never promised to any of us. Heck, our days and minutes are counted. We may not make it through today......I feel the compelling need to thank you all for being in my life, for taking this journey with me, for being my friend. I may have never met you, we may not 'know' one another, but I am thankful you are in my life. Until tomorrow, my friends.....don't wait to tell the people in your life you are thankful for them. Reach out and do it now....tomorrow is promised to no one.

Think Thankfully

Take time to enjoy the simple things!

Some people may read this blog today and think, "Man is she a shallow person." Au contraire, mon frère!!!! (Gotta love attempting to write a new language, huh???? Are you impressed??!!) I am farthest thing from a shallow person, if I do say so myself, but it was while I was sitting in the chair at the nail salon this morning, that the inspiration for this blog entry hit me!

I thoroughly enjoy my 'alone' time at the nail salon. I enjoy being pampered a little bit. Quite honestly, it is the only real thing I do for myself and it only happens once every three weeks or so (depending on time and finances). This morning, I woke up to snow on the ground and the idea that I really had to go get my nails done. It had been since before Christmas, they were growing out, and way too long. They were in desperate need of an overhauling. So, I got up, got ready and headed out the door.

As I was sitting there, being pampered by a very sweet Asian lady, who had the most gentle touch I have EVER encountered while getting the nails done, I couldn't help but be utterly thankful for the moment. I was so thankful that I had made the effort and the time to go this morning. After the week I had, I needed someone to just sit and pamper me for a little bit. I was thankful that this particular nail tech had the most gentle of touches. I barely knew she was working on my nails. I was thankful I have a car that is great in the yucky weather, because I had no fear about driving with the slushy mix on the roadways. I was thankful I had the time to myself.

While I was sitting there, I got a notification of a tweet sent my way. It just so happened my 'nephew' (see, he isn't REALLY my nephew, but rather my cousin's son, but even my cousins' children refer to me as Auntie Ally, which I absolutely LOVE), Z, wondered about the basketball games that would be consuming my afternoon. What time did they start, he wondered. Graciously, I answered him (while I knew what was coming next, I let him ask it anyway). Feel like picking a nephew up? At that moment, I was incredibly thankful that my extended family refers to me as Auntie Ally and I was even more thankful that he reached out and asked. My response....in all caps.....ABSOLUTELY! Love love love the moments I spend with all my 'kids'.

So, while it may seem shallow that I am one of THOSE gals who enjoys having my nails done, the experience today really made me appreciate the little things in life. The time spent alone with my thoughts really offered me the opportunity to sit and realize that sometimes I do take for granted the little things in life that I should be a bit more thankful for. I do believe that happens to us all at some point in our lives. We are so used to things we do, we are able to do, or we are about to do that we forget that others might not have those opportunities and we should be thankful for EVERY little moment, no matter how little it may be.

As I sat there today, counting the little things in that brief hour, I realized I was thankful for: the quiet time to get my nails done, the fact that I quit biting my nails and now have beautiful ones, a great car to get me from point A to point B in yucky weather, the money to get my nails done and put gas in my car, a fabulous family, and simply the gift of a new day in which to do as much as possible to spread happiness and the idea of being more thankful!

Until tomorrow, my friends....take time each day to enjoy the simple things in life.

Think Thankfully!!